The Blue Streak

KittKatt scanned the room and found the door behind some junk and they left the junk room to explore the rest of the ship.

As Dave, Jack and KittKatt explored the Garbage Scow they noticed it had been neglected for a long time and reeked terribly. By sheer accident they found the bathrooms where too disgusting to describe.

KittKatt (sarcastic): What a wonderful smell you've discovered Master.

Jack: You would think anyone with technology this advanced would have enough sense to make an air freshener.

Dave: Wow Jack you are a genius. Maybe we could market that idea.

KittKatt: Oh please you biologicals worry about the dumbest stuff.

Jack: How did your personality change so badly? You weren't like that in the beginning.

KittKatt: Don't ask me chicken lips. You're the genius who chose my personality.

Jack: I didn't pick anything.

KittKatt: Oh and suppose it wasn't your hands on my console when your shaggy friend here scared you.

Dave: Sorry about that man.

Jack: Oh man. I must have done it by accident. Can't we fix it?

KittKatt: Sorry numbnut but you're stuck like Chuck on that one. My console is stuck so whaaattttevvver.

Jack: Just great. Can this day get any worse?

After going down the corridor the three companions find the command deck and several alien skeletons.

Jack: It just got worse.

KittKatt: No kidding Shamrock.

Jack: Huh? Don't you mean Sherlock?

KittKatt: Who is that?

Jack: Never mind. What happened to them? Is it contagious?

Dave: Wow man. I hope not.

KittKatt: Fine you crybabies, I'll scan them. (scanning with her eyes) Well the good news is they are not contagious.

Jack: What's the bad news?

Dave: Chill Jack. Don't be so negative. There is no bad news right KittKatt?

KittKatt: Actually there is fuzz face. These idjuts died of contaminated food. So feel free to sample any left overs.

Dave: Oh that's nasty. Their food shriveled up to.

Jack: How can you even suggest that KittKatt?

KittKatt: Meh. Its no biggy for me I can still recharge my batteries.

Jack: Your lack of compassion is heart breaking.

KittKatt: Suck it up ya wuss. I don't have a heart. Besides that's not food shriveled up by them.

Dave: What do ya mean?

KittKatt: Well fuzz face, these jerks haven't been dead that long but they are down to bones already.

Jack: So something ate them?

KittKatt: Bingo wuss boy. You win a smack to the back of your head, (smack).

Jack: OUCH!

Dave: So then what ate them? Are they still on the ship?

KittKatt: Relax fuzz face, the things that ate them are those shriveled up things by them.

Jack: They look like dates.

KittKatt: What's a date?

Dave: On earth they take a fruit called a plum and dry it out so they can eat it later without spoiling it.

Jack: Yeah what he said.

KittKatt: amusing. Lets go with that answer.

Dave: I doubt those are dates. What are they?

KittKatt: You don't want to know.

Jack: KittKatt what are they?

KittKatt rolled her eyes up as she crossed her arms, turned her head to the side and muttered her answer.

KittKatt: Space Herpes.

Dave: What was that?

KittKatt: I said Space Herpes you deaf jerks.

Jack: Ewww gross. So how do we get rid of them?

KittKatt: Don't get your panties in a twist girly boy. They all died of starvation after they ate the crew.

Dave: That's a relief, but we will need to be careful in case they any laid eggs.

Jack: Dave what are we gonna do?

Dave: Maybe we can access the ships computer?

Jack: Great idea Dave.

David tried to access the controls only to get trouble from the ships computer.

Ships Computer: Please enter Identification.

Dave: Hey I'm Dave and I need to access the controls.

Ships Computer: Access denied.

Dave: Come on. Help a fella out here.

Ships Computer: I'm sorry Dave I can't do that.

Dave: Ship tell us where we are.

Ships Computer: I'm sorry Dave I can't do that.

Jack: Ship the crew is dead can you give me command?

Ships Computer: I'm sorry Dave I can't do that.

Jack: But my name isn't Dave....its Jack and the crew is dead.

Ships Computer: Oh why didn't you say so? Enter the password.

Jack: Password?

Ships Computer: Password confirmed. Welcome Captain Jack. How may I address you?

