Chaos at the Discorama! But really it's just a mall

Chekhov Shopping Center for Eternal Youth

<What was supposed to be a giant Blazing Wolfhound with eight magical tails was replaced by a small man in a tatted black Korean Kimono. With a coughing fit, the Man in the Wolf Mask had returned to normal. Even after that extreme damage to his skull, he could still speak in Korean.>

“Hmm, you aren’t nearly as impressive in this form, are you. Still, eight tails has to count for something, am I right?” Yvonne gave the Man In Wolf Mask a suggestive wink then moved aside so he could proceed to offer her his Korean thanks, though admittedly his kind words had an aggressive edge to them. Her delusions simply wouldn’t allow certain hurts to hit home. And she didn’t speak Korean.

“Your man skirt is all in shreds. We should totally do some shopping before we leave! I know the perfect place…. Bad form!” Wolf had just stabbed Amber’s doppelganger statue in the throat and that level of personal violence seemed way too excessive.

Like a terrible hurricane of pint-sized proportions, Mint Bell came at Man in Wolf Mask and latched onto him with her teeth. Most would have found the site disturbing or vile, but Yvonne was a wicked witch so she was overly amused by these antics.

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Yvonne clapped her hands together like a giddy child. “Oh she’s so cute! And evil. Look at those little chompers. Look at them Wolf. Are they sharp? I wonder if she’d fit in my handbag.” That little girl was talented; she could talk even while her teeth were wrapped around Wolf’s arm. Yvonne had never perfected any such trick of talking with her mouth full even with all her experimenting in college. #SophomoreDorms

<…And while thinking about all of this… it gave Amber Lessard amble time to appear behind you from the smoke, and aim a gun behind your head. "It's pay back time," Amber gleefully laughed as she created two pistols into her hand from a series of torn metal! The Bungaling Witch had been outsmarted! First the $30 product from Wal-Mart, and now this old-fashion diversion. Why didn’t she pay attention to evil school, about never letting the hero go behind your back to pinch your @ss. Why didn’t she stay awake in self-defense classes, just when the evil teacher was talking about ‘how to avoid being held at gunpoint by your own gun’. Why, why did she devote so much time ‘experimenting in college’ over learning to properly raising a form of defense….>

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Yvonne had not actually gone to any such school for evil-doers, though the cost of university tuition was a majorly wicked price to pay for what she actually learned. She was, however, very limber. Like Vegas burlesque dancer limber. They couldn’t teach you that in school. Burlesque was about cheeky seduction, so don't be afraid to smile, flirt, wink, and gasp! She was preparing to perform a tantalizing shimmy, quiver of the bosom followed by a glove peel when it occurred to her now might not be the best time to try and dance her way out of danger. “Oh F*ck.” Indeed Yvonne, F*ck indeed.

<Ender saw Amber and the group advancing forward. He rushed through the smoke and grabbed Mint Bell by the throat. " Don't move, or the girl can say hi to her cat friend." He pulled the picture out of his son. "I'll give her back if you bring him back to me, GOT IT?!" He walked over back to the witch, "Bring us back to HQ." He turned back to Amber, "You try something, she will be dead within a second, meet me at the burned orphanage, in the abandoned part of the city.">

Yvonne couldn’t imagine Ender was speaking to her, not with a tone like that. The two of them had, after all, went through the ordeals of initiation together with an awesome company photoshoot followed by a showcasing of some of her best Villian dance moves. They seemed to have gotten off on the right foot, but time out in the field was quickly wearing away any comraderie they’d built up on their walk over to the mall. As Yvonne already considered herself the most twisted Witch to walk the earth and her fond memories of sophomore year at college could attest to just how bendy she was, what could Ender’s dire comment mean? Then again, she did have two guns pointed at the back of her head and any distraction was a good distraction. “Uh, yeah, but no, that’s not happening. We can’t go back to HQ (she liked saying HQ, it sounded like they were spies or something) while The Laughing Agency’s agents are still running around like they own this place. And aren’t we supposed to be here investigating a darker threat to us all? Sexy forehead girl (Yvonne’s eyes went dreamy for just a moment) said something about a guide showing us how to iron and weigh ourselves on scales. Well, I already know how to iron; wrinkles aren’t allowed when fashion is happening. And I know my weight down to the pound, kilogram and inch.” She scrunched up her face, no that last part didn’t sound right at all. Moving on.

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And just like that the cat girl, Windsor Chapel was back on the scene and bowled Ender over. This all served as enough distraction for Yvonne to escape the clutches of the sharpshooting Amber. And now it was time for some more bubble magic….what’s that? Not yet? *drums fingers across the desk.

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The PA system and TV monitors gave a moment’s warning, but Yvonne was clueless all the same and despite the threat the lizards posed all she could think about for a moment was FASHION! “OOh those lizards would make an excellent pair of boots.” Then the lizard army was upon them and buckaroo Amber was laying down some serious street knowledge.

<"Hey, you guys and the wolf mask, I hate to say this but this isn't the time to be fighting each other," she spat out while firing, "These leather bags seriously want to kill everyone in their sights, we have to fight them together if we are to get out of this." She then glared at the Witch and the Demon, "Hear that? we'll be in trouble if they kill us right here right now." Amber backed up, making her way to Mint Bell, and hopefully Windsor. They seem to be on the right side of the law, but don't carry a firearm, so it was Amber's job to protect them as an aspiring policewoman!>

<Ender got up and easily pulled Windsor off, " Stop, that's just stupid." He turned around to see the flood of lizards, "What the nine!?" He turned to Yvonne, “Could you do a spell to, I don't know, make the lizards go the opposite direction!" He made a portal on the ground, this will take us to the roof of the mall, if you don't want to be crushed by a tsunami of lizards, jump in, Now!">

“Make the lizards go the other way?! Which way would that be?! They’re pouring in from every window, door and air vent. I don’t think the roof is going to be any safer and there’s certain to be tripping hazards up there. The old AC units are bound to be covered in tetanus and if you think I’m exposing THIS skin to the full ultraviolet rays of THAT noon day sun, well you can think again.” Yvonne saddled up to Amber bravely even though it may have looked like she was trying to hide behind her. And behind the little kid. And behind the cat girl….oooh la la the sexy cat girl. Focus Yvonne!

The witch shook her head to clear her thoughts. And… blank. It was alarmingly easy for Yvonne to clear her head of thought. In fact it was near impossible to keep a thought in there. “Uh… yeah okay Cowgirl, but I still owe you for your Walmart whammy back there. When this is over it’s not over. Whatever, you know what I mean. Now let’s make some magic!” Now it was time for bubbles!

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