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Jacob returned to the infirmary and sat on the bed next to Natasha. He put his head in his hands. He felt as if she were gone. Zandar returned to update him, but Jacob didn't hear his uncle's words. Desaray was actually concerned for him a little. He was acting like a woman who just lost everything. She left blood on the table next to him, but he refused to drink it.

Natasha looked at him and waited til they were alone "jacob its ok...you said she didnt want you anyways...why care if she is gone....I want you" she said softly, touching his shoulder

He looked at her and said, "It isn't easy to explain. Maybe... maybe I wanted a reason to keep going and latched on to her. I mean, I haven't lost my emotions or colors yet. Did I... make a mistake?"

"what do you mean? I thought you said she was...um what was it...oh! your lifemate...but if she was....then why did you ...you know...with me?" she said still touching him

"I shouldn't have wanted to touch you romantically in anyway," he said. "That's what's got me so confused. I don't understand any of this." He looked at her with hopeless eyes. "Can you help me?"

" I can try...you said you shouldnt have wanted to touch me...well touch me now...." she said sitting beside him "if...you want to them...that means she is not your lifemate right?" she asked innocently

"Yes... no... maybe... I don't know! I'm so mixed up right now, I don't know anything!" He sat up. "Let's try it."

He caressed her cheek. He felt something, but it was dim. He decided he needed to do something more. He kissed her.

She kissed him back, placing her hands on his shoulders

He pulled her close. He hands ran over her. He needed something, but he couldn't think of what.

"Natasha," he said, his voice husky, but worried.

"its ok...you said you were my protector...well let me protect you now" she said and kissed him again this time more deeply

He gave in. It was too much. Everything with Victoria and now this. He had to do something. He pinned Natasha to the bed and thought their clothes away.

"Are you sure?" he asked, positioning himself.

"yes...I want to help you" she said in a soft tone "but we will have to be quiet..."she said wanting him so bad

Jacob surged forward, ecstasy hitting him hard. He had to move his hips. He had to get deeper. He kissed her neck, going down to suckle her breasts.

"I never knew it could feel this good," he said against her heated skin.

He would have the urge to cover her mouth as she began to moan, her body arching beneath him, he would want to go deeper and faster, he would want to tell her more about how good it felt

He kissed her deeply, needing to taste her as he picked up the pace. He had to pull back so he could breath. He threw back his head.

"You're so tight!" he gasped. "God, I don't want to stop!" He felt himself growing, felt her squeeze around him. "I'm about to come. Oh, Victoria!"

The first thing that popped in Nats head when he said her name was the girls face when she had dropped the bottle catching them the first time, her heart sank alittle when he cried out her name

Jacob saw Victoria's pained face. He gasped and moved away, his seed covering Natasha's body.

"I-I'm sorry!" he said. "I don't know what came over me! I just..."

Nat slowly sat up "thats...um ok...I mean at least now we know who is on your mind right" she said unable to hide the pain in her voice "um...I dont know where my clothes went" she said looking away from him and covering herself with a sheet

He clothed them both with a thought and said, "Still, it wasn't right. I was... and I said..." He shook his head. "No, this is wrong. If I can touch you romantically, I shouldn't say another woman's name. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I wanted it too..its ok...but...even if you said her name you still touched me...does that mean she is not your lifemate?"

"I..." he looked at her. "I guess she isn't my lifemate, is she? Maybe... you are?" He looked at her. "I can't claim you completely yet. I want to be reliable, dependable, and I'm not right now. Do you think... would you be willing to wait for me to say the binding words? We can still make love if you want."

"do you really want me? I mean you did...say her name" she said looking away from him, the urge to comfort her and let her know he wanted her was beating at him

He pulled her close to him and said, "Of course I do! The stress of everything just got the better of me. I want you, Natasha. You and no one else."

"She smiled "this is weird right? I dont even know where I am or whats going on...so many strange things have happened..yet I liked you the moment I saw you" she said cuddling close to him

"Well, you have me," he said, smiling. "I'll guide you, help you through my crazy world. Well, on one condition." He made her look at him. "I get to keep you."

He kissed her deeply. He had to. One hand was on the back of her neck so he could feast on her sweet taste. The other drifted over her body.

She moaned happily against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, desire beating at her once more, she wanted him again but this time she only wanted him to think about her while they were doing it

He willed their clothes away again. He laid her on the bed, blanketing her with his body, using his knee to open her up to him. He entered her as he kissed her neck. He moved with long, sure strokes.

"I need you," he said. "God, I need you, Natasha."

She covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she began to moan, her legs wrapping around his waist so he could go deeper, She wanted him to make love to her like he would with his so called lifemate

He nibbled on her neck, using his tongue to ease the pain, then his teeth sank in deep. He took in her essence as he took her body. He closed the pin pricks, leaving his mark for the world to see. He used a nail to cut open his chest.

"I need you to feed from me," he said. "I need to feel your mouth on me, take me into your body, your very veins."

This was new to her but it felt so good what he was doing so she did it for him, the sweet taste of him surprised him even more, she moaned against his chest wanting him even more now

After a moment, he stopped her from feeding, closing the wound. He kissed her deeply, his tongue sweeping into her mouth possessively. He began to move harder and deeper. He had to reach her very soul, where she could never get him out.

She cried out into her hand, it felt so good she felt like she was going to burst, she wanted to hear his voice, she wanted to hear him call out her name, telling her how much he liked her and wanted only her as he pounded into her

He threw back his head, saying, "I need you, Natasha! Like the blood in my veins, the air I breath! You are so tight, feel so amazing, I never want to leave the haven of your body!" He felt himself grow inside her. "I love you, Natasha!"

She came as he said that, her body arching beneath him taking him deeper, she wanted to feel him come all over her

He couldn't help it. He pulled out and covered her with his seed again. He had to hold himself up so he didn't crush her under his weight. He kissed her again.

"Strange," he said as he rolled to lay next to her. "It should be normal to just fill you with my seed. I mean, if we are lifemates, it's normal, natural." He smiled at her. "I bet you would look beautiful with my child growing inside of you. If you aren't ready, I can always prevent a pregnancy. No rush. Well, except the pleasurable rush of me filling you."

"you can prevent pregancy? how? because Im not ready to have a child...but I do like the thought of you cumming inside me" she said wiping herself off and turning to cuddle him

He cleaned her off and pulled her close to him. "It's simply a matter of putting a barrier around the egg." He waved a hand over her womb. "There. Now, any egg that may be inside of you will not be fertilized." He lifted an eye brow. "Do you want to go again? I can't seem to get enough of you."

"As long as you cum inside me this time" she said with a smile and rolling on top of him

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