*ACTION* Another one bites.....something not very pleasant...Posted by
Posted: Dec 31, 2004, 9:57am
Who:- Jay, Phil, Dean
When:- After Efof's funeral.
"I think it's a fantastic idea..." said Jay "One we should put to Owen IMMEDIATLEY!"
"Woah woah woah..." said Phil "We need to test the idea first!"
"Whats to test?!" Dean piped up "Just clone 'em, whack a tray on their shoulders...you know like R2-D2 in Return of the Jedi, and unleash em!!"
"Yes but look what happened last time we cloned a midget! He's a pervert! Theres no way we could unleash hordes of them into Parrots to act as midget drinks caddies on a saturday night when half the female population of the Blue Dwarf are in here in mini-skirts!"
"Aaahh yeah" said Jay, Dean, Phil and every other bloke in the bar in unison "Saturday Mini-skirts...."
"See my point?!" Phil said.
"Yes but Mini-Phil is a clone of YOU!" Jay said "We'll be cloning the bar staff!"
"Yes......." said Phil, rubbing his chin in a train of thought in a rather super-villain-esque way.
It wasn't rare for the trio of friends to talk complete cobblers at a pub, tongihts subject had been one of great interest. 'can we clone the bar staff like Rufus did Phil and make midgets into drinks caddies"
Completley un-politically correct. Completley offensive. Completley drunk. But hell, it got their minds of Efof's demise.
The mood switched rapidly, as a commotion came from outside, a loud clattering, followed by gunfire, followed by resounding "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
The whole crowd within the bar leapt up, and ran to the doors, Phil and Jay pushed through, being the most senior staff in the bar.
Mini-Phil was clawing his way up the promenade, blood trailing behind him. "EE!!" he pleaded, reaching toward Phil "EEeeEeEeEEeeEeeeeeeeeee!!"
They didnt see what, but something hooked itself on Mini-Phil's foot, and pulled him away sharply, yanking him around the corner out of sight. "EEEEEEEE!!!!!!" he cried "EeeEeeEEEEEeeEEE!" (OOC:- god this dialouges easy to write)
Jay and Phil ran toward the junction, Phil picking up the gun dropped by Mini-Phil but they were to late, before the reached the corner a loud ripping sound was heard. Mini-Phil's body flew around the corner in two halves. Torn in two at the waist, the lower half of which landed crotch first in a mini-skirted female pub-goers face. Jay dashed around the corner, foolishly unarmed. Whatever it was that had been there, was gone.
Phil turned to the crowd, spotting Mini-Phil's lower half attached to the face of the young woman, as she lifted it from herself afterbeing knocked to the floor by the force, his trousers had fallen from thier lack of belt and the girl had his bare flesh in her face.
"Its....." said Phil "It's what he would have wanted."
<tag! same as what onion said, dont find out what's causing this yet>
-----Original Message-----From: rambomageesh [mailto:rambomageesh@...]Sent: 29 December 2004 15:30To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] More down and outOOC- Respect for drinking over a bathtub full of bootleg spirits Mr adam!<clip>Johnny took another bite of his first pizza, and didn't wince asmuch as the first time. After three more bites, he didn't wince atall, and after a couple more, started to eat it quickly."Oh yeah, this is great food." Johnny spoke through his mouthful offood."Mine's not bad either." Keats said. "These perfitteroles are really good."<end clip>Jack and Melissa were munching slowly, Melissa was noticeably avoiding looking at Jonny, who was spraying a thin film of pizza base across the table and causing small fireballs if he got to near the candle. He took a swig of a Vodka spiked milkshake and shiverd. He was getting noticeably and noticeablier less stable.'So! Jonny, what exactly is it you do?' Amber inquired.'Me? I uhh, pilot stuff, yeah!''Huh.... i see'The waitress came over to the table again, Jonny had tipped her each time she came to the able, shes doubled her pay for the week just in tips, and wasnt about to give up now.'Is there anything more i can get for you sir?''Nah nah, my names Jonny, Miss... ehhhh.... Aarleecffe?''Alice, but thats not my real name''Come have a drin with us!''Well i don get off shift shortly...' she smiled at Jonny, who winked with both eyes.'Well, aint this good! weve all got someone, ive got Melissa, Jonnys got as of yet unnamed cocktail waitress.. ohh, except you and Amber of course... heh.. wouldnt it be funny if you two were together.. hypothetically of course'Keats had just stood up to go to the lav. He turned and said'Well, actually, you know me and Amber ar-' He doubled over and fell on the table behind them as Amber let loose an elbow into his more sensative regions, sending a 14" Hawain, and his pizza flying across the room.'Yeah, well hypothectically i think hes the most jumped up, egotistical, animal fancying reaking little piece of slime that ever dribbled out of the great petri dish in the sky!'The Table went silent, except Keats who kept counting to three and crying on the floor behind them. Quilibet had floated round behind Jack.'So... no chance anyhting will happen between you to? Good, wouldnt want me neice to fall in with the likes of him' Jack laughed.Quil bit him on the ear and darted away before he managed to turn round.'What the hell was that?''Preeee!' chirped Quilibet from Keats pocket.<tag>...Protecting the universe from the scum of the Earth...www.BlueDwarf.co.uk