Condimentary Medicine

Who: Jay, Tara, Keto
Where: Psychiatric Offices
When: But what, truly, IS time?
===============================
<<SNIP>>
> "he gave his life for us, now thats a hero...
> we've got to go, theres no time left" said Jay,
> mourning for his friend and colleague as they
> dropped down into the psychiatric offices,
> which hadn't been touched yet... strangely.
<<END SNIP>>
Very distant sounds of ensuing carnage echoed down the air vents.
"My medibay!" whimpered Keto, "It's going to be decimated!
Deconstructed! Destroyed!"
"As we probably will be too, if you don't get a smegging move on
and make a counter-ointment!" snapped Jay, pointing at the ointment
that Tara had picked out, which Keto was still clinging on to...along
with the jar of mustard, "And will you drop that damn thing?"
"No. It's mine," sniffed Keto, heading over to a desk. Jay winced
unexpectedly, not quite knowing why, then followed, glancing
nervously at the door.
"Does anybody else think it's weird that this place is completely
untouched?" asked Tara as they stood by the desk, Keto taking
ointment samples with a small chemical testing kit that he removed
from inside his coat, "As in, completely untouched? As if no clones
have ever been in here?"
"No," replied Keto, not even turning around, "These are Cerebrum's
offices. No clones in their right mind would come in here. Or
clones in their wrong mind, in fact. It's quite a worrying fact that
WE'RE here, if you must know!"
"But where's Cerebrum?" frowned Jay, wandering slightly and peering
behind the furniture carefully, "Shouldn't he be here? And if he's
not, then why would the clones avoid this place? Surely Cerebrum's
the scariest thing in here, right?"
"Not with you here," muttered Keto under his breath. As he mixed a
few reactants on the desk, they began to smoke, giving off a nasty
sulphurous stench, "Hmm..."
"They haven't even tried to break through the door," pointed out
Jay, tapping it experimentally. The metal didn't even echo, "How
thick ARE these doors?"
"Cerebrum can turn his offices into a spacecraft, remember?"
pointed out Tara, looking worriedly at Keto as the smoking patch on
the desk grew larger, "They're probably as thick as an airlock."
"Pfft, not a patch on the Phoenix," sniffed Jay, tapping the panel
next to the door carelessly, "Look, there's not even any security
codes on these things. You can open them no problem."
Keto suddenly jumped bolt upright, spinning around, "CEREBRUM WITH
NO SECURITY CODES!? IT'S A TRAP! GET DOWN!"
All three of them dropped to the floor seconds before six ceiling
panels fell to the ground, revealing giant meson cannons that burned
a line in the wall just above groin height, before retracting once
again. The trio stood up, Jay somewhat shakily. The meson cannons
had fried a couple of his hairs, inches away from actually
lobotomising him.
"Spectacular," spat Keto, "Chrysler, that was a monumentally stupid
thing to do! If you weren't so careless, perhaps things wouldn't be
in quite such bad shape around here!" With that, he stood up,
knocking over the jar of mustard on the still-smoking desk.
"I..." began Jay, but was interrupted as suddenly the entire desk
gave off a shrieking whine, causing all three to instinctively drop
to the floor again. The desk shook, raised about three inches off
the floor, then instantly turned to ash while giving off a wave of
heat that singed Keto's eyebrows. The ash fell to the floor,
covering him and Tara, who immediately began coughing.
"You were saying I was careless, doc?" asked Jay from across the
room beside the door, raising an eyebrow. Keto glared at him.
"I think *cough* we've found the counter-ointment," managed Tara,
indicating the combination of mustard and ointment reactants now
spilled on the floor.
"Let's get *splutter* to work," wheezed Keto, scraping up the mess
and returning to his reactant kits, "I'll make *cough* some more.
Cleavage, you can help me. Chrysler..."
"Yes?"
"Open that door again, would you?"
"Smeg off."
================
OOC: Tag people. :)