The Letter

Katrina Swete
Her quarters
--------------------
Katrina stretched and sat down at her table. She reached for a
freshly sharpened pencil and a clean sheet of notebook paper. She
began to write.
Darling Seymour,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. If not,
then maybe my words of love and affection will arouse fresh feelings
of pleasure.
How have you been, sweetie? Not too bored and lonely, I hope. And
I know that no matter how you are, you are working your hardest. All
good captains do. (Notice how I said "Good Captains"?)
I'm fine. Nothing to really talk about, no real excitement. I'm
afraid the most outrageous thing I've done since you left is write
this letter. (Be nutty, eh?) I'm sure PITA is having more fun than
me. Come to think of it, I'm beginning to think that there may be
other cats onboard somewhere. I'm hearing strange noises and PITA
seems really interested in something in those dirty vents that I
found him in.
Despite your absence, life continues on the Blue Dwarf. Allie
Fletcher tried to off the whole ship with a poison gas, but was
thwarted in time. Evil Phil almost dropped Tara Cleavage off the
second floor of the promenade, but D'Arcy-Jada Longwood stopped him
and now EP is gone. (Crosses fingers) At the moment, two away teams
are searching a nearby planetoid for a survivor and most likely
facing certain death. So, all in all, things have been normal.
On a sadder note, Christine McKenzie died of lung cancer. It was
so sudden no one had a chance to let it sink in before she passed.
She will be missed. The crew held a joint funeral with the away teams
on the planet to mourn her's and two crew members who were killed
while fighting the enemy on the planet's deaths. It was a real bummer.
I'm sure you'll be glad to know that White Wolf is doing an
excellent job as acting Captain. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if
you came back and the floor of your office was covered in those
shavings put at the bottom of hamster cages. Just kidding, but don't
tell him I said that!
Well, I'll let you get back to your captainly duties. I miss you!
See you soon, cutie.
Love,
Katrina
PS Did I accidentally pack a pair of my underwear in your suitcase?
Katrina neatly folded the paper and placed it in the envelope. She
licked the seal and closed it tight. Katrina immediately gagged.
"Crap!" she exclaimed, looking over the envelope. "Stupid enevelope
glue."

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