Hello TV My Old FriendPosted by
Posted: Jul 11, 2018, 12:54am
“Oi. Puppy, you’re in my way. If you don’t want me to spray you with bleach by accident, move.”
Anubis. Lord of the Nether and the Keeper of the Lost Souls, you see a shadow loom over you. Honestly, if you were back to your former glory, surely you would be the one to cast shadow on a nation just by showing up at their front porch.
However, due to the modernization of society, the popularization of turning Ancient Egyptian relgions into nothing more than fantasy heroes and villains, and the rise of Christianity and Catholicism, it was very difficult to use enough mana to just keep yourself from looking like a Chibi version of yourself.
After reading your tragic back story, having gold-diggers get the advantage of you, it would make sense why you would be bitter and rely on the bottle to numb your pain.
Yet somehow, you made it all the way from the depths of Egypt to somewhere in the world that was in between Washington D.C. and Hammelburg, Germany (exact coordinates unknown). That’s very brave for a recovering alcoholic.
So what better way to greet you with someone who could be as strong as you, if not sour looking.
… You may know him. You may not. But upon hearing the tapping of a cane… you might trigger some memories.
“I seriously can’t stand pets. They leave behind a ridiculous amount of fur and cleaning up after them requires more than the standard sanitation equipment that a household could afford. Tch. Even full on radiation sterilization kit wouldn’t cut it.”
There was a young man, tall, thin, and had a natural scowl on his face. Under the hot sun, he had sharp white hair, a sharp white shirt, sharp white pants… and for some reasons, he had a pair of white snowboarding shoes.
He looked healthy, to an extent, but doesn’t appear to be crippled in a freak accident.
Yet he supported himself with a shield cane in one hand.
His other hand, carried a bucket full of cleaning supplies and a pair of rubber gloves.
His name was—
“I’m not a charitable person. But I have no choice when that little brat who won’t give up her headphones grovelled on her knees and beg me to help keep this sorry excuse for a fire station clean… Tch. Honestly, I should be more cold-hearted to crybabies like her.”
The man in white then gave you a look, Lord Anubis. He looked down on you, not arrogantly but physically.
“I said move aside, or I’ll LOLROFL-copter you myself with my Geysers.”
--ONE-WAY ROAD. First name: ONE-WAY. Last name: ROAD.
"Honestly. Why the h*ll was I on call for a place like this... Tch."
Anubis looked at the young arrogant kid and shook his head as he moved aside to what appeared to be the waiting room minus the chairs of course. Seeing as he had nowhere to sit and he didn't know how long he would have to wait, he scratched his head and thought for a bit as he heard the grumpy OneWay in the background going on about animal fur. In the past Anubis would have just buried the kid in the sand, but a long life secluded along with diminished powers altered his perspective on life as he became more tolerant of humans and their small minds. Then he got a new idea on how to make his long wait less painful. Anubis found the corner of the waiting room and used a small spell to clean a ten foot cubic area from the corner of the spot he picked. Then he took off his pyramid medallion and put it in the corner before casting a small spell to turn the medallion to a 3 cubic foot mini pyramid. Anubis was pretty proud of himself till he realized the entrance was facing the wrong direction and against the wall now.
Anubis: (In Egyptian language) You got to be kidding me. I am even sober this time.
Anubis then turned the mini pyramid back to a medallion and walked up to it to turn it to face the correct way. Then he cast the spell again and the medallion turned back into the mini pyramid again. Since it was only 3 feet tall, 3 feet wide and 3 feet long, it didn't take up that much room. Again he ignored the ranting of OneWay going on about Anubis making the room dirty despite using his cleaning spell to clean a good ten feet around the mini pyramid. Then Anubis ignored OneWay as he crawled into the hole of the pyramid.
Once inside Anubis then stretched a bit and looked in his cabinet for some food and only found a case of mead he stole during his journeys from Egypt to Germany. Sadly he was out of food which irked him a bit. After grabbing a bottle of mead he headed to his bedroom. It still irked him since his home was very empty now after being robbed by several sexy tomb raiders posing as archeologist. If he ever found them again he had plans of enslaving them and turning them into maids. Luckily they left his bed and the mirror in front of it since it was fixed to the wall permanently. Anubis sat on his bed and sipped his mead as he waved his hand to turn on his magic mirror. Since he no longer used it as way of communicating with the other deities, he used it to pick up satellite tv. Using a hidden soul gem to power the pyramid he didn't have to worry about power or lights. He waved his hand and saw a lot of crappy shows.
Bad Talk Shows
The Oxygen Network
Bad Horror Movies
Silly Love Shows
The Animal Channel
Kung Fu Theater
Home Shopping Network
The Music Channel
After flipping through the channels a bit he found one worth watching. He had grown fond of the cooking channel since he didn't out much. Having to guard a sacred temple got old after the first thousand years and mind bogglingly boring after three thousand years. He was going mad with boredom and loneliness on a daily basis. After the discover of tv he was finally able to get pass the day with his mind in tact. If anyone thinks they can handle three millennia of boredom of playing solitaire and single person chess and checkers, they are sorely mistaken. So now Anubis was reduced to drinking stolen mead while laying on his bed and watching the Cooking Channel as he waited for the Boss to come back and interview. Granted he could go talk to the kid outside, but he didn't want to deal with more unneeded drama. If he wanted drama he could watch the Oxygen Channel or Disney Tv.