Just pretend it's better
"The whole realm is tainted with trace dark magic. It's everywhere but there... There is a big ass hole in the air just twenty to thirty metres out," Cyndel's Tiefling pet said.
Vader grunted, "Well, there's no point waiting around for the Balrog to show up."
This realm was rapidly sapping his energy. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before he could no longer walk, let alone fight. So gathering up what remained of it, he took a running leap. As his feet left the bridge, he could feel his consciousness waning. It was out of his hands now.
When he came to, he found himself on the damp, fungus covered floor of yet another dungeon, deep and dark. Behind him stood a row of iron bars so old and rusted that a gentle breeze would likely cause them to shatter and disintegrate. To either side, the walls were lined with loot chests of varying size and make. One in particular had a pair of purple, thong panties caught in the lid. He tilted his head to read the gold inscription on them.
"C... Y... N... D...," bah, the rest was obscured beneath the lid. Not that it mattered.
The remaining wall was dominated by a massive iron door. Though rusted and heavily pocked, it had clearly stood the test of time. As he approached it, he felt rather than heard or saw, the message, 'Access Denied'. He instinctively knew that it would not open for him no matter what. As he stood there, contemplating what that could mean, something struck him from behind.
"Oh shiiiiiiiit!" Niko screached as she fell out of seemingly nowhere. Then, as she climped off of him, "Sorry, Master."
"Bard...," he said menacingly as he hauled himself back to his feet.
Then, hearing another incoming shriek, he snatching her by the wrist and yanked her out of the way as more Fellowship members began piling, literally, into the room.