Launderette

Who: Canazza
Where: Canazza's Quarters
When: Shortly after 'revenge'
Canazza stood infront of the mirror, checking himself over.
He has a brand new fresh and clean-as-a-whistle, totally unsoiled uniform, unlike the last one, which now resides in a black plastic bag, tied at the top.
He walks over to it and gags. It reeks.
"Phwaar. Needs a little attention."
Canazza reaches under his bunk and pulls out a can of Air-freshener, he sprays it infront of him
"mmm ... lemon"
returning to the bag, at arms length, he holds out the canister and sprays liberally over the bag.
Again, he picks it up and slings it over his shoulder.
"Better"
he exited the room and headed towards the lifts.
--
The launderette was empty, except for a lone launderette droid behind the counter.
Well, i say a droid, it was just a box with pincers and a smiley face painted around the various facial features to make it look friendlier, and the words "Mike, your friendly laundry-bot" printed on the desk infront of it.
Canazza walked in, still carrying his bag. With a face that could sour milk. The Air-freshener didn't last too long.
"How may i help you" said the grey metal box that was supposed to be a droid.
"I need this cleaned," he replied, tossing the bag down and backing off.
"Okie dokie, let's have a look," the droid's pincers moved to open the bag, it snipped the top off and a wave rose up from it.
There was a loud bang and a large flash from where the droid's nose was.
"Dearie me," it said, "I know just what to do with this little beauty"
The pincers disappeared below the table and came back up with a sticker.
"WARNING: Toxic materials" it read, the droid pressed some keys on the keypad infront of him.
"if you would just wait a while sir" the droid politely asked.
A few minutes later, 5 men in white containment suits arrived, another one in yellow entered behind them,
the one in yellow spoke, "Waste disposal crew 2 reporting, i understand you have a situation"
"Yes we do" replied the droid, indicating the bag.
The crew moved over to it, carrying scanners
"Hydrogen-sulphide, methane, JEESOH! URANIUM?!", the crew stepped back, "whoops, my mistake, dust on the screen, it's URINE! my god man," he turned to Canazza, "You are a very strange individual"
"What shall we do with it?" asked another suited man
"Well" the leader mulled it over, "we can send it down to mining to have them remove some of the elements, we could probably use some of this to help power the ship, there seems to be enough here, hehe."
"Are you serious?" quizzed Canazza,
"Of course not, we can send it to McDonalds, i'm sure they'll be able to make Chicken McNuggets out of it, oh, wait, it's under new management, i don't think they go for the 'Brown=Meat' philosophy any more, oh well, to the incinerator"
"You're going to BURN my uniform?!"
"Yes, and i also think you should spend some time in the decontamination chamber, infact, i think we all should, and for safety we should close the launderette to"
"You're kidding again aren't you?"
"nope, deadly serious, Men, take him away, 24 hours in decon, with my men, i'll join you in 15"
Three of the five white suited men picked up Canazza and carried him off, the other two took up the front and rear, making sure no-one came near, just in case. The leader sealed up the door with hazard tape and headed off to the incinerator,
They arrived in the medical bay, the man taking up the front informed the nurse on duty to open the decon-chamber doors. They carried Canazza in, and the other two followed. They all sat down and removed their suits and hung them on hangers inside the door.
"Well, that was exciting" said the first one
"Yeah," Said the second one
"I agree" said the third one
"me too," said the fourth one
"Ditto to me" said the fifth one
"Good" said the first one
"Very good" said the second one
"yes" said the third one
"indeed" said the fourth
The airlock opened, in stepped the leader
"hello" he said
"hello" said the first one
"hi" said the second one
"Howd-" he was cut off
"Can anyone here make decent conversation?" enquired Canazza,
"No," said the leader
"nope," said the first one
"not at all," said the second one...Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Serving time in the company of the linguistically challenged