Hostess With The Mostest

OFF: Challenge post time!


[???-USS Endeavour]

A roll of a drum, the lights dim and dark. With a crack a spotlight appeared, shining down on a humanoid woman, her white glossy hair in a braid around her face, pale skin almost sparkling in the light. She wore a fine blue suit more meant for an old Terran airport, gloves and all. She tilted her head up, smiling and opening her eyes, revealing pale pink eyes.

"Gooood morning, ladies, gentlemen, and all who exist in the universe!" She raised a gloved hand, waving slowly to the tune of thunderous applause. She lowered it back down, lacing her hands in front of her once more. "My my, we have an audience today, don't we?"

One hand came up, the index finger pressing into her cheek as she tilted her head, eyes widening. "And all for little ol' me? Why, you shouldn't!"

More thunderous applause, laughter, echoing in the darkened room. She laughed along, lowering her hand back down. "Well! I suppose we shan't keep you all waiting! Today's segments include an update on the situation in the USS Endeavour, a mystery illness that will be explained by our wonderful doctor Zazi, and finally, our Q&A corner!"

A screen lowered, bulbous and awkward, and it flickered on, showing the crew of the Endeavour in different ways, some running down hallways, one person oreo? A few fighting Romulans, and Zazi and Jenny's quarrel with the duplicate in the sickbay. She cupped her hands to the side, showcasing the screen.

"My my, how the crew has worked today! First there was the discovery of the clone in sickbay, and her awful destruction of our doorway." The woman, Jenny, tutted and shook her head as the screen played back the events.

"Then, we were boarded by Romulans...which turned out to be holograms! What a surprise, what a mystery!" It then showed Eight of Eleven's trail of gore, her attack on another unsuspecting Romulan, then the discovery that all the bodies had miraculously disappeared. Jenny poked her cheek with her finger again, winking at the audience. "At least our clean up crew won't have to be called out!"

Laughter, boisterous and belly rolling, echoed as the screen switched to an Ensign dozing in her quarters. "And oh, seems one of our dear Ensigns had the best dream of all. Talking food! Who hasn't had that dream?" It played out the dream sequence, ending with Ensign Ogden jerking awake to go and answer the door. "Well, let's hope she has a pleasant sleep next time!"

With that the screen slid back up and she returned her hands to lace in front of her, still smiling. "Now, everyone, the moment you've been waiting for! Mystery Diagnosis with Doctor Zazi!"

The camera flicked to the side as applause rang out, another spotlight crackling to life. Zazi stood there, short white hair, antennae crooked in their usual ways, but wearing an odd leather red suit with leather gloves. She blinked, staring ahead, then to the side. "Jenny. What is this."

The camera slid back to Jenny who laughed along with the crowed. "Oh Doctor! Have you forgotten? It's your segment! Please, grant us your knowledge of today's mystery diagnosis!"

The camera went back to Zazi, her eyes wide in confusion. "Jenny, I have no idea what you're doing. What even..." she looked down at herself, then at her hands. One hand held a PADD, while the other held a scalpel, but she felt it was...fake, in that way one watches people do incredible stunts but with wires on them. "Jenny, this is impossible, could you-"

With that the spotlight crackled off of Zazi, leaving her voice blurred out by the booing of the audience. Jenny deflated on screen before puffing up once more. "I'm so sorry, audience, I suppose our dear doctor is under the weather. But not to worry, we'll bring that mystery diagnosis to you next time!"

Another screen slid down, this one with a ticker of a list, one that was possibly being shown to Jenny in front of her. "Now, to Q&A! First question: Nurse Jenny, I broke my arm doing an incredibly stupid a hologram. How badly will the doctor yell at me?"

Jenny laughed, covering her smile with her hand lightly. "Oh, not to worry! I believe I know who sent this in. Doctor Zazi has a light heart, secretly. I'll work with her." She held up a finger in a 'shh' motion, winking, sending the audience into another bout of laughter.

"Next question! Nurse Jenny, sometimes I like to go to Ten Forward and hang out. Lately I've been...there more often than not, I look forward to it, and every time I see the bartender I feel my heart speed up. What is this?"

The audience gave out an 'aww' and Jenny's face flushed as she cupped her own cheeks. "Oh my! Dear letter writer, you're in love! Or at the very least, you have a crush! Please please go and tell the bartender, he may return your feelings! You never know!"

There was a buzzer sound, and another. Jenny looked up at the ceiling then back at the screen. Something behind her moved as she smiled. "Last question of the evening, folks!"

The screen glitched as a red leather gloved hand placed itself on Jenny's shoulder. The voice sounded muddled as Jenny slowly read off the letter. "Jenny. Jenny wake up. Jenny! Jenny!"

With a startled gasp Jenny opened her eyes from where she had slumped onto the bed, Zazi nearly kneeling over her and checking her with the tricorder, one hand on her shoulder as she frowned. "Jenny, don't go to sleep, you have a concussion."

Jenny's eyes flickered, breathing shallowly as she tried to get up. "W-What..."

"When we hit heads, turns out I have a pretty strong skull, and you don't." Zazi pushed her back onto the bed, taking out an instrument that Jenny knew she knew the name to, but her mind was like sludge or muck, every word being drudged up and fought for valiantly. "I thought you would have but you didn't show any signs, then you just passed out on me."

"...'m sorry."

Zazi shook her head, sighing as she checked Jenny's vitals. "It's fine. Just. Don't scare me like that." She blew a stray piece of hair out of her face. "Red alerts are off. It was a drill." She made a face, one that Jenny often had to warn patients away from, especially when it came to engineers coming in saying they hurt their heads by not wearing a helmet. "I have a feeling the duplicate was as well, but I imagine Sharon is not appeased."

Jenny let out a soft laugh, dragging herself up with a groan and cupping her fingers over her temples, wincing. "My head hurts very awfully, doctor."

"I'm fixing you up right now, Jen." Zazi sighed. "Sorry about all this."

"...I had a very funny dream. I feel really weird now."

Zazi frowned, her antennae twitching in interest. "I've been told dreams often show us things we do not know we know. What was it about?"

" of the Ensigns dreamed about a talking Oreo."

A beat passed, and Zazi gently put her hand on Jenny's shoulder. "I think we're working you a little too hard, Jenny. Go to Ten Forward, okay? Once Raymond comes around we can deal with everyone, you have a few shift breaks, okay?"

Jenny nodded slowly. "I think that's best, yes." She paused, letting out a soft laugh. "It was funny though. You had a funny red outfit on. And I looked like one of those ladies in the old Terran movies."

Zazi's face turned purple at the mention of a red outfit, quickly turning her face away. "Y-Yes well! Dreams are. Odd. If you need to speak to the counselor about it, go ahead. For now, just, relax, but don't go asleep!"

Jenny smiled, shaking her head as she leaned back. "I don't think I can after that..."

After a moment of one arm over her eyes to block out the lights, she raised the question, "You have a leather red outfit, don't you, Doctor?"

A pillow swatted her arms as the squeak of a chair meant Zazi was getting up and walking away. "Rest!"

Lieutenant Commander Zazi Sh'viakrik
Chief Medical Officer
USS Endeavor NCC-9819

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