Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word Part 1

Serena pressed her forehead to her knees, her arms wrapped around her shins. Just like Crew Chief said on the Skyhook. “Helpless,” she whispered, squinting her eyes closed tightly until bright lights and colors burned beneath the lids. All the crew, seemingly so genuine, stupid, she fell for it all, hook, line, sinker

Vas apparently was now a fireman putting out the shipwide bonfire. Jacy had taken on the personality of a cat and swiped hard at him and Serena and not two seconds later was all snuggles and kisses. He was still feeling the whiplash!

Serena now seemed to be taking it out on Doc for some reason the punk could NOT fathom. He arrived a bit too late to see her storming rounding the corner to be her quarters.

Before anything could be said with the good Doc, Vas put up his hand. “I’ll fill you in later … don’t you worry I got this.” He assured Doc padding after the newest Deckhand.

Vas approached the girl’s room like a big game hunter talking a raging elephant. It just seemed today all the women he typically dealt with had gunpowder in their blood and decided to explode all at the same time. In a show of respecting her space. He knocked on the girl’s door. “Serena?” He called out gently.

Serena drew tighter into a ball in the corner of her room. Time to face the music. “Crew Chief.” She said back, her voice cracking slightly in the middle.

“Can I come in?” He asked leaning against the wall next to her door. “You can say no …” He added. It may not have been obvious but it was his way of showing the kid some respect, by showing it was her space and giving her a choice.

Serena swallowed the lump in her throat, the one that threatened to choke the life from her, though at the moment that would be a welcome respite. “No,” she said tentatively, waiting for it - the admission that this was some sort of test that she failed, any second now he’d kick in the door and hell would be paid. Everyone would know what happened on the Skyhook and who she was and if she were lucky? She’d just get spaced. If she were unlucky? She’d get what she had coming. It wasn’t the doctor’s fault - it was her own. She was who she was, she did what she did, and no matter how she wanted it to be gone, there was no changing that. Waiting for it would be worse.

But no kick came, and though she’d said otherwise, she pulled herself to her feet, unlocking the door with an audible click. She needed to know what would happen, to get it over with. Worried eyes were cast in his direction as she opened the door slowly and stepped back to let the crew chief in. The fact that he let her make a decision spoke volumes to the teen, but her stomach still knotted up when she saw the rooster haired punk.

Vas stepped in. “So … I’m pretty sure half the crew heard you chewing out the Doc.” He said almost playfully.

She kept her eyes fixed on the floor, and leaned against the wall. “How much trouble am I in?”

“You ain’t in no trouble kid.” Vas assured her. “I dunno what accord you and the Doc had but I do know if Doc said you can trust him you can.” The punk added. “He’s more ‘n a good man and I’m more than sure whatever you told him he ain’t spilled the beans to no one … just an educated guess though you told him how the Skyhook went down?”

“No, I swear! I wouldn't, didn't tell anyone! I mean, not everything. Some of it, some of it he figured out on his own. He’s smart. And he said it was okay. And I wanted it to be. I want it to be.”

“Oh hey … don’t get twisted. Whatever you told the Doc, that’s tween you and him kay? Your reasons are your own. He ain’t in the habit of lying either.” The punk assured Serena. Yea that how highly the ex-clipper though of Doc. Pretty much the only person sucking oxygen he really thought of as a friend.

Serena scowled. The doc was the first person on the ship, the first person she could remember ever to be kind without asking anything back. “Why else was she…” the teen treaded lightly, cautiously selecting each word. “Like that?”

“Look I know … Jacy …” Vas said struggling to find the right way to say what he was thinking. “ … companions are scary.” He said with a sigh. “And sure most of the time she’s nice a bubbly so it easy to forget she knows how to read people better than most, so her making those leaps was bound to happen.” He reasoned. “I say that cuz I know Doc would never do that, he wouldn’t. Serena … he’s best the ‘Verse has to offer. I hate to see you lose out on that cuz of Jacy getting … defensive.”

“But he… I… and…” Serena mulled this over, twisting a finger around a loose lock of hair. Just because Jacy happened to bring it up didn’t mean it was the doctor that went and told her. It could have been just a coincidence, and the doctor held up his word on everything til that point. She let her shoulders drop. “I believe you,” she said quietly. “I know if you say it, it’s true. So if you say he didn’t say nothing, he didn’t say nothing. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I said what I said and I can't unsay it.”

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