The Devil you say?

“Q, I should have known. Same deal you offered Riker on the Enterprise a few years back, am I right? And he declined, so you went looking for someone else I see? And a genetically modified punning Klingon was as close as you could get to a Riker? THAT is funny Q! Trust me the irony is NOT lost on me!” and he looks at Q, his smile turning into a full-on the floor laughing spell.

Q looks at him rolling and laughing, gives a look of mild aggravation., then begins to see the irony himself, and starts a smirk of his own. “You know I had almost forgotten about that time! Shame as I was looking forward to torturing Riker myself as a student of the Q. Of course, for 500 years it would get monotonous anyways. NOW YOU would be a fun person to travel the galaxy with, sort of like Vash was with Picard. He was sooooo jealous of ME, and then her for DOING something that they both wanted to do. Avakhon gets back to his feet and says,

”WAIT? You’re serious? You have pulled some very weird tricks Q, but this takes the cake, and he snaps his fingers, a cake appears above Q’s head, then falls onto it covering him with it. As icing slides down his face, Q replies,

“How droll! If you can’t take me seriously, why even bother Avakhon. By the way, YOU will lose that vaunted NAME as well, along with your entourage of fish people. Can’t have races following you all over the galaxy proclaiming YOU as their Messiah now can we? What would the rest of the Continuum think? Being omnipotent isn’t the same as being omnipresent now is it?” and he snaps his fingers removing the cake. “Now what do you say, wanna hang around with these lowly life forms or be elevated to the highest form of life you can imagine?”

“Hmmmmm let me see. If memory serves me correct, there was an ancient Terran situation very similar to this one. A superior being, having been hailed as a Messiah, was offered to have the entire planet under his control IF he would but simply bow to someone very much like YOU as I recall. Three times he was pressed to give up his authority and turn it over. Three times he refused and the being that claimed to be superior to him could do nothing to him. Any chance that was a Q? I mean it was a couple of thousand years ago and the characteristics are similar enough.”

“You would have to bring THAT up wouldn’t you? I swear you mistake ONE simple God’s Son and they NEVER let you forget it! Well, I did try to get him to relinquish his powers to me, that much is true, but I never said anything about them hanging the poor man in a public display and slaying him. Besides, how would I know he could resurrect himself and come back from the dead? I figured once dead is dead right? Superior life forms DO NOT die! At least not so anyone who believes they are a deity can see !”

“I thought as much. So if I get the gist of this right, YOU claim that if I refuse your offer, I will be stripped of my special abilities and become mortal. I do have a few questions that you might find the answers to interesting. Wanna play a game?”

“AVAKHON! You wound me to the core! What are you talking about? Why would I even consider playing a game with YOU, to say nothing of anyone else?” and Q looks at the floor sheepishly.

“So I was right. YOU were the one who tempted the one they called Christ back then AND Kahless on Q’onos over a thousand years ago. NOW your here to try and tempt ME for the same reason. Grabbing God-like powers where you can! And I would just about bet that this STONE you’ve produced is in some way trying to siphon off that energy to use for your own benefit. There’s just ONE thing you’ve forgotten Q. . . . “

“So NOW you think to be equal to ME? Why I could snap my fingers and YOU wouldn’t exist at all! Now that I think of it, why DIDN’T I think of it before? Getting rid of the problem by making sure it never exists in the first place.” with this he snaps his fingers and POOF. . . . NOTHING happens. Avakhon is still standing there.

“IS there a problem Q? Seems like you’re having some technical difficulties more or less with your abilities, doesn’t it? MAYBE you should have asked the rules before you began playing the game Q?” and he begins to lean on the bulkhead nearest him for emphasis.

“I don’t understand this? This has NEVER happened to me before! GADS now I know how you lower life forms feel when things go wrong for you. Terrible feelings of deflation and ego breaking. GET RID of them! But, but, but . .. I CANNOT LOSE, I am a Q! How is this possible?”

“Ahhh the mysteries of the universe eh Q?” he snaps his fingers and a chair appears, with Q seated in it. It’s an old school desk and chair combination designed for a much smaller being and makes Q a very uncomfortable being.

“School is NOW open Q! So glad you could attend. Punctuality is a virtue! REMEMBER that!”And he once more snaps his fingers and Q is now one fourth the size he was previously.
“Now class let’s observe some very SIMPLE and easy to understand rules. Even simple enough for a Q!” and he watches as Q tries to say something but only garbled words come forth.

“ Sihje io m lium v oiumn unv Mij minimum. YOU can’t DO THIS TO ME!”

“FIRST RULE Q! NO backtalking the teacher when he’s trying to instruct you. The second rule is- YOU aren’t the teacher here. AND before you go getting all uppity, NEITHER am I! So IF you want answers to those questions I KNOW you’re just DYING to ask, sit back and SHUT UP! Agreed?” and he looks at Q, who is now more reserved and obviously more subdued.

“Good, now that we’ve settled that much, let’s get our instructor in here and start this class right. Sir, it’s time for you to appear and inform us of what’s going on here so we can learn how to get back to our own realities.” A bright flashing light and there’s an elderly looking wizened man standing before them.

