Porn and Loos

Who: Dante, Charlie, and Chris Harris
Where: Security Office
When: About 24hrs after Jay found out about the Dwarf.
Apart from the pictures of the latest and greatest pulse
rifles that decorated the walls of Chris' office. A visitor would not
be penalised for thinking that they were not in security. All the
TV's that monitored the ships CCTV system, were currently showing the
latest Babysitter film from Playboy Productions, starring Debbie Deep-
throat and Aimee Anal. <Actually I retracted by opening statement>.
Upon walking past the security office, if you could not tell by the
sound of 2 blokes watching an adult film, (in a totally not Brokeback
Mountain way), that you had just passed security then you were
probably named Efof Yuwan'kar .
"Dante?" Efof asked as his blue face popped around the door frame,
hand over forehead, looking at Chris Harris. "Yes replied the burly
security officer, his enormous feet remained crossed on the small
coffee table and his eyes glued to current scene, and slightly
wincing as something very large was shoved somewhere Dante would
imagine it would hurt quite a bit.
"Dante, you're in security right? So could you direct me to Maj Chris
Harris' office is? Please?" Dante's eyes removed themselves for a
second while he looked at Chris. His eyes returned to the Television
sets, `Why would Efof not remember Chris, maybe he had a lot on his
mind.' Dante pondered. What with the news about the Dwarf being
returned and the crew being completely changed Dante didn't blame
him, but this was still too good an opportunity to miss. Jay had
already received an E-mail from Chris stating that security would
only be responding to dire emergencies, until this thing had been
ironed out, but would be willing to lend their services should the
need for a rebellion against the JMC be needed. Hence why Chris and
Dante were sat watching hardcore porn on the Security monitors and
why the grunts had been given leave until further notice and were
currently propping up the bar in Parrott's.
"Yes mate, if you go down the corridor about 50 yards there
is a door with a ladies toilet sign on it. That's Chris' new office.
Ignore the sign he is hoping to see some action." Dante laughed his
deep Bruno style laugh and punched Chris in the shoulder, knocking
his boss off the sofa.
"Good punch mate," Chris admired as he pick himself back up and
rubbed his shoulder his eyes did not leave the TV as both him and
Dante winched and sucked in air through their teeth. "Go on son,"
Muttered Chris, "give it to her" he added.
Efof said thanks and went to leave. "Efof," Dante
called, "Don't bother knocking," he said friendly, "he's not busy."
Chris tried to stifle a laugh as Dante looked at Efof right in the
eyes, below his hand which was still on his forehead. "Thanks." Efof
went to leave again.
"Efof?" called Dante again, the blue alien re-re-appeared at the door
to the security office. "When you enter make sure you take of your
hat yea, Chris has a thing about hats in his office at the moment.
Okay buddy." Dante winked at the puzzled Ffionian. Chris's sides were
starting to hurt from trying to contain the laughter.
"But... It's just that... I... I have been stood out here for
a bit now and the noises well they kinder gave me a slightly.... you
know thing." Efof pointed at his forehead which was still covered by
his wholly hat and his right hand. Chris's face was now purple and he
had to bite down on his hand to stop him from laughing.
"It'll be alright, he's a guy. Just explain that you have
been in here watching porn with us two and he will understand." Dante
said as he returned to his sitting position on got comfy again.
"Thanks Dante!" Efof called as he walked down the corridor
to "Maj Harris's" office <lol>
"No problem Buddy." Dante waved his arm but his eyes did not leave
the TV set. Chris was nearly exploding from the insides due to the
fact that he was trying to hide his laughter. He finally exploded in
a torrent of laughter.
"How... How... How... Wait ... Wait........ How... Wait...
How do you manage to keep a straight face, when you are saying stuff
like that to him." Asked Chris between fits of laughter and while
trying to catch his breath.
"Ssshhh," said Dante his index finger pushed against his
lips. Chris turned the volume down, as Dante got up and stuck his
head out of the security office. Chris' head appeared below his, just
as Efof arrived at the girls loos.
Efof straightened himself out, wiping off dust from his
uniform and removing his wholly hat from his head exposing his happy
The sounds of screaming where heard halfway round the ship as Efof
closed the door behind him. Dante wasn't sure if it was Efof or the
poor women inside the loos that was screaming but he was certain it
was Efof being slapped. "Who told you to do this?" The women demanded
as Efof lay prone on the floor. Dante and Chris did not wait to see
Efof point at the security office they just hastily jumped back onto
their sofa and turned up the volume again.

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