"Smeg! We're on the naughty list!"

Who: Captain White Wolf, Jay, Dean, Lodo, Cerebrum and assorted
unannounced away team members...
Where: Starbug #182/231 and it's various mangled bits.
When: After that spectacular Chrysler launch!
"We should be make atmosphere in two minutes, Captain." calls Jay.
"Okay then - Dean where do you think the best spot for us to land
according to the scanners?" Asked White Wolf.
Dean replies from the co-pilots seat, "hmmm well, there's a whole bug
of signs of civilization all over the planet... Oh, wait a minute.",
Dean dusted off the screen, "Sorry, those were just a bunch of
toastie crumbs. MMmmm... Okay, there's a pretty big heat signature
dead ahead on heading 324, 36, 234."
"That's over on the night side, I'm heading for it." Says Jay while
turning the flightstick and the Starbug on the new heading.
[Meanwhile, in a sensor installation down the planet being manned by
a whole bunch of short guys with pointy ears dressed in red and green
uniforms making the whole place seem striaght out of some crazy
Fantasy & Sci Fi convention...]
One of the short pointy eared guys who was watching a radar screen
suddenly picks up a phone and says, "I'm sorry to interupt your
dinner break Sir, But the scanners have detected something."
There was a pause as the person on the other end asked something.
"Yes sir, we're trying to get a complete make on it now. So far,
we've found out it's a one of the commerical class Starbugs."
There was another pause as the person on the other end said something
else.
"No sir, we haven't detected any weapons or missile launches yet.
But, we are keeping an eye on it in case it does." The short pointy
eared guy paused, as another short pointy eared guy came up behind
him, and whisper something to him, "Sir, I've just been informed that
we've got a slight better make on the craft, it's one the Jupiter
Mining Corporations Starbugs. We haven't got a specific ID as to
which one it's from yet, but it does seem to be heading this way."
There was a third pause as the person on the other end suddenly gave
some orders.
"Yes Sir, going to Yellow alert, and engaging Electronic Counter
Measures!" said the short pointy eared guy.
[Elsewhere our intrepid Blue Dwarfer begin to realise their dealing
with some Cagey quarry...]
Jay calmly pilots the Starbug along the planets icy surface while
looking out the windows very intently and inquires, "Are you sure
this is where the scanner said there was signs of civilization?
Because I'm not seeing anything but frozen wasteland."
"Yes, I'm sure! Have faith in my ability to read the Starbugs
sensors, man! I know them like the back of my hand." comments Dean,
while raising his palm face up in example and pointing to it.
"That's your palm, Dean! Not the back of your hand." replies Jay
sarcastically, after glancing at him.
"I knew that." says Dean flipping his hand over, "I can read these
sensors, like right now they indicates it's 35 degree out there,
er... make the 35 below... I overlooked the blinking minus sign."
"As my mother would say, 'It's looking like a mild Minnesota winter
out there.'" joked White Wolf from his seat at the ops station.
"Well, I guess you better turn on the heaters if we're find this
place Dean, because my windows are already fogging up." replies Jay.
Dean flicks a switch.
"That's the windshield wipers, Dean.", Comments White Wolf
pointing, "This is the heater switch."
"I knew that... I just thought we oughta try wiping the snow off them
first." Lied Dean.
"Well foggy windows aside, I still don't see anything that looks like
buildings or a big artifical heat source anywhere around here.",
remarks Jay.
"Smeg!!! It's gone off the scanners!" blurted Dean.
"What's gone?" asks the overgrown hamster.
"That heat signature I was tracking." replies Dean while looking
gobsmacked and gesturing towards the small screen in front of him.
"You must be reading that scanner wrong. How could you lose an
artifical heat signature in this frozen place?!? If you've lost that,
we'll have wasted ton's of precious fuel and possibly peoples lives
on a wild goose chase!" Snaps Jay.
"I'm telling you, it just disappeared!" replies Dean defensively,
frantically flipping switches and twisting dials in a effort to bring
it back.
"Just calm down, let me help you Dean." said the large hamster as he
got up from his seat at ops station, and while glancing over Dean's
shoulder, flicked a couple of switched, "That's odd... it's almost as
if someone down there was using an geographic area electronics
jamming system like the one I theorized could be made during my
intelligence & espionage days. But a working model was never made,
because the power drain would've been simply staggering and very
difficult to manage."
The puzzled hamster rubbed his chin mumbling, "But I wonder... If
someone is using such a device, would they have remembered to shield
it's negative traverse effect on the gravity waves it would have?",
then he flicked another set of switches.
"AH HA!" Exclaimed the huge hamster, as the area on the scanner where
the heat signature suddenly lit up again indicating something was
there, "Our hide and seek civilization is on heading 333, 14, 180!"
"Got it. That's right over the other side of this ice mountain," Said
Jay while looping the Starbug around it, and punching the
thrusters, "We should be there in just a few seconds."
[Back at the a sensor installation down below...]
The short pointy eared radar operator dude spoke into the phone
again, "Their getting awfully close Sir, they must have penetrated
our counter measures."
There was a pause as the person on the other end rapidly gave another
order.
"Yes Sir, Engaging the invisibility field!"
[And back on the Starbug as it flys over the ice mountain...]
Jay "It should be right over he...."
Jay stopped suddenly as he tried to veer the Starbug to the left as
a banner stating 'Chrismastown Dance school, Public Penguin
Recital' suddenly appeared in the middle of the clear sky in front of
the bug, and the Starbug's hull went >>>GRRUNNNNGGeeee<<<< as the
whole ship shuddered as it suddenly smashed it's way through the
front of the building that was behind the banner, shearing the top of
the Starbug off as it went on through the building and
landed on a danceroom floor as several Penquins were swinging to a
tango...
The hamster, Jay, and Dean all sat dumbfounded for a moment in the
cockpit as all of the firealarm warnings started going off.
"Did we just get a Penquin alert?" said Dean looking surprised as
some melted cheese dripped from his toastie into his lap as Jay
yelled "We're on fire! Everybody out!"
Dean jumped up, and fled from the cockpit screaming, "OW!!! Hot! HOT!
Scalding HOT!". White Wolf spun out of his seat grabbing a nearby
fire extingisher as Jay & him ran after Dean.
Within seconds, everybody had bailed out of the Starbug and were
amongst the Penquins, as White Wolf sprayed down Dean with some foam.
Dean stopped dancing around trying to flick the hot cheese off his
pants for a moment, and looked back through the hole in the building
they just made with the starbug, then spun around an ran away
screaming "BEAR RAID! ... BEAR RAID!!!!!"
White Wolf who was facing the opposite direction turned to Jay and
asked, "Did I just hear him right? Did he say 'Air raid'?"
"Dunno", said Jay as he shook his head, "Must be the fumes from the
fire - Maybe he met Gatorade..."
"Well that's makes two of us then..." says the huge hamster as they
both turn and see a bunch of Polar bears in uniform quickly
approaching.
Then first one whipped out a pair of handcuffs and said, "Your all
under arrest for multiple publc violations - flying in
christmastown's air space without Santa's permission, reckless
driving, distrubing the peace, wanton destruction of public property.
And I think several of you are going to be on Santa's naughty list
this year."
<TAG!>