The wheels on the bus go round and round...and then explode

Who: Captain Jed Calvert & Father Eddie Monsoon
Where: The 142 to Tottenham Road, Argyre Planitia on-the-Wolds, Mars
When: After Jed & Eddie took control
Eddie looked at the dozen or so zombies that sat before him, staring
absently through him. Frankly it scared the crap out of him.
"Jed mate, what should I do" he staged whispered to the scruffy
cowboy driving the bus.
"Keep `em busy pardner! Kill them or something!" cried Jed, not
taking his eyes of the road.
"Jed! No weapons!" he said back to Jed
"Emergency Bitter" replied Jed
"What? No!"
"Do it!"
Eddie fished into his pocket and pulled out the bottle of Budweiser
he kept for emergencies. He pulled off the bottle cap with his
teeth, spat it at a zombie (it bounced off its head he was surprised
to see) and dipped his snotty handkerchief into its top. He pulled
out the cheap Zippo lighter from his trouser pocket and set the rag
alight, waiting until it was alight he threw the Molotov at the
nearest zombie. Surprisingly, it bounced off the zombie, cracking
its skull, and smashed onto the floor lighting it up like a guy on
Bonfire Night. Well, at least the zombies were dying (can something
that's already dead die again? Re-die?) so that was one problem
taken care of. There was now just the small matter of the fact they
half the bus was ablaze, and the petrol tank was beneath them. Damn.
"Preacher, what you done now?!?" cried Captain Jed, smelling burning
flesh and fire.
"Well mate, I set the zombies on fire with that Molotov you told me
to make" grinned the Priest.
"What! I meant for you to drink the booze, smash the bottle and
slice those bastards up like bread in a bakers!" cried the Texan,
turning round to see the raging inferno that was spreading fast
along the deck.
"Look, what you worried about? At least we're warm now. Well, hot
now. Well, roasting to death now. Oh God! Help!" Eddie let his fear
take hold of him and threw himself at Jed. Jed punched the Priest in
the face and continued with the driving. He knew the Base was only
about a mile away, if they could get there before the Bus went sky
high they should be alright. Damn that Priest ruining everything.
"Jed, the structures starting to melt" burbled the sweating Priest,
looking on as the walls began to melt - that engine must have been
made of kryptonite as it still hadn't killed them.
"Here we are partner - hold tight!" cried Jed, seeing the Military
Complex ahead. He stepped on the accelerator and the bus sped
onwards through the barrier and towards the main building.
"Come on Jed, let's bail!" cried Eddie opening the doors of the
still moving Bus. Jed took the opportunity to kick Eddie out and got
much pleasure in seeing the fat git bump painfully along the road,
before hitting a brick wall. When he jumped he managed to hit
something less painful - a row of bins. The Bus was not so lucky in
that it managed to crash into a large warehouse before coming to a
stop.
Jed looked up and saw the bus and saw that it hadn't exploded. It
just sat there smouldering.
"Well I'll be a son of a…" started Jed, but was cut off by the
violent explosion of said Bus, and the destruction of half the
complex.
"….Bitch" finished Jed, not taking his eyes off the blazing inferno.
He stood for a moment, watching the odd burning zombie burst from
the bus shell, only to be shot down by heavily armed soldiers.
Thankfully the rescue crews were too busily to notice Jed. The
Battered Cowboy picked himself up and moved towards Eddie, who was
sprawled against the wall, a dark graze on his forehead. To his
lasting regret, Eddie wasn't dead. He kicked him in the side,
rousing him from unconsciousness.
"Get up ya' lazy varmit! There's work to be done!"
<Tag Onion>

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