Touring the Red Dwarf pt1Posted by
Posted: Feb 19, 2011, 12:24pm
Who: Seymour, Jay, Rosette, Alota
Where: Red Dwarf flight deck
When: After Seymour crashed
A noise was heard as the grav-generators shut down and the heavy load pinning
Seymour down floated gracefully upwards, holding onto the landing light Jay
pulled himself, and Seymour effortlessly out from underneath it, and gave Holly
the command to switch the gravity back on. The generators kicked back in, and
the crashed shuttle debris crashed to the deck, safely away from anyones body
"so" said Jay calmly. "I'm open to suggestions".
Seymour panted to get his breath back and checked his legs, he winced as he put
pressure on them and got to his feet. They were hurting but it looked like he
was able to walk.
A flash of light in front of him reflected on the the visor of his radiation
suit and made him look up. Stood there in front of him was his young daughter,
without any radiation suit at all. At first she didn't look so sure, and then
looked down at her glowing skin. Seymour gasped, he knew it was far too
dangerous to bring her here. Then she grinned and ran to her dad, who knelt down
and hugged her.
"Daddy!" She shouted happily.
"My little girl!" Seymour said, happy to see her alive and well. "Alota darling,
I was so worried about you."
"I'm okay!" She said and nodded as he picked her up into his arms.
Seymour looked at her exposed arms and saw that her skin was glowing orange.
"Darling, quick, put a radiation suit on!"
She shook her head. "No daddy. I like it. It's nice."
Jay walked over. "Are you sure she's okay? With the radiation?"
"Dr Keto said it would actually help." Seymour said. "I suppose it's good for
She disappeared from his arms in a flash and appeared at the other end of the
flight deck, then disappeared again and appeared closer.
"Now Alota, stop showing off!" Seymour scolded. "We have to go home now." He
pointed to a Starbug. "Do you think the crew of the Red Dwarf will mind if we
"Why bother?" Said Jay. "Can't she just teleport you there?"
"Awfully good point!" Said Seymour.
Jay's eyes glazed over for a moment as he had an idea. "Actually Seymour wait,
Alota could be useful to us." He turned to the little girl, who was now picking
her nose, knelt down and spoke to her as anyone would speak to a child. "Alota,
do you know Mr Pancake."
She nodded. "Yes." She said sweetly. "I don't like him." Jay chuckled at that.
"Okay, well you know Aunty Amber don't you?"
The little girl nodded her head.
"Okay, well Aunty Amber is lost on this ship. She's been kidnapped by a very
nasty man who looks like a Kangaroo... and a Dolphin."
"Can you find them and bring them back here?"
Before he had finished the sentence, she had disappeared. She was gone only long
enough for Jay to stand up and glance at Seymour, who looked like he was going
to give him a lecture about sending his child into danger. Then she reappeared,
with Justin and Amber. Both were handcuffed and looked a bit startled.
"What's going on, where's Sousa?" Jay asked.
"He's got a hologram, one of the Blue Dwarf's science officers. She's helping
him get control of the engines." Said Justin. "She's really hot. She looks a bit
like Big Suze from Peep Show."
"Can you stop her?"
Justin nodded. "I can lock them out, but not here. I need to use a computer in
the Drive Room."
Seymour barged through. "Well this has been a lovely excursion but Alota and I
need to be going now."
"Wait." Said Jay. "Can Alota take us to the Drive Room?"
"No way!" Said Seymour. "My daughter isn't your personal teleporter!"
Justin pointed a finger in the air. "It doesn't matter anyway, the amount of
radiation in the Drive Room is off the scale." Then he pursed his lips as he had
an idea. "Although....."
"Follow me to the bogs!" Said Justin, walking towards the men's toilets.
Jay slapped his forehead. "Not this idea again." He said.
"What? What am I missing?" Seymour asked. He followed them into the gents
toilet, wondering if he should leave Alota outside.
"What are those for?" Alota said, pointing to the urinals.
"Umm, I'll tell you when you get older sweetie." Seymour said.
Justin fished around in the urinals and brought out several blue cubes.
"That's disgusting!" Said Seymour. Then dodged as Justin threw a few to him.
"Put these in your pocket." Said Justin. "They'll soak up the radiation, giving
us more time before..."
"Before what? Before we melt?" Seymour asked. "I'm not going. My daughter is
definitely not going."
"She's not even affected by the radiation!" Justin said. "Look at her, she's
Before they knew it, they were all standing in the Red Dwarf's Drive Room.
Seymour looked around, it was almost identical to the Blue Dwarf, but slightly
more out of date. Justin started typing on the nearby computer.
Alota screamed, and started clinging to Seymour's leg. As he looked down he saw
the ground was littered with dead bodies. Seymour gagged, and buried his
daughter's head into his waist so that she couldn't see.
Jay kneeled down and started looking at the name tags on the body. "This one's
Captain Hollister." he said, and pointed at another. "And that's Rimmer.
He prized the clipboard out of Rimmer's dead hands. The charred flesh didn't
seem to want to let go.
"This is a report about the Drive Plates." He said, his eyes scanning over the
paper. "It looks like they were incorrectly installed and Rimmer was explaining
why." Jay took a deep breath. "That must be why the cadmium core went critical,
because this man... Rimmer didn't repair them correctly."
He showed the report to Amber and Rosette as Justin typed away at the computer.
"Rimmer's said it all the fault of 'Dave Lister', and given about a hundred
"We saw him in stasis." Justin said. "He's the only survivor. Oh, and some
mutated cats." Then he turned around to Jay. "Done. Sousa is locked out, he
won't be able to control the engines from there."
"Good work." Said Jay.
Only seconds later, the angry voice of General Sousa came over the ship's
tannoy. "All remaining Dolaroos, the Humans are in the Drive Room. I want you to
get there and kill them!"
"I think it's time for us to go!" Said Seymour. Everyone nodded.
<to be continued>