14 Carrot Gold (Part 9)

“Call him off, Jago!” Tim called from the other side of the cockpit door.

“Hm.” Was all Jago said assessing the situation. Kinda reminded him of a piss off dog trying to get a piece of meat. “Someone care to explain the hell I am staring at?”

“He’s trying to kill me, apparently…. With a carrot.” Tim explained.

“Sumbitch bedded my sister!!” Vas raged, unrelenting in his quest to pop Tim’s head off like a daisy.

“I did NOT have relations with his sister.” Tim repeated.

“She knows you sleep naked and you've been seducing her with CARROTS!” Vas accused.

“I swear this borders on mildly entertaining. Borders. Unfortunately neither of you have crossed that border. First off, down boy. Now. Second, open the damn door and do not jump the pilot.” Jago warned.

Tim waited until the pressure on the other side of the door subsided before stepping away. “She knows I sleep naked because she asked about my pajamas when I was doing laundry,” Tim explained. “And the only person seduced with a carrot was you. I just put the notion in her head. As a joke.” He held up his hands defensively, just in case the pitbull decided to attack.

“Now I gotta know why the hell you thought it was a smart idea to antagonist, through his little sister, resident thug who clearly has anger management issues?” Jago asked.

“I do no-” Vas started indigent.

“If the shoe fits kid, now don’t interrupt.” Jago ordered.

“I didn’t antagonize.” Tim explained. “Urban legends… ghost stories… this is fourth grade stuff she missed out on. I was just adding to her childhood…. NOT taking it away!”

“Your going to straight up tell me you haven’t been poking the dragon with your games since take off?” Jago asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I may have told her that the water pump room was haunted.” Tim admitted. “C’mon, Jago. It was harmless fun.”

“Says the guy who was a hair's breadth from being turned into a human pretzel. No more antagonizing folk who can kill you ... and no more sex with my female deckhands, just in case.” He said with a dismissive wave.

“That means me and you are clear for sexy time,” Tim said, waggling his eyebrows at Vas, hoping to lighten the mood.

Vas snarled like an angry dog taking a step forward.

“Down boy.” Jago said sharply. “The hell I just say about antagonizing folk who can kill you? Don’t you have a ship to steer?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Tim agreed. “Lighten up, Spike. My intentions with your sister are strictly honorable. I think of her as my mei mei too. It’s a Gēgē’s job to haze young ‘ems.”

“I’m hearing a lot of talkie talkie and not and not any steery steery. How ‘bout next time I let the young ‘em get in a couple wacks.” Jago said with false innocence and he walked away motioning for Vas to follow.

“Some people have no sense of humor,” Tim lamented with a shake of his head. “Ship full of ‘em. Who’s got my golden arm - that’s a classic!”

“That's cuz I shot most of ‘em.” Jago declared waving for Vas to help Serena clean up her mess. Order now restored he hoped he would at least have peace for the rest of the day before space madness set into his crew again. He considered talking to the Doc about a tranq gun and making a Pro/Con list about it.

< Prev : 14 Carrot Gold (Part 8) Next > : Revenge is a Carrot Best Served in a Cocktail Dress and Heels ... (Part 1)