How To Die Of Embarrassment

Serena took a quick, recalcitrant glance over towards the med bay after she and the Crew Chief had left Leo the passenger’s room. She’d been meaning to speak to Doctor Adler to tell him -- she wasn’t sure what yet, and until she figured it out, she avoided him. Him, Leo, Jacy, Crew Chief, the boat was getting smaller and smaller. She trailed after the crew chief who clutched a bunch of photographs he took from Leo’s room. As usual, it was near impossible to read him. He seemed happy in the room about finding them, and angry at the same time.

“Hey Crew Chief? Do you think the doc is busy? He’s probably busy, right?”

“I don’t know. He might? Could be playing cards with the widow or drinking with the Captain.” Vas shrugged

Serena balked. “He’s probably busy. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Kid it’s a ship you know as well as I do were always on the job. If you need to talk to him ask him. If he can he’ll make time for you or ask you to come back later.” Vas advised. “He don’t bite.” He joked.

Serena involuntarily shuddered. “I will, just… I think tomorrow is better.” She decided, trailing a little further behind.

Captain Keller stood over the sink, eyeing the drain with a perplexed look. Hearing bootsteps, he peered out from the galley to see two of his crew.

“Oh, hey….” He snapped his fingers a few times trying to remember.

“Rooster.” Serena said helpfully.

“Right, right, Rooster. Come here, I need your help a minute.”

“Sure …” Vas said passing Serena the pile of photos before walking up tot he captain. “ … sup Captain?”

“Sink seems to not be draining. Think you can take a look at it?”

“Me? I mean … I guess but I can get Marisol to fix it. She IS the engineer.” Vas reasoned.

“Don’t care who fixes it - as long as it’s fixed.” The Captain decided. “Pigtails, while you’re here--”

“Coming up, Captain!” Serena chirped, setting the photos down on the table to grab him a glass and a whiskey.

“Deckhand has a gift, just the right amount of liquor to ice -- What the..” Keller began, letting his eyes fall on the photos. He did a double take at the one on top. “Pigtails you best make that a double then make yourself scarce. And you,” he pointed to Vas sternly. “Sit down.”

Vas blink balked by the sudden change of tone. “Okay - um … I mean if you want ME to fix it that’s okay too.” Vas said taking a seat like he was told. “It was just a suggestion.” He added to his defense.

Serena set the glass down and scurried from the room. “Son, I give the crew a lot of leeway. A lot, mostly because you all do dumb shit.” The Captain began, pausing to take a sip. He picked up and leafed through the pile of photographs on the table, trying to be respectful. Marisol, Serena, the Lieutenant, the nun? Really? Sick puppy. “And I get it. Out in the black long periods of time, a man has needs now and again…. Now I know your companion friend is pretty fast and loose about nudity, and I ain’t complaining about that, at all, because that’s her choice. She wants people to look, I’m glad to oblige. But this?” He fanned out the stack in front of the crew chief. “Unacceptable, son. You can’t go around taking gorram pictures of people in the shower. It ain’t right.”

Vas couldn’t help but get redder and redder from embarrassment. “Captian! You got it all wrong!” He squeaked.

“I know this ship has got some women that’ll turn heads and ‘course it’s natural you think about ‘em, they stir something in you that you may not be used to but if the Lieutenant sees this? The next thing that’ll be clogging up that drain will be what you use to stir with if you catch my drift.”

“SWEET BUDDAH please stop! I didn’t take any of the photos!” He insisted. “Serena HELP ME!!” Vas implored now beet red.

“I’m gonna do you a favor and destroy these ‘fore anyone can see them. Now I got some magazines, few movies I’m more than happy to let you have if you need ‘em, for bunk use only but if this happens again --”

“Ah Captain WHY!?!” Vas said covering his face. This was a new form of torture Vas had never experienced and it was truly horrific. Burned forever in memory.

“You needed something, Crew Chief?” Serena asked from the doorway.

“Other than a hot Poker and Bleach! Yes! I didn’t take the photos I FOUND then helping Serena turn down Leo’s room and was reporting it to the Lieutenant!” He blurted out. “Back me up Serena! Tell him before he starts talking again!”

“Photos?” Serena asked, proud of herself for playing dumb just like Crew Chief said to. “What photos?”

Vas glared death at the poor girl. “Get. The. Lieutenant.” He said to Serena through gritted teeth. “Now.” Thrusting the photos in the poor girl's arms. Serena looked like a deer in the headlights, the lamb about to be slaughtered.

“That’s your play?” The Captain asked. “Send the 90 lb girl to the lion’s den with the naked photos of said lion?”

“Well, you could volunteer. Explain how Leo was snapping photos all creepy like of everyone, including me wet and nekkid … Oh lemme put this one on top.” Vas said dryly putting Riley’s soapy backside on top. “She might take it better if it came from you anyway.” He nodded.

The Captain thought for a moment. “You’re going to want to pretend to be interested in how complicated flying looks, Pigtails.” Keller offered. “She likes when someone notices how difficult her job is. That’ll help. Good luck.”

Serena looked between the Captain and the Crew Chief like one of the drogs who got caught knocking over the trash, except of course for Seven, Seven had no conscious. If she had a tail, it would have been tucked well between her legs as she nervously looked to the bridge.

Vas tried not to laugh as the poor kid mulled over her fate.” Tsk. I’ll do it. If I don’t walk back out I would like my ashes sent to Santos.” He joked. Fact was he had been sent by Lieutenant to investigate so he figured she would show him mercy for doing his job after all. He hoped. He was starting to have some doubt actually. Thanks, Captain.

“We’ll flush your ashes to space.” The Captain replied, finishing his drink. “Some of ‘em may land on Santos eventually.”

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