First Day

Maryelle look behind her as her dad waves from the car. Lifting a hand and forcing a smile she makes eye contact with him. He is just as afraid. Turning around, Maryelle looks at the school. The air hear is fair, not cold like home. Her feet feel glued to the earth, but force them to move anyway.

As she walk through the campus she can feel eyes staring like daggers. She moves quicker trying to keep her posture confident but also remaining modest. She doesn't want to be seen. The books are heavy in her arms. There are so many students. Maryelle can feel her breath shaking every time she passes someone. The school year has already started, she's new, fresh meat, no one will want her here; she don't even want her here. Maryelle's pace increases as she scouts an isolated spot to look over her things.

Finally, a secure location is ahead. She sits in the grass. There is no one in a ten yard radius. This is good. She opens the math book and gazes at examples of logarithms and exponentials. This is also good. "I at least know how to control variables." She sighs. "If not myself."

Electricity runs through her creating static in her hair and in things she touches. It always gets worse, more sporadic, with nerves. Her body is powerful, uncontrolled. She can feel it. Anxiety races through her limbs and collects in her fingers and toes. "I don't want to be here." Maryelle. mutters.

Home school was better; there was no fear. Hands are shaking, palms moist, she can see electricity running through her in brief flashes of blue under her skin.

Maryelle leans her head back, up at the sky, closing her eyes. "Why do I have to be here?" she moans to herself.

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