Characters in this post
View character profile for: Jack Styles
View character profile for: Dave Shonuff
View character profile for: KittKatt
View character profile for: Humma Kavula (NPC)
View character profile for: NPC Blue Streak
The Old Pirate King??Posted by
Posted: Feb 12, 2017, 7:50pm
Lola then showed them the sleeping quarters.
Blue Streak is 150 meters long. It is shaped like a spinning top bug, and it is generally rather blueish silver.
The cabin is mostly white, oblong and about the size of a smallish restaurant. It is not, however, perfectly oblong. Two long walls have been raked round in a slight parallel curve. All of the angles and corners of the cabin are contoured in excitingly chunky shapes. The truth of the matter is that it would have been a great deal simpler and more practical to build the cabin as an ordinary three-dimensional oblong room, but then the designers would have gotten miserable. The cabin looks excitingly purposeful. There are large video screens ranging over control and guidance system panels on the concave wall, and long banks of computers set into the convex wall. Capable of housing up to twelve crew members has a food replicator based on thought, has a small shuttle for four for small trips and auto repair drones on board.
The entire ship is outfitted with the latest GPP (Genuine People Personalities) utilizing technology. All the doors in the spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close with the knowledge of a job well done. The doors sigh when they open and close. Lola has a warm sexy voice that caters to her Captain. The entire ship is outfitted with a tannoy system, which allows for announcements to be made across the entire ship at once. The unique thing about the Blue Streak is that it is powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive, a small golden box at the heart of the ship. This is, of course, powered by an infinite improbability generator. As soon as the ship's drive reaches infinite improbability, it passes through every point in the Universe, thus allowing the ship to go anywhere without all of that mucking about with hyperspace and what not.
After getting some food and settling down in their rooms they decided to get some rest as Dave looked through the nearby systems to figure out where to go next.
Jack was in the Captain's quarters resting on the bed. He stared at the ceiling as he contemplated his journey from his home. He wondered if his family would be upset about him being gone. Then he realized his arm pits were a bit foul so he headed to the shower with his towel. As the ship mentioned there was a dry cleaning machine next to the shower so he put his dirty clothes in the in it and started it as he showered. Once he was rinsing off KittKatt entered the bathroom.
Jack: Oh Snap! I'll be out soon so.......Wait a sec robots don't shower do they?
KittKatt: Did you figure that out on your own?
Jack: What ever I did I'm sorry so please go away.
KittKatt: Am I so ugly you need to avoid me?
KittKatt: Yeah yeah what ever. I get it. I am defective. I'm sure you will get rid of me as soon as you can.
Jack: It's not lie that.
KittKatt: Oh really now? My creator tossed me into the garbage and you avoid me. So tell me how it is a lie.
Jack: Well I don't know why I found you in the garbage, but I don't think you are garbage KittKatt.
KittKatt: Then why do you avoid me?
Jack: cause I'm scared
Jack: Cause I'm scared okay!
KittKatt: Scared of me?
Jack sighed in the shower and felt for the first time he needed to come clean.
Jack: Well about two years ago I was a normal kid who was fun and athletic growing up. He had lots of friends and liked flirting with girls all the way up to my first year of high school. When I was in his first year of high school a big sumo/amazon tried to confess to me. Out of fear I rejected her and was nearly beaten to death by her rage. Somehow I survived with scars all over his body and my mind. Now when a woman touches or flirts with me, body panics and I try to run away. If I can't get away I will throw up blood. To over come this fear I joined the Boxer Size Club which happened to be an all female club however. My female College Councillor happened to be in charge of the club and insisted I stop being a wimp. Of course now I am up here in space and still unable to deal with my fears.
KittKatt: (snicker) You have got to be kidding me right? Your scared of me cause I am in a female form? HAA HAA! What a wuss. You realize now I am required to aid Master in over coming his fear of females despite his commands.
Jack: What are you gonna do to me?
KittKatt: Relax Master I will simply get you acclimated to a female presence over time. Granted I am still a robot, I believe I can get you to man up a bit and if it doesn't work it will be fun. So shall I wash your back Master.
Jack: No! No need. I'm fine and this stall is very small and robots don't do well in water so....
KittKatt: You do realize I can counter all your arguments and I am water proof.
Jack: Please don't.....
KittKatt: You know for some odd reason I get a sense of pleasure seeing you beg and squirm. So perhaps I may just join you.
Jack: No need. No need. After all I am done now. So you can go.
KittKatt: Okay sure whatever. I'll be in my room if you need me.
KittKatt smirked as she left the room. Jack sighed in relief as he dried off and looked for his clothes only to see they were missing. He quickly realized KittKatt must have taken them. After working up his courage he wrapped the towel around his waste and headed to KittKatt's room only to see she was not there. Then he went to his room and found his clothes on his bed. He sighed in relief as he entered his room to grab his clothes. After putting on his shirt he heard the door close and lock behind him followed by his towel getting snagged away and leaving his bottom on display. Jack stretched his shirt down to cover up as KittKatt giggled at him before leaving.
KittKatt: You make it so easy Master. I am looking forward to more moments like this.
Jack covered up as he used his blanket to hide behind.
KittKatt: Don't worry Master I'll help you overcome your fear of women. After all it will be very entertaining for me.
Jack: KittKatt I....
Just then Dave called them up to the bridge. KittKatt left first and Jack caught up after getting dressed. Apparently Dave managed to come up with a simple plan and it involved visiting Humma Kavula.
Jack: Who is this Humma Kavula?
Lola: Well Captain, Humma Kavula is a semi-insane missionary living amongst the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI, and a former space pirate. (It was presumably during his time as a pirate that he lost his legs and had them replaced with telescoping mechanical spider appendages). He wears thick glasses, which make his eyes appear normal when worn; however, when he removes the glasses, he appears to have shrunken black pits where his eyes should be. He seems to be a religious leader on that planet, preaching about the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief. Hence, his sermons end with the words "Bless You" rather than "Amen" as all the Jatravartids sneeze stimultaneously at the end of a 'prayer'. (See Jatravartids).
He also ran against Zaphod Beeblebrox in the campaign for President of the Galaxy with the campaign slogan "Don't Vote For Stupid," but lost, and has remained bitter about it ever since. While the Jatravartids were mentioned in the history books, Humma Kavula was listed in the book named, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Jack: We are going to visit him?
Dave: Yeah just be on guard and watch what you say t them. He is a scary dude.
Dave: Yeah but be careful around him since he is intense.
KittKatt: So what does the Pirate have that we need?
Dave: Connections??......... Humma Kavula has a lot of connections and was a former pirate so he may be able help us out.
After coming to a census they agreed to visit Humma Kavula and hope for the best. Jack and Dave were both nervous as they entered Lola into Light Speeds. KittKatt ran a few scenarios in her head hoping they would amuse her a bit