14 Carrot Gold (Part 7)

Patch tried his damnedest to get the teen to stop with her condiment onslaught long enough to try and talk sense into her, which would be an extra challenge given that he had no idea what the hell was going on! He quickly decided on the most artful response to defuse the situation. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!?" he bellowed. Masterful. A trained hostage negotiator couldn't have done better.

“Leave Patch alone!” She called, throwing the pepper shaker at him as she frantically searched the galley. What kind of beans did Onni say? She pulled down a tin of coffee “Made with the finest Arabica Beans.” That sounded like it! Fistfuls of coffee were thrown at the mechanic.

"Ow." Patch muttered in a deadpan tone as he was pelted various elements of the galley. "Ow." He repeated, unable to muster much more than the energy to say the words. "Please stop." he pleaded in a voice totally devoid of hope that she would comply. That is...until the coffee came out. The beautiful aroma of the ground coffee cut through the pain he was still feeling in his eyes and the absolute insanity that he unwittingly stumbled into. He jutted a finger at the girl and barked "HEY!! Not the coffee!" as one last handful hit him in his open mouth, the command he held in that moment, only undermined by the small spitting motions he made to eject the gritty grounds.

“That’s it, Patch!” Serena goaded. “You fight it! I’ll get a carrot!” Serena tore open the refrigerator door, grabbing any old carrot, because Patch wasn’t the type to put on heirs. “Look! “ She called holding it out. “I’m a carroty carrot, a sexy... uh..…. carrot with a nice personality!”

Vas dug his heels in and put his shoulder in to strong arm the door further open. “LIAR!! With our stupid sexy ‘carrot’ and dress up games! I'M NOT AN IDIOT! And I'm going to wring your gorram neck till you head POPS off!” He threatened. “NOW OPEN THE DOOR!”

“Now, now, now hold on! You wait a ruttin’ minute! First! I never have, never would, never even considered having sex with Serena! I mean, yeah, now I might have the image but that’s just because you put it in my head, and even still, she’s a child! What kind of sick sonuvabitch do you take me for? She was with Patch for rut’s sake. Second… open this door so I can wring your neck? Has anyone in the history of history taken you up on that? It was a joke, Rooster, an urban legend, the ghost with the golden arm! Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Then why is she running around dressing like a sexy rabbit seducing ghosts with a sexy gorram carrot and how the hell does she know you sleep NAKED!?!?” Vas hissed inching the door open further. “DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT PATCH LIKE THAT!” His fury winning him another inch.

The cacophony of the mutual screams echoed through the ship and in all the commotion, Patch was able to make out one thing from Tim and Vas's exchange near the cockpit. He gasped and looked at Serena wide eyed...or...as wide as his sore red eyes would permit him. "You slept with Tim??" he asked, his voice a mix of shock and disappointment.

Serena shook the carrot at him again and looked behind her. “Who slept with Tim?” She asked, now intrigued. Her money was on Anikah, or maybe Jackson.

< Prev : 14 Carrot Gold (Part 6) Next > : 14 Carrot Gold (Part 8)