RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Getting NuttedPosted by
Posted: Jul 4, 2007, 3:15pm
"'s that a fact?" said Keto, raising one wobbly eyebrow beforeglancing around the bar, "Okay. How 'bout a bet? You finish off thatshelf there..."He waved one hand vaguely in the direction of a shelf of bottlesbehind the bar."...an' I'll finish off that shelf THERE..."This time the gesture was towards the snack shelf."...an' we'll soon see who's the drunk an...an' who's the DOCTOR, MsChrysler!"Vanessa glanced at the shelves, then at Keto, then at the shelves again."Okay doc," she said, "You're on.""'m on what?"
*an hour and a half later*
Vanessa dragged herself up to a standing position at the bar, leaning heavily on it's surface. She looked around, bleary eyed at the empty bottles and packets of peanuts littering the top of the bar.
"Did....did I win?" she muttered, before slipping and crashing down onto the floor...chin first.
The same process was then immediatley repeated by Keto, with the exception of him also vomiting, remarkably, onto the top of his own head.
"Alright you two." Came a voice from the top of what appeared to the pair of intoxicated medics on the floor, to be two pairs of legs. It was in fact one pair of legs, belonging to a member of the bar staff.
"I think you've had enough"
"Look..." said Keto, using the bartender's body as a prop to climb up to what was the nearest he could get to standing of his own accord
"look...." he said, his finger pointed, moving in circles and pointing everywhere except at the bar tender. "Look..." he said a third time, then squinted, and at the name badge pinned to the bar-tenders chest, closing one eye to focus enough to read what it said.
"Look her "Parrotts"" he said.
The bartender sighed "Sir, that's the name of the bar, my name is beneath it, it's Jenny"
"Well lisssen here 'JENNY'!" he said with just a hint of sarcasm, waving his arms around like a madman. "I'll tell you who's had enough!! You've had enough!!"
Vanessa giggled insanely into the floor.
"No..noo..no....no.no." Keto began.
no...I'm a dockshtor and it's my medi-cal.."
"No hyphen in that doc!" burbled Vanessa.
"There isn't? Well whatsh got the hyphen? cos it sure as hell aint' medi-bay!"
"no...that's got a semi-colon...."
Jenny scrunched up her face and tapped her foot impatiently.
Vanessa was now on her feet, dropped peanuts and cocktail umbrellas hanging from her hair, she spoke to Jenny
"Can I have some more vodka? And..and also I need some more alcohol..."
"Are you nuts?" Jenny said "I'm trying to tell you that I'm not serving either YOU anymore alcohol, or YOU!" she said pointing now at Keto "anymore peanuts!..." she stopped for a second, having never expected to say that last part.
"Ok..ok fine.." Keto said, then beckoned Vanessa over and whispered loudly in her ear, so that the entire bar could hear. "you tell her you want peanutsh...I'll ask for vodka and alcohol.."
Vanessa nodded an over-exaggerated nod, nearly shaking her head clean off her own shoulders, and put her fingers to her lips. "sssssssssssssssssh!" she said, winking, then turned to Jenny. "I'd like some more alcohol please!"
"And I'd like some more peanutssh too!" Keto piped
They looked at each other and winked, oblivious to the fact that they had fallen not only at the first hurdle of their plan, by broadcasting to the entire bar, but at the second also by getting it so incredibly wrong
"You're idiots." said the bar-tender.
"thash not nice!" said Vanessa!
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave...." Jenny said, sternly.
"Oh alright..what do we do now?" Keto asked.
"I have plenty more alcohol and some peanutsh back at my quartersh!" Vanessa suggested
"splendid!" said Keto. He and Vanessa then left the bar, arm in arm, singing as they waltzed through the middle of a warzone, waving at people who were fighting, and even stopping at one point to have their photo taken with a dog-man......
-----Original Message-----From: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com [mailto:JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of lucky_coincidenceSent: 02 July 2007 23:57To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Getting Nutted
Who: Keto, VanessaWhere: Parrott's BarWhen: During the Promenade dog-men invasion========================<<SNIP>>Keto ran over, and grabbed a large bottle from the optics behind the bar,and smashing it over the attackers head, knocking it out, just as asecurityofficer arrived to take it away."Well" Vanessa said "This call's for a celebration!", she immediatleyproceeded to order a large vodka-redbull for herself. "Oh, and Peggy," shesaid to the landlady "Let's have a packet of peanuts for the good Doctorhere!"<<END SNIP>>Half an hour later and Vanessa and Keto were managing to ignore mostof the commotion that was still going on out on the promenade outsideParrotts by two very simple methods - arguing between themselves, andgetting as drunk as possible...Vanessa on vodka and vodka-baseddrinks, and Keto on peanuts."Come on Doc," said Vanessa, sitting back down with her next drink inher hand, "You're at least three packets behind!""'d like t'see you eat this m'ny peanuts this quickly," managed Keto,blinking. It was a side-effect of his misspent ointment-based youththat alcohol, per se, had little to no effect on him, whereas theordinarily harmless legume known as the peanut sent his brain intospirals. He reached across to a neighbouring table, the previousoccupants of which had just run screaming past Parrott's windowpursued by a pair of wolfmen, and stole the bowl of peanut packets onthere."Aha! Victory is mine!" he said loudly, and then grew steadily morefrustrated as he tried and failed to open the next packet of peanuts."Curse 't! Why'd'thy have t'make the damn'd packets so small?""Do you think we should be helping out there?" asked Vanessa, somewhatdisinterestedly glancing out of the window before turning back to thetable."No," said Keto firmly, "Because...because...uh...because they're outthere 'n we're in here. How're we meant to help them like tha'? Bestto save everyone th' trouble an' stay here, out of the way with th'alcomahol and peanuts."Vanessa glanced at Keto. He was definitely slumping on the chair,rather than sitting on it."Doc, I think you're drunk," she accused happily. Keto snorted."'m not drunk," he said defensively, "'m nutted. YOU'RE drunk!""Me? I'm fine," said Vanessa, sitting more upright and ignoringmessages from her brain to the contrary, "It'd take a lot more thanthis to get me drunk.""'s that a fact?" said Keto, raising one wobbly eyebrow beforeglancing around the bar, "Okay. How 'bout a bet? You finish off thatshelf there..."He waved one hand vaguely in the direction of a shelf of bottlesbehind the bar."...an' I'll finish off that shelf THERE..."This time the gesture was towards the snack shelf."...an' we'll soon see who's the drunk an...an' who's the DOCTOR, MsChrysler!"Vanessa glanced at the shelves, then at Keto, then at the shelves again."Okay doc," she said, "You're on.""'m on what?"=======================OOC: Werewolf invasion? Pfft. Getting's drunk's more important. ;)Tag Andy!