ACTION:- Waddya mean were out of mayo?!Posted by
Posted: Dec 7, 2002, 8:56am
"I'm on my way. Why don't you round up everybody for a department head meeting? Cause we're gonna have to formulate an distribute a supply shortage action plan seeing that we aren't getting where with Holly here at the moment. Plus and he's getting a little too dangerous for comfort since, Cain nearly got like a hot dog by 'im."
End Hamtastic snippitypoos.
Who:- Department heads...minus Phil
Where:- Breifing Room
When:- Well..after the snip..obviously
White Wolf, looked worried, as the supplies officer read off the list.
"We really only have cheese and onion flavour ones left?" Jay asked. The supplies officer nodded in response. "Oh dear god....I can't be...." Jay sobbed, crashing his dead down against the table where Alota lay a reassuring hand on his back. She looked up, "Um...Gus.." she asked the supplies officer, in a soft voice she asked "Whats the situation on you know.." she looked at Jay and back to Gus "Lager...."
Gus shook his head. "Lager?...we've got no alchohol full stop!"
Alota bit her bottom lip as Jay screamed out in despair, a blood curdling scream of horror that echoed around the many corridors of the Mining ship.
Alota copped a looked at the clipboard Gus was holding. "Better not point out about the pool cue chalk either"
"WHAT ABOUT THE POOL CUE CHALK?" Jay whimpered, a tone of blind panic in his voice, "We got no chalk?!"
"no honey...we got lots..." Alota lied pressing her fingers against her lips to tell Gus to 'ssh!'.
Jay sat and gibbered, rocking back and forth.
Lloyd took the stand "With Phil's absence I've tried to run the security office...but with riots breaking out across the promenade its not been an easy task!"
"Go on Penny" White Wolf asked, casting a worried glance at Alota who was trying to wrestle a knife away from Jay as he attempted to stab himself.
Lloyd continued, Donover just this morning, sustained multiple head and neck injuries as he got trampled trying to prevent a mob from stealing all the sweet curry sauce packets from McDonalds"
Gus stood, "Yes..um that would be due to the food situaton, we have 17 tins of Kite-Kat cat food, 4 melted mars bars, 1678 irradiated haggis', and 17 million beef curry flavour pot noodles....but only have mustard sauce for them"
"This is just one example" Lloyd continued "Lodo went on a rampage last night becuase the only bananas left aboard were plastic.."
"Ok ok..I get the idea" White Wolf said. "Mr Zodar...I believe you have news too"
Zodar sitting at the table simply said "Fuel"
The department heads turned to listen "For three weeks now, the ships been running on a single pair of underpants...I used the crustiest pair i could find in the ships laundry and..."
Jay interuppted "Dude...thats just disgusting..."
"needless to say it worked, but we have power for three days..then we dead in the water"
Everyone looked at Jay.
"I've gone over the calcualtions over a hundred times"
he said "Even on the most direct route, with the minumum amount of course changes we'll run dry a day before we can get into orbit of the nearest planet"
"But" said Zodar "A small fleet of shuttles could travel to the planet and pick up fuel, or anything we can convert into fuel, scanners show its inhabited so it shouldnt be a problem"
"Only thing is.." Chrysler added "Shuttle fuel is just as bad, but if we siphon off fuel from the majority of the ships we can fill maybe...4 shuttles to max level, then I can use them to fly the fuel and cargo runs"
"So I'm guessing you want me to suck on a hose and do it that way, even if I get Shuttle Fuel in my mouth doing it." Zodar asked
"Yeah, that was the general idea."
"Ok. But if I die, I'll never forgive you..."
"In honesty though captain" Jay said "I have no idea where this planet is..."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not on any of my charts, and Holly wont give me any information. This star system is just shwon to have no planets"
"Holly..." White Wolf asked "What is the place? Why is there no information on this planet"
"Thats classified White Wolf"
"Well you better find a way to un-classify it"
"Im afraid I cant do that"
"Its the damn lockdown.." Alota said, "Thanks to my dear husband here Hollys as awkward as a left-handed person with a can opener"
"HEY!" said Jay offended,.twice..
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