Wake Up 4

It was not long before Victoria started screaming, her screams echoed all the rooms in the infirmary, scaring a lot of the student's that were there, her body fought hard but she lacked the will to live and her body soon started to reject the change

Desaray took hold of Victoria's spirit and said, You are letting them win! Is that what you want?! You are letting the person that rape you win! He will know that he destroyed you because you couldn't get him out of your mind! Show him that you are stronger than him, that what he did will only make you stronger!

But her words were only met with silence. Then, Desaray felt another presence. It felt male and Desaray wanted to put a barrier up, but she needed help.

Victoria, I saw the picture you drew, of the day we met, Jacob said. Your beauty shown through it. He will never take that from you. He may have taken your innocence when he forced himself on you, but that is all. Do not let him take your life. Wherever you go, I will follow. I cannot be in a world without you. Come back. I will not hold you to any promise. You will not have to wait a month to see if we will work out. I will stay away from you, because that is what you want. I will not claim you, because you do not wish to be my lifemate. The only thing I will do is keep Michael away from you, and help the hunters locate him and his followers. I'll dim the memory of what happened if that is your wish so that you can live. Because that is all I ask of you, that you live.

It's too much.....I'm always trapped...trapped by something I can never escape from.....loneliness....ever since I can remember I've been alone.....any sign of affection was a way to control me memories formed in his mind of her parents shunning her, only showing her affection when she did what they asked I can't escape it......I care not anymore about what happened to me....Im just tired....Tired of being trapped.....you asked me once why I pretend to care for those people...I had to learn the hard way its better to lonely in a group then be an outcast she said and another memory came to his head of kids throwing garbage at her, saying cruel things like even her parents didn't want her, that she didn't belong When you told me you were my lifemate I panicked.....I thought......like everyone else you would want something from me that I could not give......that I wouldn't be good enough and you wouldn't accept me, that you were only saying those nice things because you needed something from me......it turns out I was right, everything you said while I was in the cabin....just like everyone else you saw what you wanted to see....not the real me but thats just as much as my fault as it is yours....it doesn't matter now...I'm tired of pretending.....For what its worth....I won't pretend...at least for this moment memories started playing in his head, all the memories of their time together, except they were different, instead they where what she really wanted to do and say, the first day they met she would have stopped the fight soon and called them bullies for what they did, she would have walked him to the infirmary and would have made stupid jokes to try aand cheer him up, in the garden things would have been different, she would haave laughed more and smiled more, when he showed her the play she wouldnt have hidden the blush that came to her face, she would have shown her excitment for it
For what its worth.....I really didnt know what they were up too...if I did.....I tried to get them away from you....thats what set him off...I told him I slept with you...I thought that would make him bring me to where you were....that way I could help you more...But it didnt work.....im sorry

Jacob took a firm hold on her and said, I said those things because you kept pushing me away! I thought you wanted me to just go away and it would make you happy! I refused to fully merge my mind with you, to see the extent of your pain because I thought... you didn't care for me. I failed to protect someone I viewed as a sister and I thought you could see I was a failure. If I hadn't heard your scream and smelled your blood, I wouldn't have known you were in trouble. I only wanted you, Victoria. I don't want you for your talents, or your beauty, or what you might be able to do for me. I want you. I said I would give you up if it will make you happy, and I mean that. But you will have to live. I will follow you if you choose to go into the next life. All I want is for you to live, to be in the world. Then, I will know that there is beauty still in this world. Please, exist.

How can you say such things....we have only just met....of course we dont know each other well....How could I see you as a failure when I only just met you? why die for someone you just met ...it makes no sense...your kind makes no sense....thats why I dont like them....you talk and act has if......as if its so simple.....knowing there is someone made for you....that one day you will have tis unbreakable body and be loved so dearly....it must be comforting....but for normal people like me....who did not have such comforting thoughts....its hell.....Im scared.....Im scared you only like me because its what you have been raised to know....to believe....that's the only way you can explain it....you cant fall in love at first sight or anything else your kind does...its nat nature and its scary.....i mean what if you really did fall in love with me the moment you meant me and I really was a vampire/Carpathian hater and killer, doesnt that scare you!

No, he said in all honesty. Before meeting you, I was scared I would never find a lifemate, that I would chose to lose my honor and become a vampire. Now, I only fear losing you. In the short time I've known you, I learned you are smart, resourceful, courageous, kind, and talented. But the one thing you are above all that is strong. And do you think it was love at first sight? No! It was shock, it was awe... it was a fist to the face. I mean, I was getting beat up for tripping. But you were there, you lit up the world. And all you had to do was exist. I love you now, because I see you. I see your strength, strength I wish I had.

He would feel her soul slipping I have no more strength left....all my strength went to existing...not living....now I do not want to even exsist....hey....can you smell it? the flowers by the oak tree in te garden?

Jacob started crying and said, Victoria, please. I need you to live. What can I do so that you will live? I'll do anything. Please.

There was nothing but silence for what seemed like an eternity

Did they give me the blood exchanges? if I come back will I be like you?

He answered, Desaray did.

Desaray spoke up then. I will be caring for you. I won't let anyone make you do anything you don't want. All you have to do is come back. When your conversion is finished, you will be Carpathian. You can be a healer, or a hunter, or anything you want. I saw your drawings. You can be an artist and I can teach you safeguards that bring certain emotions come to life for the viewer and protects the household. You don't have to be anyone but you. You don't owe anyone anything. You were a strong woman before. Be a strong Carpathian woman now.

Im scared....I heard stories about how painful it is...I....I dont want to be alone...I dont want to be in pain....I... But she didnt get to finish, her soul slammed back into her body and she arched on the bed, the pain hitting her all at once was enough to send her almost falling off the bed as she cried out, sweat coated her whole body, she was still so pale and sick looking and now she wass going craazy with pain, her body convulsing, she gripped the bed so hard the sound of her fractured and hand breaking echoed the room "Make it stop! please! makke it stop!"

Jacob walked into the room on unsteady legs, but determination on his face. He picked her up and held her to him, taking on as much of the pain as he could. He instantly began sweating blood, he could barely breath, and blood red tears fell endlessly. Yet, Desaray did nothing. She was too shocked. Jacob did the impossible. He took on so much pain from Victoria, she would feel as if the conversion was nothing but period cramps. When the wave subsided in her, he look down at her with a smile. A genuine smile. He was going through hell for her, with her, and yet he smiled as if it was nothing but a stubbed toe. He smoothed her sweat soaked hair, keeping it from her face.

"See?" he said breathlessly. "You are a strong woman."

Her body was shaking and she was too weak to move, between the lack of blood and all the pain she had been in before he shouldered it she passed out right there in his arms, her fist clenching his shirt and the other is arm

Jake continued to shoulder her pain waiting until it was safe for her to ground. Since she was already in the Carpathian sleep it was easy enough to do. When he saw she was safe, not in the ground but in her bed covered in dirt, he fell to the floor, his wounds reopened. Desaray sighed and healed his wounds again before putting him in his own bed with a dirt blanket.

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