Pancake picks a prisoner
... he expected her to say something... Instead, she just placed a hand either side of his head to stop him from getting away, and planted her lips firmly on his. 'If this doesn't work.. Nothing will...' She thought, as every moment she'd spent with him the past months flew by again in her head. Rufus pulled away, turning a bright shade of cherry tomato red. He stammered a few unintelligible syllables before promptly passing out.
Who: Justin Pancake
Where: Mollopod planet, in the carnage of the Commonwealth games
When: After Nick Clegg went mental
Justin staggered over to Rosette, who was stood over the feinted body of Rufus.
"Oh thanks for coming to help me... not!" Justin said sarcastically. "A giant robot just punched my into the ground. I only survived because he had a limp wrist. Speaking of which..." He looked at Rufus, who was passed out on the ground after being snogged into a coma.
Justin noticed the lipstick marks on the scientist's face, and the same shade smeared around Rosette's lips.
"You didn't!" Justin said, amazed.
"What?" Rosette said, wiping her lips.
"I did what, smeghead?!" Rosette said, wishing Justin would just go away.
"You just kissed him!"
Rosette said nothing, instead she picked up Rufus and threw him onto her shoulder. Her strength allowed her to carry Rufus like a child.
"He's very confused!" Rosette said.
"Because you confused him! Why did you make him fall in love with you? You sick pervert!"
Justin threw out the palms of his hands in defence. "No way, I didn't mean to do that! It was an accident. I thought it was the right potion." He paused. "Do you have the potion by the way?"
Rosette sighed and walked towards the exit of the stadium, carrying Rufus and having Justin in tow.
"So do you have it? The potion that turns people into a Hymenoptera? It's not too late for us you know, we can both by Hymenoptera. You can be my Queen, we'll rule the galaxy."
"Sod off, smeg for brains!" Rosette said. "Besides, I ordered Dr Keto to destroy your precious potion."
Justin stopped dead. His potion, his mission, his dreams were shattered.
They found a small shop outside the stadium, it was a sort of bakers. A bit like a Mollopod version of Greggs.
A podgy old Mollopod woman behind the counter saw the concussed Rufus and immediately showed them into her comfortable back room.
"Please, let me take care of him!" She said, and slid around the room on her slug tail. Justin followed behind, almost slipping over the trail she left.
"Be careful!" He warned loudly. "Mollopods like to eat Humans. She might kill us all and serve us in a pie!"
"Don't be daft!" Said Rosette. "You wouldn't do that... would you?"
The woman shook her fat head. "Probably not. Queen Brittany has outlawed eating Humans now. We're allies, we share the same Queen! Two great races of people, united under a great Human leader!"
"Hopefully we stay united for longer than Brittneys legs." Justin quipped, Rosette slapped him around the head.
They put Rufus into a chair, and he started to wake up.
"My d-d-ddarling!" He said staring directly at Rosette. Rosette started to smile. He remembered.
Rufus rubbed his eyes. "Oh sorry, I thought you were Justin. Oh t-t-there you are s-s-sweetie!" He said and held his arms out for Justin to hug him.
Rosette pulled the Mollopod woman to one side. "You're an advanced alien race. You must have some sort of antidote to this fake love potion that's affecting him?"
The woman held up a slimy finger. "Yes, I do!"
She left the room and returned with something long and brown. "We have been watching Earth's culinary tradition for years. This is one of our favourite Earth foods, but we've added a special potion. We call it a 'Love Sausage'."
"No, no, no." Said Rosette. "He's had too much of that already. I need him to fall in love with ME!"
"Oh sorry!" Said the woman and went into the kitchen again. She later squelched back with a bowl of something yellow.
"Eew, what's that?"
"This is called 'fanny batter'." she said. "It'll make him fall in love with you."
Rosette grinned. "Rufus, come and eat this lovely batter! It will make you feel much better."
She approached Rufus with a wooden spoon of batter.
Justin looked between them. He saw in Rosette's eyes that she really was in love with Rufus, he knew that it wouldn't be easy if he wanted her as his Hymenoptera queen. Also ten minutes ago she had told him that the Hymie potion had been destroyed, but was she telling the truth? He couldn't know for sure that she wasn't bluffing so that he'd forget all about it.
He couldn't let her get away with having Rufus all to herself.
Justin grabbed Rufus by the hand and pulled him out of the chair. "Oh d-d-darling, you're playing rough!" Rufus said.
Justin pushed Rufus behind him and away from Rosette.
"What are you doing?" She practically screamed at him.
Justin had never taken a hostage before. But there's a first time for everything. "Tell me." he said. "Tell me it's not true that you destroyed the potion. I have to know."
"Just hand Rufus over. Rufus, come over here." Rosette pleaded.
"I don't want to. I love Justin." Rufus said.
Justin grinned. Perfect, a hostage who didn't want to be saved.
"I need proof you've destroyed the potion." Justin said.
<Tag Rufus or Rosette>