Characters in this post
View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Jason Tanaka
Leaping over several groups of the critters, Cass barrelled through the door and straight into Tanaka, O'Malley and Pickman, bouncing off Tanaka with a loud “Ooof”, and winding up sprawled on the floor in an undignified heap.
“How fascinating” Pickman pushed his glasses up his nose as he peered down at the Funglings swarming towards them “They seem to be mutating”
Tanaka was more or less unfazed by his and Cass's collision, yet was very much dumbstruck when the towel-clad lady crashed into him. Still, he was quick to apologize and offered his hand to help her up.
"You alright?" he asked.
Cass looked at the trio whilst holding the towel tight around her then looked over her shoulder at the advancing funglings. "Yeah, I'm just peachy." She remarked sarcastically.
"Mr. Pickman, would you be so kind as to offer the lady your lab coat?" O'Malley said.
Pickman, who had apparently been so transfixed by the pandemonium caused by the funglings, hadn't noticed Cass until just then. He immediately turned his back to her, his face red with embarrassment despite having done nothing wrong, and hurriedly removed his coat. "Sorry! Yes! Here! I certainly didn't get a peek at your in and out bits! Just take the coat!"
Cass accepted the coat and put it on, it was better than nothing, and had buttons so it wouldn't open at the slightest provocation. "Thank you."
"Thank god for that," O'Malley said absent mindedly as he turned his attention to the funglings. "Well, it seems our fears have been realized, lady and gentlemen. The fungus has evolved into a sentient being!"
"You know what's going on here, egghead?" Cass asked.
"It's their fault." Tanaka said plainly.
"What???" Cass's gaze turned sinister as she glared at the two scientists.
"I still assert that that blame be placed on the manufacturer of the stasis container!" O'Malley protested. "Cheap Venusian-made piece of junk, it was!"
"We've got the situation in hand, though." Pickman stated. A loud crash as a middle-aged woman smashed her way through a plate glass window, covered in purple helmeted critters, said otherwise. "Well... we've got an idea of how to get it in hand."
"Spill it," Cass said.
"These funglings, as Holly so eloquently dubbed them," O'Malley started, "are the result of a malfunctioning time dilation field that has accelerated their evolutionary process. I believe if we can find the right chemical compound to introduce into their system..."
"If we hit them with the right antifungal we can kill em quick due to their accelerated metabolism." Tanaka interjected, feeling O'Malley would've taken forever to explain. He hefted a modified spray gun with a rotating cylinder, not unlike a revolver, with a number of canisters of anti-fungal agents. "One of these should do the trick!"
"Then let's stop wasting time!" Cass said. She snatched the spray gun from Pickman, who flinched as if she were about to hit him, and the team got to work.
The quartet darted down the corridor and into Cass's room where the funglings were making quite the mess. Tanaka and Cass opened fire on the crowd, opting to first try out the standard anti-fungal spray. The critters regarded it with little worry. One hefted a butcher's knife over its head, shrieking like a banshee as it hurled the knife in Pickman and Tanaka's direction. They ducked, the knife embedding itself into the wall behind them. The fungling laughed a high-pitched, maniacal laugh and bolted into a nearby cabinet.
"Antifungals aren't working!" Cass shouted as she cycled to the next batch and sprayed. Again, the this was ineffective.
Tanaka had to dodge a volley of forks and dove behind the sofa. He spotted a fungling who appeared to be wearing a bra for a hat. Cass, seeing this, violently kicked the toadstool sending it flying into the open trash bin in her kitchen.
One of the new toothpaste-funglings leaped at Pickman and began to vomit mint-flavored toothpaste into his mouth whilst attempting to violently brush his teeth with a pilfered tooth brush.
Tanaka continued to cycle the sprays but soon realized none of them worked. "Smeg!" he cursed and instead used the spray gun as a blunt instrument, smacking the toothpaste toadstool off of Pickman, who was choking on toothpaste.
"They adapt and incorporate various substances into their makeup!" Pickman sputtered. "The time field is continuing to evolve them!"
"We need a better plan..." Tanaka said.
"Retreat!" O'Malley announced.
The group piled out of Cass's quarters, the funglings in hot pursuit.
Oh man, if only there was something that could kill these darned funglings! Where's Plisken and his moonshine when ya need him???