“Avakhon, I have warned you many times about this sort of thing. Now look what you’ve done, you’ve gone and upset the Q. We have no quarrels with our brethren, so why initiate such matters now? Your use of those abilities was to be very discreet and unobserved whenever possible. I thought we made that perfectly clear over two hundred and fifty years ago when we met.”

Bowing his head, he replies,” YES sir, you did. And I won’t try to deny it, as I know it does no good, but I do have an explanation for you that might give you a better understanding of my situation. May I please explain myself?”

“Ohh very well, but this had better be VERY good, or we will do what we told you we would.” with this he folds his arms in anticipation of the explanation from Avakhon.

“To begin with sir, my apologies for bringing you forth like this, I know you don’t like to be exposed as such. I am also aware of MY position here in this realm, and that my responsibility is immense. I am to observe and maintain the relations between the Empire and the Federation. Whenever and wherever possible to keep them from fighting or exterminating each other as per the treaty agreed upon by both parties. YOUR interventions were required then and I believe they are now as well sir.”

“Proceed Avakhon, you have my undivided attention now.”

“Sir, as you well know the treaty in question was brought forth to stop a war that would have killed millions. And that the Captain, James T. Kirk, represented the Federation’s point as explorers and instruments of peace. The Empire’s point was argued for expansion to ensure the continuation of their rule. BOTH were brought to a standstill by you on that day when they entered the holy chambers. Since that day, WE of the Khinsharri have been diligent in maintaining the treaty. For this purpose you saw to our creation and for that reason do we serve.”

“Yes, yes yes. . . GET on with it Avakhon, this is becoming tedious”

“As you command my liege. When I heard that this ship was going to be heading into this nebula, I was concerned about the Stone being discovered and used by either side for purposes not intended…. And rightly so. It’s trying to be used to take from me that which YOU have given me my Lord.”

“I see. That’s serious indeed. You were right to inform me of this matter Avakhon.”

“And now I have Q here trying to make a deal with me for those very powers you granted me to do your will.”

“Serious indeed. What have you to say of this matter Q?”

“Why I’ve never! Just WHO are you and how are YOU able to negate MY powers? You mentioned brethren, but I don’t recall anyone even vaguely similar to a Q, let alone more powerful! Now I DEMAND you return me to my proper size and form!”

“Tut-tut Q, all in good time. The charges against you are quite serious, how would you plead?”

“CHARGES? AGAINST ME? What are you babbling about old man? HOW can YOU or anything else possibly be in a position to JUDGE ME? Why the Q Continuum is older than any other recorded entity and WE are omnipotent!”

“That may be true for now Q, but as you yourself stated not long ago to Avakhon, while you MAY be omnipotent, you ARE NOT omnipresent. WE ARE!” with this he begins to glow and becomes brighter and brighter until he is now filling the entire area and there is no way he cannot be seen. Even the Q is trying to shield his eyes from the glaring light. “ I trust you recognize me now Q?” comes the disembodied voice. Seeing this and hearing that voice, Q stands perfectly still.

“ It’s YOU, isn’t it? I knew sooner or later you would show up and demand retribution for my little ploy. Well I DIDN’T kill anyone, it was THEM, they killed your son! Take it up with humanity! I’ve already been cast out as a demonized son and I have no intention of being cast any further out.”

“We of Organia did not take issue with your actions in that time Q. WE are taking issue with your desire to remove our watchers from this realm and replace them with what? We have 5,000 Khinsharri all over the universe who are tending to matters on our behalf. DID you think to offer this same thing to them all? And exactly how were you planning on using the stone?”

“So you’re NOT Him, ok strike that. Organians did you say? Well, I DO recall something a few dozen millennia ago about a conference with your people, but that was so long ago, who could be expected to remember that? And as for the Khinsharri. . . Did you say over 5,000 of them? I don’t think the Continuum will go for that many new blood members in the group. We are somewhat elite and restricted in our members. I’m sure you understand why. Can’t have a bunch of Riff Raff mucking up the universe now can we?”

“Your babbling Q, and it is ill befitting a superior being, even one as lowly as yourself.” He makes a sound and the room returns to normal, and all are looking like themselves once more.

“No need to be Snarky about it Orgie old man, I was just about to leave, with your permission, and take whatever belongs to me with me. Coming Avakhon?: and he makes a grab for the stone.

“THAT is exactly what I meant sir, HE claims that I am to be a Q. I am not now, nor will I consent to such a thing. YOU created the Khinsharri to be YOUR servants, not the Qs. HOW can we possibly do that if we are enslaved to the Q?” with that he takes hold of the stone and it begins to glow brighter and brighter. The Organian sees this and halts time in one fell swoop.
“Gentlemen please, I implore you, CEASE your struggles for objects of power. The Khinsharri ARE our watchers, responsible to US and us alone. NOW if our brethren the Q wish to enlist them to some degree, we are open to suggestions, but be warned THEY are not usurped nor easily dissuaded from our services.”

“In that case forget it Avakhon, we don’t need you that badly, and from what I can see letting you live forever under the Organians is punishment enough. I’ll take my leave of you all now.” with a snap of his fingers, he is gone.

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