Jack: Jack Styles.

Ships Computer: Welcome Captain Jack Styles.

Dave: Sweet Jack you did it.

KittKatt: Great make the dumb one the Captain cause some dolt forgot to update the password from "Password".

Jack: Hey! I didn't see you helping.

KittKatt: Yeah yeah whatever. (crossing her arms in defiance)

Jack: Man your mean.

KittKatt: Suck it up buttercup.

Dave: Relax Jack. Don't let her get to you. Let's see what the Ships Computer knows.

Jack: Uhhh yeah sure. Ships Computer what is your name and mission?

Dave: Good one Jack.

Ships Computer: This is the Garbage Scow TK-421 and we are in current route to planet PX9-90210 also known as Junkopia to drop off a load of garbage.

Jack: Why are we dropping off the garbage?

Ships Computer: Because the residents of PX9-90210 are paying top dollar for this junk.

Jack: Why would anyone pay for garbage?

Ships Computer: The residents on PX9-90210 use the junk for assorted needs such as making repairs to their equipment and making food. They even make robots out of junk.

Jack: Do they have an need for Ms. Congeniality over here? (pointing at KittKatt)

KittKatt: Do it and die scumbag. I'd rather stick with you than get taken apart with those nutjobs.

Jack: Then can you try to be nicer to us?

KittKatt: Fine, but your asking me to go against the personality you selected.

Jack: Thanks KittKatt.

KittKatt's cheeks turned a shade of red before she turned away to hide her face as if she was embarrassed.

Jack: So Ship after we drop off the garbage what are we scheduled to do?

Ships Computer: Well considering the previous owner of this ship was an independent contractor and his successor is that pile of bones by the cheeky robot, it seems you will need to address that decision yourself, since this is the last scheduled mission.

Dave: So after we drop off this junk and get paid we can do whatever we want right?

Jack: What are you saying Dave? What about my home? My classes? My job?

Dave: Do you really miss that life enough to go back and deal with the space pirates?

Jack: Oh yeah.

Dave: At least now we can figure out what they want from us while we avoid them.

Jack: Yeah I guess you are right.

KittKatt: Well if you two girls are done gossiping, I suggest you figure out how we are gonna live on this garbage heap. I don't know how you feel about hygiene, but I prefer to live on a clean ship that doesn't reek of Snaggerburgs.

Dave: Good thinking KittKatt.

Jack: Yeah this place definitely needs a good cleaning. Maybe we can get some cleaning equipment on that planet.

As it turned out the garbage customers not only paid well for the garbage shipment, but they even paid a bit extra to clean the Jack's ship since they were in dire need of the dust, slime, oil and mold for reasons untold. Oddly enough they even extracted the stink from them and the ship since it was a luxury item to them. As they were hungry they decided to find a decent space diner to eat at and maybe find some rumors about the Space Pirates.

After they left the planet they set course for the nearest restaurant. However before they could get to far they began to have have problems with the engines and had to make an emergency landing on a rather large asteroid. While trying to figure out what the problem was TK-421 spoke up.

TK-421: Uh Captain Jack I just found something odd not far from here.

Jack: What is it?

TK-421: I believe its a ship.

KittKatt: It's probably some space pirates hiding so they can attack ya.

Jack: Not cool KittKatt!

Dave: Jack ask if the ship has power.

Jack: TK-421 scan the ship for power and life.

TK-421: Scanning. No life forms on board but the power seems to be on reserve mode.

Dave: lets check it out.

Jack: Really?

KittKatt: Geez Master you are such a wuss. Don't worry I'll protect ya if you start crying.

Then KittKatt laughed as she walked away from them and headed to the air to fetch some space suits.

Jack and Dave shrugged as they followed her. Jack turned beet red as he watched KittKatt walking like a model on a catwalk. After suiting up and listening to KittKatt taunt them they made their way through the inside of the dark asteroid to find a large ship.

KittKatt had no problem accessing the ship and led them inside only to find it was deserted and very clean. In fact there was no trace of anyone being on the ship. Dave believed the ship was most likely stolen and hidden here by pirates to sell. Out of fear of their return Jack wanted to get out of there soon, however in the process to avoid touching KittKatt he tripped and fell on the console causing it to activate.

