While on a adventure Malloy was traveling tbrough the Misty Forest Averbore. Halfway through this 10 mile by 10 mile forest a fog rolled in. Being only 3 foot 5 inches Malloy was caught on the ground. Unable to see he clutched his lucky sack which carries everything due to there being a pocket deminsion in it.
Exhausted Malloy finds a stump to sit on to catch his breath. He sets his sack down. And pulls out his pouch and pipe. He ponders the sack as he puffs on his pipe.
He thinks back to a time when he was a younger man. It was just after he escaped the orphanage. He was traveling to the city of Xalthor to meet a tinkerer. He heard he invented a new type of puppet and malloy wanted to add one to his collection.
It was late at night and as Malloy walked down the road, he heard a strange sound like the whispers of children. He cut through some trees follwed and walked into four weird statues hidden by the grove of trees and in center is a stair case " this way a voice said from underground. Malloy pulls a torch out and conjures a flame to light it. He began down the stairs
The stairs lead to a long hallway with a room at the end. "This way" a voice says. He slowly walks down the hall sweeping the torch back and forth looking for traps. When he came to the room there was a round stone along the far wall but it glowed and glimmered "A calthar gate Malloy says as he examines the gate. "Please hurry" the voice says, "we need your help." Malloy walks up to the calthar gate, "well here goes nothing" Malloy walks through the gate.
On the other side was darkness and a void. "Where am I" malloy thought to himself. Suddenly as if to be answering his question a great voice says, "Malloy Mixlypxl I have been watching you for a long time waiting for the day we would meet.
"Who are you what do you want" Malloy asks. I am Clathcar. The daemon prince of meriment and debauchery.
A man steps out of the darkness. He looks like a dark elf male but with suddle differences. He wears a jesters costume. He is drinking mead from a bottle and has a lute on his back. He also appears slightly drunk. "I have waited for a long time for someone like you to come along."
I am in need of a champion to retrieve something for me" he continues. "I myself can only appear at my shrines or i would do it myself."
"My lord i would be happy to represent you malloy shows out of respect and fear. Malloy says. but what do you mean someone like me. "Why someone who loves to make others happy." Clathcar says. "The item was stolen from another shrine it is a goblet just like this one. I have one at all my shrines worshipers pay offering to me by filling my goblet and i in turn grant them boons." I have tracked it to a bandit hideout. Just a stones thrown away i can transport you there. Find my goblet and return it to me and i will grant you my blessing. Clathcar disappers and the darkness surrounds Malloy.
Malloy wakes up he hears the sound of revelry and sees smoke just over a hill. He slowly climbs the hill to see a abandoned fort full of men they seem to be having a party.
Malloy thinks for a minute on how he can sneak in. He gets a ideal he goes into his pack and pulls out a makeup kit and begins apply his clown makeup.
A while later the men who are celebrating a good haul, are still drinking and dividing up their plunder. They hear knock on the gate. They all grab thier weapons and rush to the gate. "Its a little clown a bandit shouts from the battlement. They open the gate to see Malloy juggling. "Go away clown" the bandit leader says. He starts to shut the gate. Wait another says he staggers over here little guy have a drink on me he pours the mead over Malloy's head. Actually its on you. The slam the gate closed. And begin partying again. Malloy now wet takes off his cap wrings it out. "Of course you realize this means war Malloy shouts. "Yeah what are you gonna do pipsqueak" the guy on the wall says they all begin laughing again.
A short while later, the bandits hear a knock at the gate. One of thw men climb up to the battlement. There is a box wrapped in paper with a big bow on it. The leader sends a lackey to go open it. Inside there was a box with a turn handle. Its a kids toy the bandit says he begins turning the handle
all around the mullberry bush the monkey chased the weasle the monkey thought it was all in fun. A clown that looks like Malloy pops out and hits him with a mallet. "Pop goes the weasle" It says. As it knocks the guy out. It then goes back into the box.
The leader sends another guy who is reluctant to turn the knob.
All around the mullberry bush the monkey chased the weasle the monkey thought it qas all in fun yet again the clown pops up clubs a guy. "Pop goes the weasle" he exclaims as he returns to the box.
This time the chief walks over but instead he grabs malloy desguised as the clown in a box.
Now i got you ya little bilge rat. Yipe malloy says. "Yeah yipe is right i think im gonna cut off your hands so you cant every perform again. Or maybe ill cut out your tounge. Wait Malloy says can i make a last request."
"What is it now" the bandit says.
"Can i have one last puff on my ole lucky pipe." Malloy asks.
"Aye said the Bandit leader one last smoke before we dispatch you for good" he says laughingly. "No tricks you ugly little beast or Ill gut you like a fish." Malloy walks over to his pack and pulls out his pouch he loads its. He conjures a small flame and lights his pipe. As malloy was puffing he slowly started to fade. "What the hell." The bandit leader exclaims, "get him." the bandits all run to grab Malloy, but it was too late Malloy disappears. "See ya later suckers" Malloy says as he turns etheral and begins running deeper into the fort.
