"Gnome Wars" - Bloody Marketing

"You knew that would happen didn't you?" Dean asked Phil
"Nope..in the manual it said it would bring us lots of tanks....but hey ho..."
<END SNIP>
"Well, I reckon it's a marketing ploy...have you got the manual handy?"
"Yeah, catch."
Phil threw the 200lb tome at Dean. Crawling out from underneath it, Dean pulled out a magnifying glass and started reading.
"What are you doing?" yelled Jay, ducking as an RPG flew over his head an exploded on the wall behind him.
"Seeing if we can sue the manufacturers!"
"Good idea <hic>" said Phil,
"Well," said Jasmine, for, having given up on the FBI guy, (who she had rendered out of action with a quick knee to the oh nasty's) she started to head over. "At least if we're gonna go we'll die rich!"
"Exactly!" said Jay, picking up a grenade and flinging it at one of the santa's.
"Ah!" exclaimed Dean, indicating at a point in the text.
"The manufacturers reserve the right to replace the product with something of equal value."
"Damn, so we can't sue them, <hic>" said Phil, firing a bazookoid at a nearby mosquito.
"Who are they anyway?" asked Jas.
"Well," with some effort, Dean turned to the front cover, "Phil FeBuggure Weapons Systems. Oh, if I could get my hands on this Phil Febuggure I'd kill the smegger! Leaving us with elves!"
"Well, feel free." said Jay, "he's right behind you."
"So, it's our Phil is it?" asked Dean, suddenyl realising.
"Yessss." said Jay sarcastically, "now start fighting you useless git!"
 
Dean Thomas - 2 in a day from me. Blimey.