Characters in this post
View character profile for: Jason Voorhees
Once the ship was up to speed and inertial dampeners were operating at full power, Jason was finally able to physically leave his seat. ...and then promptly vomited several dozen times on the deck.
"Woah, there! That's an impressive amount of barf," Barfolomew said, wagging his tail.
Still doubled over, Jason looked up at him and wiped his chin.
"That's enough barf, Barf," Captain Lincoln said. He gave Jason a few more minutes to recover before continuing, "I assume you've got quite a few questions."
"I... yes. Who are you people?" Jason stuttered.
"Mr. Voorhees, my crew and I are members of an organization known as the Justice League. We're sworn to defend the galaxy from the forces of evil," Captain Lincoln said.
"And what's that got to do with me?" Jason asked.
"Straight to the point. I like that. Recently, a dimensional vortex has opened up between our reality and Dimension X! At first, we thought it was a natural phenomenon. But then we detected ever increasing amounts of Chaos leaking into our reality," Captain Lincoln continued to explain.
"Basically the whole world's goin' bat-shit crazy," Barf interjected.
"I might have phrased it differently, but yes," Lincoln said.
"But, who would do this?" Jason asked.
"North Korea," Lincoln said gravely.
Jason's mouth fell open.
"Yeah, that's what I said. Ain't that what I said, Hitler?" Barf called.
"Jah, that's vat you zaid. Und zen, you shit jorzelf," Hitler called back.
"Hey, hey... I thought we agreed not to mention that part!" Barf whined.
"Anyway... I still don't see what this has to do with me," Jason finally said.
"Quite simply, the rift cannot be closed from this side. Nor can we cross through to close it from the other. It's shielded. Only North Koreans can pass through," Captain Lincoln explained. Then, after a pause, "...Tell me, do you remember your father?"
"Not really. I was raised by my uncle. He told me that he was taken away by the Worships when I was five," Jason said, confused.
"That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should have stayed home. Not gotten involved," Captain Lincoln said.
"Involved in what?" Jason asked.
"The Korean War. Jason, your father was- IS Kim Jung-Il," Lincoln Said.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Jason cried out, falling to his knees and weeping like a sad little baby. "No. No. It's not true. That's impossible!"