Revenge is a Carrot Best Served in a Cocktail Dress and Heels ... (Part 1)
“So, you’re sure you’re sure that you’re sure that you’re not possessed?” Serena asked, holding the dustpan steady while Vas swept up the coffee grounds and salt.
"Are you sure you and Tim didn’t go on and have weird sex with you and carrots?" Vas countered as he swept
“I don’t know what Tim does with carrots,” Serena said with disbelief, “but I know he didn’t have weird sex with me.” She dumped the pile of grounds in the trash.
Vas eyed her. “Are you not sure he had weird sex with you?”
Serena raised an eyebrow, confused. “I’m not sure he didn’t not have weird sex with me, if… that’s what you’re asking?”
Vas had inadvertently confused himself but he ran with it. “Okay … but if he so much as looks at you funny or … waves a slightly attractive vegetable at you. Let me know and I will
rip him apart.” He promised.
“He thinks I’m a kid,” Serena grumbled, . “Like Jago. I don’t think he’d try to seduce me with a vegetable. ‘Sides it wouldn’t work. I’m not a ghost. But thanks for looking out for me, Onni-San.”
"Did you … want Tim to seduce you. Cuz then I would still be obliged to punt him out the airlock. On principle." Vas pressed
“No. I mean, you couldn’t blame him, not really,” the teen said pragmatically. “I was a sexy bunny. I had a bowtie and everything. But I wouldn’t want him to on account of then you’d rip him apart an’ put ‘em in the airlock an’ then who would tell me all the important stuff, like about the guy with a hook for a hand and not turning on the lights?”
"Duh. I would." Vas said quickly. "I also don't know what is so sexy about a bunny and why Tim would be attracted to you dressed as a bunny. Unless that is what he likes. And if that's the case you should not dress as a bunny. Or if you do, you have to tell me. So I can beat Tim if he gets any inappropriate ideas."
“I’ll show you on the cortex,” Serena offered. “It’s like those books you read, only… mostly pictures.”
"I'm not into animals. Female or male. Or that thing where people dress up like animals." Vas explained.