OOC - The misadventures of Malloy Mixylpyxil

Along a road a traveling bard named malloy traveled. He was a puppeteer by trade its all he ever really had. Being half gnome and half goblin tends to get you shunned from alot of places. He was on his way to perform at a inn on the other side of the Darith Mts. He had just entered the swamp of Braganash a ugly ill tempered yet stupid ogre. As he was crossing a trecherous bog he spotted Braganash sleeping. Slowly Malloy crept past The sleeping beast when he heard a voice "hey what are you doing in my swamp." Quickly thinking malloy already had a plan to fool the dimwitted monster. "I sir am a inventor and a toy maker. i have all kinds of prototypes right here in my bag. May i show you this one." he pulls a toy soldier with a crossbow out of bag he winds it up and it begins to march towards Bragadash oh goody bragadash says it marches over towards him hits his leg amd falls over Braganash picks it up to look at it he winds it up the tog soldiers aims his crossbow at Braganash and shoots him in the nose. "Owww" bragadash says and he grabs Malloy "why you little sneak. Now I'm gonna have to eat you Bragadash goes over to a old pot and flips it over and fills it full of swamp water "im gonna make a stew out of you," He laughs. He ties malloy up with a vine and sets him down. Nrxt to him the ogre begin to build a fire rubbing two sticks together just as the fire starts Malloy blows it out. Hey cut that out. The ogre starts again and gets the fire going. "Any last requests" Bragadash asks. "Yes" Malloy says "I would love a cup of tea before you eat me" Malloy stands up and the ropes slide down off of him. "Wait I tied you up" Braganash says. You did it all wrong Malloy tells him. "You gotta do it like this" Malloy quickly runs the vine around the ogres arms and now he is tied up. And now for my next trick Malloy says Aaaaah Braganash screams and snaps the ropes. Hold up big guy i havent had my tea yet he pulls a rolled up cloth and unrolls it and it has a tea setup in it. He pulls out several puppets who begin serving tea. It comes over and puts two cubes of sugar in Malloys cup. The pulpet walks over to the ogre and Malloy asks "how many lumps do you want big guy. " Give me two Bragadash says and no sooner had he said it the puppet floats up to where bragadash is holding his cup. It pulls out a hammer and hits Bragadash over the head twice.
And two large knots grow on each side of his head. Malloy runs. Into his bag while the ogre recovers. When he gets up he says "I'm gonna eat that little goblin. Where did he go."
He hears a whistle and next to the tree Malloy has a ogre puppet dressed like a girl ogre. Bragadash lets out a cat call whistle and runs over to her. He lays his best line on her and asks for a kiss. "Do you want it Malloy ask." In a girl voice. Yeah let me have it Bragadash says making smooch face "Ok" he pulls out a shovel he was hiding behind his back andd smacks Bragadash incthe face andbhe goes down again. Malloy jumps out of the puppet and puts it back in the bag. "Well pal i got a performance to get to its been fun warming up on you. He grabs his bag and begins to cross the swamp knowing he still has to cross the mountains . to get to his performance tomorrow night.