Another Rough Day [FPF]

<snip>
As Eve babe and I watched the two future jerks trying to trade off the medicine for the rifle were freaking out by the airship with the bright light. Suddenly I realized if we don’t get that medicine back Arty and Boyd are totally gonna be pushing up the daisies. If that happens we like can’t go home and Eve babe won’t show me the surprise and I really really want to see my SURPISE!!!!! AND THESE TWO JERKS ARE GONNA LIKE MESS IT UP FOR ME!!!!! NOT COOL BRO!!!!! NOT COOL!!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I muttered, “Not happening bro!” as I set one holowhip to max stun and the other to the lightest setting. Then with my mean whip I snapped the future bad guys hand and make him toss the glass tubes in the air as I use my weak whip to wrap around them and pull them to Eve babe as I say, “catch Eve babe.
<snip>

I watch as Jaxx attacks the rogue agents with his whips and panic as he uses one of his holowhips to toss me the medical vials. I thought to myself, “OH CRAP!! Dam it Jaxx! Why did you toss them to me? You know I am clumsily.” After some awkward juggling I barely manage to catch the vials just as I see that future rogue bitch set off an EMP on Jaxx. I stand frozen as my sweet beloved Jaxx sits motionless. I think to myself, “Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead.”

<SNIP>
The gunships pounded the building with rocket fire. Williams projected an energy shield over the group, and used an EMP to stun Jaxx.
"If you try that shit again I swear to gods it won't be non-lethal you little runt!" she yelled.
Kahn snatched the vials from Evelina's hands and knocked her down, he pulled his pistol on Jay, his burnt hands shaking. "Where's the rifle Chrysler?"
<SNIP>

Before I know it the rogue asshole tackles me and takes the vials away from me and before I can fight back he pulled out his gun on me. I am frozen with fear at this moment as I am starring down the barrel of his pistol and my beloved Jaxx is probably dead. I look at Jaxx as I think to myself, “This is it. I guess Jaxx and I will never get our honeymoon. Please wake up Jaxx. PLEASE!!!!” Suddenly time slows down as I stare at Jaxx with my teary eyes right before a blindingly white flash consumes the room.

Jerusalem, 0 AD

Suddenly I wake up on something hot and soft. Everything hurts and all I want to do is puke my brains out. I feel like my body was turned inside out. I hate this feeling. Stupid time warp vertigo makes me hurt all over. I think to myself, “Where am I?” I slowly look around with my eyes still adjusting to the bright light. As I barely make out my surrounding I realize I am in the middle of some desert again. I think to myself, “Aww smeg not again. Oh wait where the hell is Jaxx?” As I stumble to get my legs and arms working again I panic as I look around for anyone else. I look around for anyone around and all I can see is that stupid sand. Panic begins to set in as I realize I am alone and probably going to die in the desert without my Jaxx. I am suddenly overwhelmed by emotion as the tears begin to roll down my face and my legs feel like jelly causing me to drop to my arse. I mumble, “Please Jaxx be ok. Just let me hear your voice right now so I know everything will be ok.” Suddenly I hear a hissing sound coming from behind me. I look around but I don’t see anyone around. As I hold my tears back and listen quietly I hear a sound close by. As I listen closely it resembles an old man with asthma.

http://www.gotwavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=Star_Wars"e=breath.txt&file=breath.mp3

Suddenly I hear Darth Vader say, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

http://www.hark.com/clips/fffvztxmzq-i-find-your-lack-of-faith-disturbing

I am suddenly overwhelmed by both fear and hope as I pray the voice I just heard belongs to my Jaxx. Before I can utter any words I see movement in the sand as a skutter claw pops out of the sand and looks around to see me. I am in awe as I a rush of feelings flood my mind and body. Jaxx asks, “Chill out Eve babe, your like gonna make yourself sick like that.” I reply, “Sorry Jaxx this has been a rough past few days. I will try to keep it together.” Jaxx replied, “When we get home and I like get my awesome body back I totally promise to do that honeymoon with you ok?” I can’t help but smile as Jaxx tells me what I need to hear.

After I help Jaxx out of the sand we begin walking around till we find a large tent with some Arabic guy and his exotic dancers relaxing. I ask, “Hello can you tell us where we are?” The Arabic Man looks at me as he says, “Well it looks like I just found a new addition to my harem.” I am extremely grossed out by this fat old pervert who is approaching me. Jaxx slides up and whips out his holowhips and lashes the old perv in the daddy bags as he says, “The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.”

http://www.gotwavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=Star_Wars"e=forgivng.txt&file=forgivng.mp3

The old fat perv drops to his knees in pain as he whine fully mutters, “I will have my men kill you.” Jaxx rolled up to the old man and grabbed his fave with his claw hand and said, “There is no escape don't make me destroy you."

http://www.gotwavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=MP3S&type=Movies&movie=Star_Wars"e=noescap.txt&file=noescap.mp3

Then I watch as Jaxx pushed the old man down and stared at him as he flexed his claw head. The old perv asked, “Are you Yahweh?” I watched as Jaxx replied, “Of course bro. Now be a good boy and help out this most righteous babe here.” I giggled as the old perv nodded to Jaxx. I am sure Jaxx has no idea who Yahweh is and this old perv thinks he is God now. I think to myself, “Oh wait maybe we are back in the past like that Charles Heston movie “Moses. If that is the case we need to find the others soon.”

At this point the old perv gave me some new clothes, a satchel of food and some money before pointing us toward the next town. I took a deep breath, as I felt better having Jaxx around. He may not be smart, but he has it where it counts. I ask, “Hey Jaxx how come your talking like Darth Vader all the time?” Jaxx replied in his Darth Vader voice, “Sorry Eve, I think this voice is stuck. I totally think something happen to me before came here. I like just can’t remember what it was.” I replied, “Oh by the way that bitch rouge agent shot you with an EMP to knock you out before we made the time jump.” Jaxx nodded as he replied, “Not cool, but I guess it totally worked out since we are still chilly chill.” I found myself smiling again as Jaxx was being his silly self as usual. As I looked ahead I could barely make out the town ahead and wondered if the others were nearby and how we were going to find them.