Worse Than Life

"You will be punished," boomed a voice from nowhere.
"Oh, smeg!" Dirk couldn't believe his first day on the Blue Dwarf. First he
was left with no way to check in and get his room, now he was about to be
punished by a bootleg copy of some testosterone driven VR game. He pushed the
palm of his hand where his escape button was supposed to be. Nothing happened.
"I can't get out! How about you, Stone?"
Stone replied, "Me neither. I think we're stuck."
"I heard him say 'punished.' What do you think he meant by that?" Before Stone
could answer, the environment around the two downloaded to show an empty
auditorium. The stage was decorated with banners announcing the 3rd Annual Miss
Fiji No Bake Sunscreen Pageant. The two men wore oversized trench coats.
Stone's was blue and Dirk's was orange. Each had a name tag. Dirk read them.
"It seems here that you're Mr. Blue and I'm Mr..... I'm MR. ORANGE! Is that my
punishment? I'm orange?"
"At least you weren't Mr. Pink."
Three gorgeous young women in skimpy bathing suits walk out onto the stage.
"This doesn't look like it's going to be too bad," said Dirk. Without a word
the women expose their large fangs and prepare to attack. "What! No cheesy
dialouge! It's no fun without poorly written catch phrases. What kind of a rip
off game is this?"
"Let's just think about getting out of here," Stone told Dirk. Both men began
to search their coats for the weapons that were supposed to be there. "I coat
is empty. I don't have any weapons."
"Me neit..." Before Dirk could finish the sentence, one of the women landed a
punch right square on his jaw and knocked him to the floor. "SMEGGGG!!!!!" He
quickly kicked the vamp off of him. "That hurt!"
"These games are supposed to make you think that you've been hurt."
"No, you don't understand. I've had enough experience to know the difference
between simulated pain and the real stuff, and I'm telling you that that REALLY
hurt!"
take it away....
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