Incoherent Letters to the Press

Artemis scanned the blueprints for the drive and copied them into the powerpoint (after learning to use the, as Artemis puts it, "irksome piece of twaddle" interface). Meanwhile Grandpa Artie refined his speech, putting more "Syzygy" into it (as Artemis put it). While not being able to pronounce the word, Grandpa Artie followed his colleague's (in actuality grandson from the future) advice and spruced up his speech. It took several hours, but the presentation was fixed and readied for the investors. After a quick phonecall, the investors agreed to reconvene at the conference room in the library, but this was the last time they would hear the presentation. This had to work.

Artemis set up the presentation while Grandpa Artie paced around the room. "This could make or break the expedition Greg. I'm so nervous!" Grandpa Artie said, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Hey Artie, you're going to be fine! We'll wow these pieces of fecal flotsam so well that they'll double, no triple the investment!" Artemis said reassuringly. "You think so?" "Of course! You just need a little confidence, and what the people at the JMC call 'Mood Adjustment Pills'" Artemis pulled his prescription pills from his pocket. "Hmm, okay. I guess I can take these...wait, what's the JMC?" "Oh...it's the name of the...Junior...Marketing Conglomerate, it has its hands in pharmaceuticals. Now take the pills and get ready for a fantastic presentation!" Grandpa Artie popped of few of the pills. Instantly the nervousness vanished and he felt....good.

The investors filed into the room and took their seats. Grandpa Artie cleared his throat and announced "Welcome back gentlemen, and my dear hermaphrodite...."

An hour later

"...and that is where we can see humanity in the future, but only if we can successfully reach Mars" Grandpa Artie looked over the investors as they grumbled amongst each other. "Dr. Pritchard, I think you've found your backing!" The he/she investor announced. Grandpa Artie and Artemis freaked out, high fiveing each other and dancing like morons. "We'll expect a draft of your expedition to Mars within six months, Dr. Pritchard. We want to get this underway as soon as possible!" The investors shook Grandpa Artie's room as they filed out. Artemis and Grandpa Artie packed up and went back to the hotel.

Grandpa Artie began packing the second they got back, eager to get back home and start the draft. Artemis flipped through the phonebook and sipped at a glass of grape juice. "Come on Greg! We need to get that draft started!" Grandpa Artie shouted excitedly. "You go back to Cape Canaveral* and get started on the draft, I'm going to enjoy Vegas a little longer" "Are you sure?" "With the expedition greenlighted and backed, we're not going to have another chance now are we?" "Well...okay..." Grandpa Artie was all packed, he opened the door and handed his bags to the bellhop. "Hey Greg...thanks...I'll see you soon" Artemis waved at his Grandfather as he left the room and got back to the phonebook as soon he was sure he was alone. I need to get a message out to the others and tell them where to find me... Artemis thought. His finger landed on the ad for the local news station. Artemis looked up the address and set out into the city...

later

"Tonight's top story: a lead in the case of the Old Vegas massacre that left numerous known gangsters dead. This station received a letter from a family member of the perpetrator that details parts of the suspect's life and gives some insight into his motives for the massacre"

The letter was displayed on the screen. It was typed, and the formatting was god awful and it seemed to ramble on and on, at least to the untrained eye....

"The victim is a cousin of mine. He is around (37-30) and grew up in here in LAS VEGAS. We used to play in the BOULEVARD in SOUTH LAS VEGAS. He loved to play at THE SHOPS that our father owned, and often yelled AT CRYSTAL wine glasses. He loved music but hated ART, and I feel for him. He will bE MISsed.

Also, he owned body armor very similar to that in the case and works at a pawn shop in south vegas named 'Todd's Pawn and Gold'"

"Police later arrested the suspect who possessed body armor that matched that of the description witnesses say the assailant wore. Though the letter is confusing it has given police the suspect, who is expected to go on trial as soon as Friday..."

Tag

There you go Dave, worked Syzygy into the post.
What's the hidden message in the letter?