Niples+Efof "Job openings"

<snip>
Efof walked in a daze and found himself on the promenade which was
looking a little singed. Although there was an interesting new
development...
<end snip>
Seymour Niples
Les Royal Niples
Promenade
Seymour had done himself proud, in only a few days he had turned the
old abandoned `le Regal de Mackenzies' back into a grand restaurant,
in fact grander than it once was. He was very particular about the
style and of course wanted it to look as posh as possible, fit for a
Queen as it were, unfortunately the Queen was more interested in the
CD shop across the road.
Efof walked up to the new restaurant. "ooh this is posh!" he said in
awe and shielded his eyes against the glare from the extremely shiny
chandelier.
Seymour beamed proudly at his creation, with an extremely smug look
on his face. "Of course being a Royal Ambassador has certain
privileges, I can afford the best décor, the best interior designers
and the best craftsmanship"
"Is that why that decorator is screwing that light fixture in a bit
wonky?" Efof pointed.
"Excuse me a minute." Seymour said bitterly.
He went inside and brutally attacked the decorator.
He came outside a minute later fanning his fists. "Like I said, A
Royal Ambassador can always get the best quality. What do you think?"
Efof gave it a quick glance and said flatly. "It looks like a
brothel that used to be down the road from my hut back on Ffion."
Seymour fumed.
"This is a palace FIT FOR A QUEEN!" He said and then turned around
realising the Queen was stood on the other side of him.
"Ayup." She said. "Can anyone lend me a fag?"
"Ma'am" he said bowing down on one knee.
"Get up you old wanker!" The Queen majestically said.
"Hello Efof" The Queen smiled. Efof waved, embarrassingly
remembering the fling they once had.
"Yes sorry ma'am." Seymour got up. "Would you like to dine in my new
restaurant, it is now officially open for you!"
"Oh okay then. How come there no bugger else in there?" she said.
"Well as of yet, nobody has matched the entry requirements, this is
a very high class affair and I wouldn't want any scoundrels dining
here."
"Fair nuff, I'll get me some grub!" Queen Brittany-Jennifer said
entering.
Seymour bowed with a big smil on his face, then turned and grabbed
Efof by the collar. "Get in there now and start cooking some grub,
the professional Italian chefs I ordered don't arrive until
tomorrow."
"But I'm supposed to be on a date soon…" Efof whined.
"I don't care!! Just get in the back and cook" The Ambassador
demanded.
"But I have another job!"
"Navigation? Pfft! Its all computerised, you just have to steer the
ship in the right direction every so often, besides- this is space-
its huge! Its not as if we can hit anything! Now get in there!"
Efof put his head down and moped into the kitchen kicking his feet.
---20 minutes later---
Efof brought out a plate of chips to the Queens table and layed it
down. An instant later, Seymour appeared and picked it up again.
"Oi I wanted that!" Yelled the Queen.
"Whats this?" Seymour asked, frowning.
"It's what she ordered" Efof defended.
"But its not on the menu, we only cook exquisite food here, what
about the duck a `orange? the Cajun lobster with stuffed peppers?
The minted courgette and cherry tomato sauté, the banana and mango
yogurt kulfi? Food fit for a Queen."
"She just wanted a plate of chips! I'm just doing what she says!"
Efof was almost in tears and didn't know why Seymour was having such
a go at him.
"Well do what I say, put that in the bin and go back and start
cooking a lobster!"
He took Efofs chefs hat from his head and started hitting him with
it to make him move faster. The alien yelped and ran back to the
kitchen.
Efof went straight through the kitchen, and through the back exit.
Where he headed straight for Kara's quarters.
Efof found Kara on her way to work and hugged her as soon as he
did. "Seymour's being mean!" He whined like a child. "He always
treats me like his slave, for no reason!"
The situation was uncomfortable, they hadn't even gone on a date
yet, Kara tried to push Efof away but he clinged to her.
"Erm… Efof, you have to stand up for yourself. You just have to go
and tell him not to boss you around!"
Efof pulled away. "You're right, I'd have never thought of that!!!"
Kara rolled her holographic eyes.
Efof ran back to the Promenade.
---Les Royal Niples---
Efof walked into the restaurant with newfound confidence bestowed
upon him from Kara.
There were a few more people in the restaurant now, all eyes turned
to the alien as he walked in with an imposing presence. People
stopped eating, and sipping their wine to watch.
Seymour who was taking the order of a table at the back turned and
looked at him.
Efof wanted to dramatically upturn a table but didn't want to upset
the people at the first table he came across so instead picked up a
breadstick and snapped it in half, and threw it on the floor
(quietly apologising to the people he's got crumbs on)
"Efof!" Seymour shouted.
Wild Western standoff music played in Efofs mind as he walked slowly
towards Seymour.
In Efofs mind, this is what happened:
"I don't like the way you boss me around!" Efof said in a deep voice
borrowed from Arnie.
"Boss you? I asked you politely!" Seymour said, playing to the crowd.
"I'm not stupid Seymour!"
"Erm.. yes, yes you are Efof."
"Oh yeah. Okay well maybe that's true. But I still don't have to be
bossed around by you!"
"But Efof, I need you. I only had your interests in heart, look at
you, you're an alien- you don't fit in. I'm taking care of you,
giving you a normal chance in life!"
Efof walked up to Seymour and smacked him across the face.
"Okay Efof, I will never be mean to you again!!! In fact I will do
anything for you, I can be a Ffionian Ambassador, not a poxy Royal
one!"
"That's better!" Efof dramatically said.
But in reality, Efof marched up to Seymour and said. "I don't wanna
work for you" and ran off.
"Hold on a minute!" The Ambassador ran after him. "Why are you not
working for me?"
"Erm… well… I um… I got another job!" Efof lied.
Seymour crossed his arms. "Oh yes. Where exactly?"
"In ummm… in parrots! In fact I start right now!" Efof lied again
and walked into Parrotts, not expecting Seymour to follow.
Efof nervously walked behind the bar, Seymour still watching him.
Barman Owen Numan watched as Efof nervously walked up alongside him.
"What are you doing here?" Owen said.
"I ehhh…" Efof said as Seymour continued to watch him, arms folder,
scowling.
"I'm working here!" Efof said boldly.
Owen looked confused. Then after an awkward pause lifted his
eyebrows. "Okay then fair enough, clear them glasses from table 8
and mop the dancefloor overthere."
Efof was taken aback. "Um… okay yes sir!" He went and cleared the
table and stuck his tongue out at Seymour as he went.
<"Why do we care who becomes president of the earth, we live in the
united states!"
"The united states is PART of the earth fry"
"Wow thing sure have changed!"
-Futurama >