Holly in "Digital naughtiness"
A little Red Dwarf joke I made up, rather sick for those who get it, but
then this kind of stuff happens all the time on the show...
Scene: Red Dwarf bridge in an Alternate Reality, when Lister discovers
the crew is all dead
Holly exasperatedly tries to explain to Lister: "They're all DEAD, Dave!"
"All right!" Lister exclaims as he finally gets it. "They're all DEAD!
And it's been 3 million years since I got put into stasis, because of a
radiation leak in the engine core caused by Mr. Rimmer!"
(Enter Rimmer as a hologram)
"Me? It wasn't me!" Rimmer blurts.
Holly ignores Rimmer. "Yes, Dave. And you know, over those 3 million
years, I've had quite some time to contemplate things."
"Like what kind of things, Holly?"
"Oh, nothing you'd be interested in - just the Ultimate Question of Life,
the Universe, and Everything."
"Oh, really? Any new insights into the meaning of life? I could really
use some right now." (glares at Rimmer)
"Well, for one thing, I discovered the Answer isn't really 42 after all.
Deep Thought made a bit of a calculation boo-boo."
"Oh really?" Lister asks. "What is it then?"
"It's 69." Holly says, grinning
(Rimmer hangs his head in shame)
"Hey Rimmer," Lister inquires, "I know you're dead now, but what in the
world could you be so sad about?"
Rimmer chokes out a reply: "I - I don't even want to talk about it -- the
last 3 million years - do you KNOW what Holly can make a hologram do?!?"
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Red: "Welcome to the antique roadkill portion of the show we call --"
Mike: "Yeah yeah can you go ahead and appraise this, I've got to meet
with my parole officer in 15 minutes!"
Red: "Okay, let me take a look at this... Mike, that's JUNK."
Dalton: "Not to mention, it's MY junk!"
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