"After him' the leader says, and all the bandits begin to chase him. They turn a corner and he is gone. They were about to keep going when one of the bandits notice a barrel in a group. slighty move. He walks over to the barrel and lifts the lid as he is looking in he notice that malloy is looking right at him from the next barrel over. He tries to grab him but Malloy ducks in. Then he lifts that lid. "Drats empty" the bandit says as Malloy pops out of another barrel "looking for me Malloy say." The bandit tries to grab him and misses and again Malloy ducks back into the barrel. "Why you little" the bandit mutters. This time bandit lifted up a different lid trying to trick Malloy. As he popped out of the basket the bandit grabbed him. "Gotcha you little gremlin." The pirate exclaims excitedly. "I sir am Gnoblin half gnome half goblin." Malloy begins to do a waving hand motion first he went up and down then side to side until it forced the bandits eyes to cross and Malloy used two fingers to poke the bandit in the eyes.
Meanwhile the three other bandits and their leader travel deeper into the forts. Interior.
"Wait here the leader" says to one of his lackeys. "If anybody comes through here," he moves his finger across his throat. They keep moving on and the one remaining keeps a eye out.
Malloy staying in the shadows uses a invisibility spell and sneaks up behind him and pulls down his pants. As he trys to creep away the spell loses effect.
"Why you" the robber tries to run after you. He falls flat on his face.
"Looks like you got caught with your pants down" Malloy gloats. "And now for my next trick." He waves his hand and the rope floats and ties him up. He drags him to the barrels and puts him inside.
Now there being only two guys left Malloy for malloy to dispatch he comes to a room divided into eight smaller rooms with a hallway of doors. "Hmm" Malloy says "I got an ideal" he says as he snapped his finger. He enchant s the doors quietly. He can can here the two men talking. He casts a illionary self spell. He opens one of the doors the closest to the entryway. "Yoo hoo you morons looking for me." The two guys run out of the room just in time to see malloy close the door behind him. Lets get him. As they enter the room the illusionary Malloy comes out a middle door on the left side and goes straight across the hall. The men run in there and the real Malloy come out of the far left room and goes straight across to the right room. the guys again run out and again run into a empty room. As they do the illusionary Malloy exits and this goes on for several minutes. Until the bandits get tired and pretend to enter the room that the real malloy goes in. The bandits wait between doors. The illusionary Malloy come out gotcha the lackey smacks the illusionary Malloy and it vanishes. A whistle peirces the hallway "I'm in here dum dums."
The bandits run and open the door malloy who is wearing a slip and is putting on a dress shrieks. " pardon us ma'am" they say as they shut the door quickly. We've been had the leader says open the room it is dark. "Go get a torch." The leader says. The other one runs down the hallway and grabs a torch. He comes back to the door it looks like something is in the bed covered up. They creep up slowly toward the bed. When they are right up on the bed, Malloy sits up real quickly "TURN OF THAT LIGHT" he shouts and blows out the torch. Dark malloy pulls a skillet out from under the covers and bashes them both on the head. Malloy relights the torch. While searching the bandits finds a weird key. He begins checking all the doors. "Nothing its gotta be here" Malloy says out loud." The far doors there is alcove. Malloy didn't notice it before. He goes over and begin to look around it. It looks like a statue of a man in robes with his hands low and extended out palms up and in both palms was a small hole. Where the robes buttons would be there were deep holes. He stands to the side of the left hand and puts the key in metal spikes came out missing Malloy and going back in.
He does the same thing on the right side but instead of spikes the statue pushes back and reveals a room full of treasure. Malloy loads up as much as he can carry. And finds the goblet.
"Excellent" the voice of clathcar says as Malloy exits the room. The statue returns to its original position. "You may keep the key" Clathcar says to Malloy. "if you ever find yourself here again you may help yourself to some of my tresure." "Now are you ready to return to my shrine." Clathcar asks Malloy. "Yes I think so" Malloy responds. And just as quickly he is back at the shrine.
Malloy pulls the goblet on the shrine and it begins to glow. "Ahh yes thank you mortal for your assistance" the disembodied voice says. "Now for your reward." A rock on nearby wall revealing a hollowed out area. "This is your reward." Its a sack malloy says confused. "Ahh but not just any sack, this sack is my legendary infinite sack." "It contains a pocket deminsion. That can hold anything and is almost impossible to fill. This. Is your reward. Take it and make merriment in my name."
The voice fades so malloy decides to try it he takes off his pack and sticks it into the sack and dissapears. "I'll be damned it works." "Now how do i get my backpack back" Malloy says. And just as he said it the backpack appears in his hand." He drops his pack back in the bag. Malloy suddenly stirs from his memory. "Wow" Malloy thought "what a crazy memory those bandits didn't know what hit em." He laughed the fog begins to thin and drift away i better get going Malloy hops off his stump picks up his bag and continues on his adventure through the forest. But those are tales for another day.