Coming Aboard Without Even Knowing It

((Flight Deck))
Jack Dontno woke up...and it was dark. At first he thought it might
be because of the awful hangover he had, and then secondly that his
eyes were closed. When he realized that his eyes *were* open, it
suddenly hit him that it was just dark.
"What happened?" he wondered aloud.
He tried to stand up and found he couldn't when his head hit
something hard and unyielding.
"Owww...!" he exlcaimed.
He rubbed at his head, and was surprised to feel some cloth-like
material on it.
"Probably my hat..."
Figuring that he should find out where he was, he reached out and
felt his surroundings. It felt like he was in a...a cargo container?
He puzzled over that fact for a moment before coming to the
conclusion that this was some prank played by his friends on him
after he had passed out at his bachelor party.
"Ok guys...fun's ov...ov...er!" he said as a sudden feeling in his
gut began.
Doubling over, he spilled his guts to the dark container.
"Ohhhh..." he moaned, wiping his mouth on his arm sleeve.
Like any good officer he didn't want to be found near the mess he
made, so he began to search for a door. He crawled around, feeling
the sides of the container.
"Hey! Stop that you pervert!" exclaimed a female voice suddenly and
from nowhere.
Jack stopped and listened, when he didn't hear the voice again, he
began his search anew.
"You sicko! Didn't you hear me? S-t-o-p!"
Stopping again at the voice's sudden reappearance, Jack decided it
wasn't his imagination. With a sudden feeling of dread, he feared
that the voice may be coming from one of the strippers from his
bachelor party. Would his friends put him in a cargo container with a
stripper? With a sinking feeling, he realized that yes, yes they
would.
"Uh, are you a stripper?" he asked of the dark.
"Stripper? Stripper? You think...? You men are all really sick, you
know that? Thinking a Class S cargo container AI a stripper. I'm not
stripping any paint off my sides for you, bub."
Jack just layed there, shocked.
"So you're not a stripper?"
"No," the AI answered.
"Can you let me out?" he asked hopefully.
There was a moment of silence, then...
"How much you got?"
It was Jack's turn to be silent a moment.
"What?"
"Do I have to spell everything out for you? How much money do you
have?" the AI asked.
He couldn't believe this, he was being blackmailed by a cargo
container. Reluctantly, he fished around in his pocket.
"Six bucks..."
"All you have is six bucks? Looossseeerrr!"
Jack gritted his teeth as the cargo container continued chanting
loser...
"Do you want the money or not?" he snapped.
"Sure. Just stick it in my fee slot."
"Where is it?" he asked.
"Right here loser," the cargo container said as a little light
appeared and began blinking.
"Right..." he muttered, inserting the six dollars into the slot.
"Ooohhh...that feels nice. Your insertion was puurrfect," the cargo
container purred.
Jack didn't want to think about what *that* implied...
"Are you going to let me out now?"
"Yeah...welcome to the JMC Blue Dwarf," came the reply and light
appeared through a widening crack as the lid to the container opened.
What the cargo container said hit him like a brick through a
windshield.
"The what?"
But there was no answer, so he crawled out. He stood up to find
himself standing in his crumpled dress uniform wearing panties as a
hat. Looking around he saw that he was in front of a row of cargo
containers on a flight deck.
"Oh..."
-Jack Dontno, Military Consultant
<tag anyone>
OOC: My first post...hope it's up to the group's standards ;)