did Dean just get his Captain killed?!?
OOC: Say - I didn't know WW had any clothing other than his vest! So
he's been going around undressed all this time, huh? Ah well... ;)
Rpg -
=====
Who: 'Stangled' Dean ,'green cloud' White Wolf, and one very, very,
surprised Evil Jay...
Where: Somewhere aboard The Obliterator.
When: After Dean introduced WW to his underpants...
<Sn'urp!>
The cart rounded a bend to see Jay being followed by a big group of
bugs.
"A good thing sir?" asked Dean, stopping the cart dead, as he saw the
mass of bug's up a gear and start running towards them, with Jay in
the lead.
"Well, we'll pick up Jay who's being chased and then we'll leg it."
"Ok." said Dean, revving the engine...
When Jay came closer, WW realised his mistake.
"Oh smeg." Dean added, before throwing the buggy into gear and
careering round a corner, only to be confronted with more bugs.
WW just pressed the trigger of his bazookoid and listened to the
empty click of the chamber.
"Damn you Fluffy Puff Marshmallows." he said, watching the bug's draw
near...
<End Gasous venting incident otherwise known as Sn'urp>
"You shall pay for this insulance of destroying my private historical
collection!" Barked Evil Jay.
White Wolf & Dean glanced around at thier surroundings for a second,
and Dean quipped back, "Well I was sorta wondering why the interior
decorator had done such a horrific job on this section of the ship -
I mean that plaid carpeting really doesn't go with the puice
wallpaper over here ya know."
"Huh?!? What are talking about?" Came back Evil Jay taken a little
off guard by Dean's response.
White Wolf was about to ask Dean the same thing when he noticed
Dean's previously discarded green trousers doing a slow catapillar
walk a couple of inches closer to Evil Jays legs.
"And what are you staring at?" snapped Evil Jay to White Wolf.
The lanky hamster quickly snapped his head up to avoid giving away
his discovery too soon and then quickly replied, "Oh? Um, nothing
really... It's just that I noticed that your fly is undone - You
oughta remember to close it up after your done doing, you know..."
A look of disbelief passed over Evil Jay's face, as he assumed a
gutsy spread eagled stance before them with both hands on his hips
and commented, "Your both bluffing! Your out of ammo, and know that
I'm going to finish you both off right here and now."
While trying to watch Dean's trousers wriggle between Evil Jay's legs
out the corner of his eyes, White Wolf quickly countered, "Alright,
if you don't believe me, then perhaps you'll kindly explain to Dean &
Myself, exactly how your dry cleaners allowed a certain *barnyard
animal* to become stuck in your fly then!"
A sudden look of surprise flashed over Evil Jay's face as Dean's
trousers brushed against his leg as it scrunched up and leapt upward
and rapidly clamped onto his 'family jewels' and Evil Jay
went "Eeewwwwwwwuuuuuugggggggghhhhhh!" in a really high pitched
falsetto tone, while quickly shifting his hands to clasp the garment
which was now doing an interesting sort of salsafied Rhumba upon his
waist.
"This way, Dean!" Yelled White Wolf quickly opening a nearby door,
and motioning for Dean proceed him.
Dean ran in, stopped and asked, "Which one?" upon seeing three exit
doors on the other side.
"Doesn't matter. Whichever one provides an escape." Replied the six
foot, one inch hamster.
Dean opened the first door on his right, and they both looked through
it at a preserved head head of Saddam Hussein which was hooked up to
massive machine.
"That explains quite a lot..." Comments the hamster Captain moving on
and opening the next door, which happily provided them an exit into
an adjoining hallway.
"Man, that can't be real - That looked like something out of that old
Dr. Who Episode, 'Brain of Moribus'." Finishs Dean passing by the
gigantic hamster Captain, who followed behind him and closed the door
after them amid yet more screaming emitted from the far door.
Dean & White Wolf quickly sprinted down the short hallway and
entered what appeared to be a medieval weapons gallery with mostly
fencing weapons. The room was also a dead end.
"Why can't all the universes evil maniac's collect any useful stuff -
like formula 3000 racing shuttles?" Muttered Dean with exsparation.
The rotund hamster fixed the pilot with funny look, for a brief
moment. Then as pounding footsteps could be heard rapidly
approaching, White Wolf quickly darted forward and grabbed down a
Katana from a nearby wall display, "You try opening that wall vent
over there, while I buy us some time!"
