Home sober home

Who: Canazza, Timmy
Where: Canazza's quarters
When: 1984
'Another one bites the dust' played it's rhythm through the room's speakers.
Canazza lay on his bunk for the first time in months, strangely it wasn't at all dusty considering they had left it for so long.
He was too tired to realise they had jumped back to just a week or so after the ship appeared, he had spent most of the morning in engineering making sure everything was shipshape.
Which, again unusually, was so. They appeared to have more fuel than when they last checked, probably due to the massive rush of crap into the ram scoop when the dwarf jumped, and the systems were working 110% of normal, which was fine, because that meant everyone could have the rest of the day off.
Timmy had left several hours ago for Parrots, apparently there was some kind of shindig happening there, but spending the past few weeks without alcohol made Canazza appreciate being sober, for example, he actually REMEMBERED what happened the previous night (he had beans on toast for dinner and fell asleep on the scanner table at 9) - and so he decided to stay away from the bar, for now anyway.
There was a rabble coming from down the corridor, drowning out Canazza's thinking.
He turned up his 'Queen' album and ignored it.
Timmy entered the room waving a bottle of liquor with the label sodden and half-peeled off.
"Eyy!" he slurred, "Wher've joo beeen?"
"In here" He replied just as several women entered in behind Timmy, wearing little more than dental floss around their parts, and rather oddly shocked expressions on their faces, "Who are they?"
"They followed me here, they think shmall ishh beutishful" Timmy staggered over to coffee table and slammed down his bottle, he turned to find the ladies were gone, "Where did they gooo?" he ran out of the room and looked around the corridor, "They've dishapeared"
"Actually," Canazza said, holding up a pistol, "I shot them"
"You bashtard, you murdering bashtard"
"Timmy, they were blow-up dolls" - it was true, the deflated dolls trailed behind Timmy on a wire.
"But I wash talking too them"
"Yeh, then they probably realised how pissed you were and tied you to a couple of blow-up dolls and made for the door"
Timmy cocked his head quizzically to the side and promptly toppled to the ground with a quiet thud.
"Yup" Canazza thought, "Definitely staying sober"Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Shoot that bloody St. Bernard, I don't want any whisky