This can't get worse! - Revised with more humor.

Artimis sat close to Abby who had fallen asleep against him. He had instinctively wrapped an arm around her to keep her warm and to keep her from falling off the roof. As the young man with them had droned on and with the cool air, he had nodded off too.

The young couple woke to a cheer that came from the dining hall down below. Artimis squeezed Abby into himself gently. She leaned her head back and then looked at him and smiled. He could have fallen off the roof and died and he would not have cared. Nothing he had experienced, so far, in the world could have come close to that moment.

The young man coughed to get their attention and to stop any forward progress on the field of play. "Lady Evergarden, I think you best return to your routine and we will come along shortly," he said. He continued, "Artimis and I need to see to some issues then we will be to breakfast." The two lovers touched fingers till she slid back into the passage and headed down the stairs.

After she had left and the footsteps could not be heard. Artimis stood up stretched and peed off the roof into the fountain below.
"So what is it that I need to deal with?" he asked as he let it fly.
"Well, you have now broken all the rules of courting." the lad proclaimed.
"According to your information," the young man paused and looked at him then continued, "you are married."
Artimis sheathed his "little sword" and turned in shock, nearly falling off the roof.
"What?" he said loudly causing servants to look up at them.
Artimis moved away from the drop and back to the stone to stand.
The lad continued looking at his book, "Apparently, you are married to" he paused as he turned the page. "someone named 'Rebecca'," he continued.
He flipped a few more pages and then said, "It was officiated by a Dark Elf Princess..."
Artimis was heading down the stairs to find Orion or Glenn. Something was broken, if he was married and hadn't even, well, enjoyed it.

He had just be-smudged Lady Abigail's honor. If the court found out, worse, if her Father found out. He wasn't here, thank the gods, it would take some event. Some big event to get him here. Oh wait, her parent's died and her step father was, Oh crap, Glenn!

The sword laughed its evil laugh, "See, you've betrayed them again, my boy. Join me!" He had the fleeting image in his head that he should have grabbed her breast earlier if he was going to get in this much trouble. These thoughts were not helping his current alignment issue between lawfully horny and chaotic-oh-shit.

As Artimis walked into the great hall, one of the maid asked him if he had seen Lady Evergarden and proceeded to tell him the good new about a Royal Wedding to take place this evening. He saw Abby at the head table beaming with delight at the news congratulating her new step mother and Glenn.

When one of the Paladins guardians placed a hand on his shoulder to see if he was alright, Artimis turned as white as The Inquisitor's Mace in the presence of evil and collapsed straight down to the floor.

< Prev : Stuck In The Middle Next > : A humorous distraction