"Sounds like a good idea to me." Said Dean running over the far wall
and yanking on the vent's metal housing. Then a bunch of soldier bugs
piled into the room, and started to pounce on the 6' 1" hamster who
was standing near the door, when a voice from behind all the bugs
shouted "NO - THIER MINE!".
The Soldier bugs stopped, then quickly parted to make a path for a
heavily scoffed & scratched up Evil Jay to stride into the room and
bellow, "You have interfered with my plans for the last time, Rat!"
"Hamster - Get my species right, You bleming smeghead..." Returned
White Wolf.
"Another disgusting rodent.", said Evil Jay as he smiled wanily and
nodded slightly towards the Katana White Wolf was holding before him
in a defensive stance as he(EJ) continued, "But you do know how use a
good weapon - I wouldn't mind finding out if you are any good with
it...". Then Evil Jay slowly reached out and picked up a 17 1/2" long
dagger like weapon from off another wall display with his left hand.
"Now, wouldn't that be a little 'gauche' of you to start a duel right
now?" Punned White Wolf feinting a quick swing to to his right with
the katana, as Evil Jay quickly picked up a archer's sword with his
right hand and took up a opposing fighting stance before the whopping
hamster.
"That's Main Gauche, you mutant hamster!" barked Evil Jay also
fienting right with the Archers sword then quickly slashing forward
from the left with the Main Gauche/17.5 inch dagger in his other
hand, which White Wolf quickly blocked with an upper cut with the
Katana.
The huge hamster momentarily glanced down at his blade and then said
goidingly, "Oh, such a nice steel! Where'd you pick it up? DUMB-ASS-A-
CUSS?"
"That's Damascus steel, you six foot f***ing Rat!" snarled Ej while
stepping forward and savagely stabbing with the archer's sword.
"I think you've got me confused with Mickey Mouse from one of your
Disney land trips." replied White Wolf dodging smartly out of the
way, "And if you prefer, I'll be glad to reschedule this duel until
after you've attended an appointment with Dr. Cerebrum and fully
discussed your childhood traumatization."
"You infuriating, God D****d <bleepity, Bleep vulgarity edited out
for our PG viewers>" Shouted Evil Jay spewing spital all over his
face as he swore at the Hamster Captain, and boldy pressed his attack.
"You really oughta put on bib, and throw down some kitty littler if
your going to spit all over the place like that." shot back White
Wolf amongst the clangs and scrapes of the two swords as he quickly
parried blow, after rapid fire blow from Evil Jay's multiple
attacks, "Say dean, how is that vent coming?"
"I almost got it off - and I think I see the fighter bay through
another vent accross the way!" shouted Dean over the din of clashing
swords.
Then the amplitudiness hamster backed into a pedestal and nearly
knocked off a stone bust that was sitting upon it as he avoided the
angry Ej's flurry of stabs, fients and slashes with aplomb.
"Careful, you idiot!" yelped Evil Jay pausing his attacks in
alarm, "That's the only sculpture of myself that I have left!"
White Wolf used the quick respite in the onslaught to step around it,
then smirked evilly as he used the tip of his Katana nudge the thing
off the pedestal. The sculpture crashed to the floor and shattered
into perhaps a billion pieces.
"You busted my bust!" Screamed Evil Jay with a face completely
flushed red in absolute fury.
"Got it!" suddenly yelled Dean finally pulling off the vent grill
from behind White Wolf.
"Oh Smeg-a-ruinie - Talk about a lousy time to get startled..." Said
the humungous hamster looking down dumbly at the blade of archer's
sword which Evil Jay had rammed up into his chest at that same
instant.
"Don't you just hate it when that happens?" Comments Evil Jay,
quickly withdrawing the blade as White Wolf's body limply buckles to
the floor, "Your Captain's dead. It is now YOUR turn!" as Evil Jay
slowly turned towards Dean.
<Tag Dean!>
--------
OOC: Hey, if Dean can provide references in his game post, so can I!
The Main gauche is here @ http://www.silvermane.com/Main%
20Gauche.html, the archers sword is here:http://www.armory.net/item.cfm?RecordId=074-PP and the Katana is
Here: http://www.bladerigger.com/katana.html, and the 'Mutant
hamster' comment and parts of the fight were inspired by the movie
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles', And the inspiration for the Damascus
bit, was from sword class - the definition of Damascus is herehttp://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=damascus, and Damascus Steel
is here http://www.yellowknifeforge.com/Product%20Pages/sword.htm.
But, mickey mouse, the preserved head of Mr. Hussein & Dr. Who were
entirely inspired upon their separately, and should be enjoyed in the
same way...
- Tim/White Wolf