It's Not All About Q!


“Captain…? Zazi can you hear me?” Bolak called over the comm. There came a low groaning sound then a sharp snap and the signal died. He tried to hail the ship again but there was no response.

“Computer what is happening aboard the Endeavor?”


“Computer do we have any repair drones still active aboard the Endeavor?” he asked.


“Activate all available drones and run a diagnostic of data gathered from within the Endeavor.”


A sudden flash of light and a man appeared lounging on the arm of Bolaks chair. The Linnik almost jumped out of his skin as he flinched away from the intruder.

“What the..?” he blurted out the half formed question as the man chuckled. He was wearing a Star Fleet uniform and enough pips to make him an admiral of the fleet.

“Now, now my dear Bolak, after all you have been through I would have thought you were made of sterner stuff.” The man punched Bolak playfully on the arm.

Bolak scrambled down from his seat and glared up at the stranger, “Computer place a level seven stasis field around the intruder.”


There was a sharp crackle in the air as the stasis field took form around the man. “Oh you disappoint me Bolak. Only a level seven field to contain the power of the might Q? I would have expected at least a level twelve.”

Q clapped his hands and suddenly Bolak found himself stood within the stasis field while Q sat lounging in the Captains chair. He snapped his fingers and a glass of tranya appeared in his hand. To his surprise Bolak also found himself holding a glass which he eyed suspiciously. Could this really be the being known as Q? The First Federation had many records of their encounters with the continuum and none of them ended well.

“Oh do drink up.” Q encouraged as he sipped on his own blue beverage.

“Will you please tell me what is going on?” Bolak asked through gritted teeth.

“What, and spoil all the suspense?” Q asked, “Your toy computer should be done with its calculations right… about… now.”


“See.” Said Q brightly.

“Report findings.” Bolak snapped with a glare for the ever smug Q.


“Necrotic animation?” Bolak mused forgetting the source of his tranya for a moment as he sipped it with a furrowed brow.

“Zombies, my dear Bolak. Isn’t it delightful? The Endeavor is slowly being taken over by an army of flesh eating zombies!” Q cried.

“Computer begin transport of all live personnel from the Endeavor to the Fessarius.” Bolak called out in sudden panic.

“Belay that order.” Q countered with a casual wave of his hand.

“Whatever is happening over there I cannot just leave them to die.” Bolak yelled punching at the stasis field, causing it to fizz and crackle in response to his impotent rage.

“Oh don’t be so tiresome you sound like Picard.” Q yawned, “You are going over there to save them.”

“Why would I go over there?” Bolak demanded, “There are…”

“Zombies!” Q finished for him, “I need you to run a little errand for me and then you are free to save as many of your little friends as you see fit.”

“I am not your lackey!” Bolak growled.

“Oh do cheer up,” Q said, “Petulance does not become you.”

Q snapped his fingers and they were transported to Ten Forward aboard the Endeavor. The red alert Klaxon was sounding and in the distance screams and animal snarling could be heard. Bolak scrambled back from Q and looked around wildly considering his options. Q bowed low to meet the Linnik eye to eye. He held out his hand and in it he held a replica of the Nebula stone. Bolak groaned…

“You are going to deliver this to our dear friend Avakhon?” Q explained.

“And if I refuse?” Bolak asked.

“Then all transporters remain mysteriously offline and you and the crew are zombie food.” Q replied brightly.

“Fine.” Bolak snatched the stone and shoved it into his pocket, “But why? what is it?”

“Explanations are so tedious.” Q groaned as he sat down on a nearby chair, “Ok very well I will tell you, but you are only allowed three questions. Shake on it?” Bolak stared at the proffered hand as it were a snake but after a moment he reached out and Q joined him in a hearty handshake.

“It is an invitation to join the collective.” said Q.

“Good god why?” Bolak choked out the question.

Q laughed, “My dear Bolak I am neither a god, nor am I particularly good. I cannot tell you the trouble I have gotten into by pretending otherwise, but an excellent question.

Tell me… have you ever noticed that the Khinsharri has a knack of wrapping reality around himself? As soon as he enters a room, everything is all about him regardless of the previous facts?”

“Now you mention is yes.” Bolak admitted, “I have seen some quite unbelievable things.”

“Think of the Khinsharri as a Q with learning difficulties.” Q explained, “All that power and very little sense of how to use it. Able to sweep whole realities aside on a whim, destroying the hopes and dreams of millions.”

“It kind of sounds like you.” Bolak replied.

“Now that is just rude.” Q looked offended, “But also kind of the point. We intend to take him away to a quiet corner of the universe and educate him for a few centuries.”

“And if he refuses?” Bolak asked.

“An excellent second question,” Q replied as he pinched Bolaks cheek, “You are good at this. If he refuses then the crystal you hold will take away all of his powers leaving behind a very ordinary if somewhat egotistical Klingon. He will get to live out his days, or hours as the case may be just like the rest of you insignificant mortals. No hard feelings.”

“He won’t like that.” Bolak observed.

“I suspect not.” Q agreed, “Had a short stint as a mortal myself once. Horrible affair, never to be repeated.” He shuddered.

“Last question?” Bolak asked.

“Last question.” Q folded his arms and waited with interest.

“Why don’t you deliver it yourself?”

Q screwed up his face, clearly unwilling to answer. He shook his head and then gasped out a reply, “I can’t”

“That is not a proper answer.” Bolak pressed.

“Oh ok! Drat you little people and your whit, I expect you are good at riddles too?” He quipped.

“The answer Q?” said Bolak.

“I can not deliver it because if I do the Khinsharri will simply overpower me and rewrite reality in his favour. While you… you have shown some considerable resistance to his influence.” Q looked worried for a moment and he leaned forward. He clutched Bolaks hands in his own and appeared close to tears.

“Deliver the stone, save the universe. Even the smallest person can change the course of history.” He said with a dramatic air.

Bolak stepped back in disgust and pulled his hands free as a wide grin came over Qs face.

“Fine, I’ll do it, but you owe me a favour!” the Linnik snarled.

“Yes, yes a favour for a favor!” Q cried as he leapt to his feet. “You take care now!” he snapped his fingers and was gone.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it!” Bolak cursed as he made his way to the port exit.

“Oh and do try not to get eaten!” called the disembodied voice of Q as the door closed behind him.

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