Lost Ones

"I'm your lifemate," Michael said, "and because I need you."

"and what about my needs? huh? I needed to stay in the shower but you denied me that....why should I care what you need " she said pouting

"Because you also need me," Michael said, kissing her neck. "If you really need a shower, then I shall join you."

She sighed "why are you doing this? why are you being this way? what happened to the scared boy who did what he did to me" she said looking away from him

"He's still there," Michael said. "That's why I still have clothes on. I have yet to actually be reprimanded by you. You have given me everything else, but what you need to do. I've seen it in your mind, the need to..."

She punched him hard in the face, making him drop her, lucky she landed on her feet "Why! why would you do it?! being scared is no excuse for raping me and changing my life forever! you knew my family! how am I suppose to go back with them now?! I cant be in the sun I wont eat.....you....you have ruined my life! I didnt even have time to prepare.....to feel the sun one last time....I hate you for doing what you did because it could have been different! there was no need to rush it and I should have been given a choice! and you took that away from me" she wrapping her robe around her

Michael shook his head, set his nose, and stood up, wiping the blood from his face. "I'll admit, that hurt more than I thought it would." He looked at her. "I'll also admit that all that you have said is true. I was afraid. I feared that my brothers would keep us apart, but not because you were human," he sat down, "but because I'm not good enough. I thought that if I completed the binding ritual, essentially marrying us, that they would leave you and me alone. But that was the coward's way out. They always tell me what I do wrong and it got to me. When I found you, the depression hit so hard, I didn't think about what you needed. There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. My weakness has changed you for all time. So, hit me, yell at me, do anything to make yourself feel better. But the one thing I can't give you is the freedom you want from our relationship."

She glared at him "then what can you give me? because what I really want is the time you took away from me....and since we both know that cant happen tell me...what can you give me Micheal?" she said unable to hide the pain in her tone

------

Jennifer gave him a small smiled. "You paint a happy picture, Marcus. I wish that Juliette could have had her son longer." She hid her face and her fear in his chest. "There was so much pain coming from her. You have more faith in my strength than I do."

"would you like to wait little one? I do not mind waiting to have a family with you" he said softly.

Jennifer nodded. "Can we go to her now? She needs me."

He needed and dressed them both and opened the earth

Jennifer ran to Julietta but stopped short. Her friend needed her, but Jennifer didn't know what to do.

Marcus placed his hand on her shoulder "She needs time little one" he said softly

"Will she ever recover?" Jennifer asked, fearing the answer.

"that will be up to her little one, but we as her people will do all we can to support her in her time of grieving" he said softly "lets feed and give her time with her mother"
-----

Desari had to go to her daughter, bring her back, "My baby girl, I know you are in pain. There is no pain like what you are feeling." She looked at Julian, tears welling up at the memory she was about to conjure up for the both of them. "You were supposed to be a twin, like your father. Your father fought to save you and sister, his pain so severe that even the leopards screamed. He only managed to save you, but only just. Your sister, Jessica... she could stay with us. Just like you, I denied her death, did everything humanly in my power and used everything my Carpathian abilities had to offer, but I could not bring her back." She began shaking. "I wanted to scream at fate for taking Jessica from me. It was the first time I ever questioned God. Your father had to heal me as he is doing to you. For three months, I could not feel the music inside me. It was as if I had died with her. I stayed in the ground for long periods, took the form of a leopard unless I had to care for you, rarely fed. The pain... it won't leave you, but there is hope. What changed after three months was you. You stood up next to the bench I laid on as a cat looked at me. I was so happy at what you accomplished, I learned to love and hope again. You did that. Let Rodger be your hope again. Don't shut yourself off from us. Syndil has lost a child, learning about him before he was born, only to lose him. Please, talk to us, come back to us. We share your pain as well. All of us know what it's like to lose someone so precious, and the pain that's all consuming. Please, come back."

Julietta stopped her fathers hands before he could finish fully healing her and turned over "If you don't let me finish it will scar Julietta.." he said in a tone only Desari would know meant he was hiding a lot of pain

Desari put a hand on her lifemate's shoulder, "I stopped you too, remember?" The men left, save for Rodger and Julian. Desari opened her shirt and took down the illusion. Her chest, neck, and arms were burnt, faded but still there. "I know only we can see it, but I still hide the pain from strangers. It is not a pain we can share with those that do not understand. I look in the mirror, and remember. Around our people, it is okay. Every Carpathian shares our lose, Julietta. You are not alone." Syndil and Corrine hugged the Desari shaking, sensing her grief. "We can't hide from the pain. We must grieve, Julietta." She held out her hand. "Together."

There was nothing but silence as she laid on her side, her back to everyone. Slowly she began to move, she slowly got up, the look on her face was like she didnt notice anyone around her but was merely a empty broken doll walking. She slowly made her way towards the RV door and stepped out, Juilan had to stop Desari from going after her. Tears slowly rolled down her face as she made her way over to where her sons crib had been, there she laid down and curled up, hugging her knees to her.

"I don't know what to do," said Rodger. "I can't bring her back. She denied was our son's father because I didn't help conceive him, and she refuses aid. For once, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

Suddenly they would hear Julietta start humming, Desari when recognize the tune as the lullaby that she sang to her when she was young

Desari went to her daughter and held her, humming with her.

"Shift," said Desari. "Become your cat. It's alright. You won't have to... live through the memories that way. Do it. Rodger will protect you, as will I and your father."

She hummed for a few more minutes before her form started to shift and she was lost to them in her own world. The beast laid unmoving for a moment before it got up and ran off into the woods

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