Seeing Red

As frustrating as the day had been, the end of it proved to be highly educational.  Firstly, apparently the ocean had a bottom where disgusting-looking boxy things could be found.  Secondly, apparently scaly feral sea-monster-people were also a thing.  Part of her wanted to believe that this shit was just another Tuesday aboard the Flying Dutchman, but the other part was struggling to process what was happening...

Unfortunately, she didn't get a chance to think things through as the crew of the Flying Dutchman were soon fighting for their lives as the mind-rendingly horrifying things climbed onto the deck in droves... seeking to make friends and influence people.  Being the antisocial bitch she was, Eliza marched up to the nearest freak and kicked it squarely in the chest, knocking it back from whence it came.

Hearing a sound behind her, Eliza whirled around and whipped out her nightstick as another one of the creatures approached her and asked if it could borrow some deck space to sunbathe in order to prop up its body temperature.  Being cold blooded, the creature explained that it needed to regulate its body temperature by adjusting its environment when it got too hot or too cold, and right now it was rather chilly.

"Sorry buster, but there isn't enough space here for you and my plants, so scram," Eliza growled.

"But there's plenty of space!" it protested.  "Sharing is caring!"

Bellowing the inspirational war cry, "No Freeloaders!!!" Eliza proceeded to bludgeon the creature repeatedly over the head with her stick until it stopped moving.

Panting from exertion, Eliza looked around and saw the deck swarming with enough creatures to give her claustrophobia.  She took out another one of the scaly vagrants with her stick, only to then get tackled to the ground by one that pinned her in place and proceeded to explain to her the merits of communism.

"But how do you justify the notorious excesses of the Dictatorship of the Proletariat?" Eliza riposted as she futilely struggled to obtain her freedom.

"It's a necessary step in organizing the workers to realize their revolutionary potential and then steeling them against the corruptive influence of the bourgeoisie until all traces of capitalism have been eliminated," the philosophical terrifying fucking sea monster countered.  As it continued to ramble about the evils of capitalism, a terrible thought came unbidden to Eliza's tortured mind...

"What if... What if... I'm not part of the bourgeoisie anymore?  What if..."

"What if I'm a prole?"

"No... no!  That's not true!  That's impossible!"

"Search your feelings," the creature intoned, "you know it to be true!"


"It is your destiny!  Join me, and together, the working class can rule the ocean!"

Realizing that the system no longer worked in her favor, Eliza was forced to reevaluate her faith in capitalism.  As she did so, her whole life flashed before her eyes, until suddenly she saw a figure approaching...

"Behold! It is I, the wandering wizard! Long and far have I traveled, over hill and over dale, through both time and space... I have seen all that mortal eyes could ever hope to see and learned all that is knowable, and yet in all of my travels, I have never seen nor heard tale of a butt-hole such as thineself!"

"Nooo, I'll be a good capitalist, just let me live!" Eliza begged.

The feeling of some liquid spilling onto her pulled Eliza back into reality, where she saw a spear sticking out of the neck of the monster that had been on top of her.  "Oh fuck, it's bleeding all over me!  Ah! It's in my mouth! It's in my mouth!" After vomiting onto the deck, Eliza moaned, "eugh, now I'm going to get lizard-fish herpes."

Only then did she see the slightly webbed hand extended toward her.  Taking it, she was pulled to her feet by the spear-wielding good fish-person.  "Thanks for saving me.  I was this close to becoming a Red."

Noting that she was, in fact, red from all the blood on her, Riz said nothing but gave her a concerned look as she continued, "Alright, now lets finish off these commie bastards..."

"No Freeloaders!!!"

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