Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Efof - \"Nineteen to go\"

Okay, something I want to check; Does Efof eat the custard, or apply it topically? --- On Sat, 7/2/11, Onion <david@...> wrote:From: Onion <david@...>Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Efof - "Nineteen to go"To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comDate: Saturday, July 2, 2011, 5:39 PM
 

Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar
Where: Holding room
When: After the Govines were castrated
Efof waited nervously in the dark room. The room was dark apart from one very bright spotlight facing right into his eyes.
He was cold, and he was nervous. He wondered how Seymour, Rosette, Rufus and the rest of the resistance were doing. A loud banging alerted him to someone else being in the room. It was the sound of the heavy metal door opening and closing.
Efof strained his eyes but couldn't see anything, he could only hear the severe footsteps of sharp stilettos on the metal floor.
Captain Castillo slammed her hands on the desk. "I am zery dissapointed in you Efof!" She said in her French accent. Efof squirmed uncomfortably as he atched her pull on some tight leather gloves.
"After your planet was destroyed, ze JMC took you in, gave you a place to live, and gave you a job." She shook her head at him. "And now you have disobeyed a direct order of mine."
"Yeah but-"
"SILENCE!"
"But you asked me to-"
"SILENCE!"
"...chop off-"
"SILENCE!"
Efof thought the evil Frenchwoman was going to lean across the desk herself and slap him, but she nodded to some JMC guard who did it instead.
"Ow!" Efof rubbed his cheek.
Castillo took a deep breath. "You know Efof, the JMC was weak. It was underperforming as an organisation. We have a fleet of over 100 mining ships, but do you know how many of zem actually do any mining?"
"Er..."
"When was ze last time ze Blue Dwarf did any mining?"
"Er..."
"Exactly!" She said. "So that's where I came in. When I joined ze JMC I promised to shake up zis dead company and turn it around. Did you know zat ze year before I became Captain, I'd increased profits on ze JMC Tikka Masala by over 400%?"
"Err... well done?" Efof said.
"This ship was the worst in the fleet." Said Castillo. "Did you know zat you 'ave a reputation as being ze slackers of ze JMC?"
"No." Said Efof. "But it doesn't surprise me." He said honestly.
"So I was sent 'ere to sort you all out. I'm going to make zis ship the flagship of ze fleet. Using this ship alone, we're going to make ze JMC a household name. People will hear about us across the galaxy."
"Err... you might be telling this to the wrong person." Said Efof. "I don't really do much onboard."
"Zat is exactly why I'm telling you Efof!" She said. "My methods might seem harsh, but they'll get results. I'm going to be a lot more strict on people who disobey my direct orders, starting with you."
Efof gulped as she handed over some garden clippers to the guard who had slapped him.
"Did you know Efof zat 100% of studies show zat employees respond to corporal punishment?"
"No. Who is that? Your boss?"
"No it's not a person you imbecile! I'm going to chop off one of your fingers every time you disobay me."
Efof quickly clasped his hands between his legs.
"Which means you've got twice as many chances as most people..." Said Castillo looking at his four arms. "But twice as many chances to inflict pain!"
The guard grabbed Efof's hand and swiftly chopped one off. The small blue sausage plopped to the floor and Efof screamed.
As he sobbed and held his bleeding finger, Castillo placed some clothing on the table in front of him.
"Oh, and by the way, the JMC have changed their uniform. They're going for a new look. We've had yours especially made for you, with the additional arm holes. She held it out for him to see.
"It... looks... familiar." He said through winces of pain. "I think I saw it in a film."
"Oh?" Castillo said "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, it was a film about World War 2, the baddies wore it."
Castillo looked at the uniform again. It was dark, with a band of colour around the arm for the JMC logo. "Are you saying it looks like a Nazi uniform?"
Efof nodded.
"Oh yes, I suppose it does. Well, that was a very efficient organisation. I suppose that's something the new JMC and the Nazis have in common. Well done for making that observation!"
She threw it at him. "Now put it on and report for work immediately. You've got a lot of work to do and your shift doesn't end until 04:30.
"That's the middle of the night!" Efof said. "When do I get to sleep?"
"Sleep isn't efficient!" She said. "And if you fall asleep we'll chop off another one of those digits."
Efof clasped his bleeding hand to his chest.
------------------------------------
Who: Efof and Davie
When: Later that night
Where: Corridor
Efof stumbled down the corridor wearing his new JMC uniform. He noticed that everyone else was wearing the new uniform too, maybe it was a way for Castillo to tell who had turned up for work in the morning, to identify who was working for the resistance.
His finger was still bleeding, but he'd covered it over with a bandage. He stumbled down the corridor when he bumped into Davie.
"You look terrible!" David said.
Efof nodded, and showed his bleeding hand. "One down, nineteen to go." He said.
Davie offered to help, and Efof said something he wasn't expecting.
"Custard."
"What?"
"Custard. It's a human thing apparently. All I know is it helps me grow limbs back."
David nodded.
OOC - Tag Davie! Can you find some custard for Efof?
SMAndy I've not forgotten about 'Operation Chardonnay' we'd talked about, I just couldn't resist doing some character building, making Castillo more evil!