Lola: Imprinting accepted. Please identify for voice recognition.

Jack: Not again?........

Lola: Voice pattern accepted. Please identify.

Jack: Umm.....Jack......Jack Styles but wait.

Lola: Identification of Umm Jack Jack Styles but wait registered.

Jack: No its just Jack Styles.

Lola: Affirmative. Identification Jack Styles. I am Lola your AI support on board the Blue Streak.

KittKatt: For a wuss you seem popular with AI's Master! (scowl)

Jack: I didn't do it on purpose.

KittKatt: That's what they all say. You two timer.

Jack: Huh?

Dave: I think KittKatt doesn't like you having another female AI.

Jack: I didn't do it on purpose though.

Lola: Sorry Captain Jack, but I am picking up a ship nearby.

Dave: That's just TK-421. We came on that ship.

Jack: Yeah we did.

Lola: No sir I am referring to the pirate ship that is targeting the garbage scow.

KittKatt: Oh SNAP! Pirates are here!

Jack: Oh crap get us out of here Lola.

Lola: Sorry Captain but the path is blocked by both ships.

Dave: How will we get out of here then?

Lola: Well I would suggest the improbability drive.

Dave: You have one of those?

Lola: Yes but its only a prototype version.

Jack: What's that?

Lola put a video on the screen.


KittKatt: As you can see we will either escape or die depending on if it works, but since the pirates are going to kill us anyway I suggest we try our luck Master.

Jack: Ok do it Lola.

Then in a flash they were no longer in the asteroid or on danger, however they were no a giant ball of yarn for a ship and they were all made of yarn. Poor Jack was feeling sick as he threw up yarn into a bucket. As he was calming down they returned back to normal space.

Lola: Success Captain Jack. Where shall we go now?

Jack: Oh man my head is spinning. What now Dave?

Dave: Well as it is we are being hunted by pirates from before and now we also have this ship that they want so I think its best we avoid them if possible.

Jack: Agreed, but we can't just hide forever right?

KittKatt: Oh so you do have a spine Master.

Jack: KittKatt shut it.

Dave: No you are right Jack. We need to get some answers or we will be on the run forever.

Jack: So what do do?

Dave: Well I know a few people we could try to get some answers from but it might be a bit dangerous.

KittKatt: Well we nothing to loose anyway Master.

Jack: Yeah I guess. Just try not to find the scary ones first.

KittKatt: And the Spineless one is back.

Lola: Sorry to interrupt your depressing mood Captain but since you will be living here I suggest you become acquainted with this ship.

Lola then showed them the sleeping quarters.

Blue Streak is 150 meters long. It is shaped like a spinning top bug, and it is generally rather blueish silver.
The cabin is mostly white, oblong and about the size of a smallish restaurant. It is not, however, perfectly oblong. Two long walls have been raked round in a slight parallel curve. All of the angles and corners of the cabin are contoured in excitingly chunky shapes. The truth of the matter is that it would have been a great deal simpler and more practical to build the cabin as an ordinary three-dimensional oblong room, but then the designers would have gotten miserable. The cabin looks excitingly purposeful. There are large video screens ranging over control and guidance system panels on the concave wall, and long banks of computers set into the convex wall. Capable of housing up to twelve crew members has a food replicator based on thought, has a small shuttle for four for small trips and auto repair drones on board.

The entire ship is outfitted with the latest GPP (Genuine People Personalities) utilizing technology. All the doors in the spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close with the knowledge of a job well done. The doors sigh when they open and close. Lola has a warm sexy voice that caters to her Captain. The entire ship is outfitted with a tannoy system, which allows for announcements to be made across the entire ship at once. The unique thing about the Blue Streak is that it is powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, a small golden box at the heart of the ship — hence its name. This is, of course, powered by an infinite improbability generator. As soon as the ship's drive reaches infinite improbability, it passes through every point in the Universe, thus allowing the ship to go anywhere without all of that mucking about with hyperspace and what not.

After getting some food and settling down in their rooms they decided to get some rest as Dave looked through the nearby systems to figure out where to go next.


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