Actionette - "Exxon Shandeez"

Who: Captain Glen Morgan
Where: Aboard the star-tanker "Exxon Shandeez"
When: After the Raven crew destroyed the weapons turret
Captain Morgan sat in the tiny cockpit of the behemoth that was his
star-tanker. The huge tanker was parked up in a long queue outside
the hyperpetrol station at the ponds-forge hyperspace junction near
Barnards star.
He sat awkwardly in his dirty and messy cockpit, looking down at the
queue of parked starships in front of him.
"Feckin petrol strike!" He cursed, and shunted his huge tanker
towards the ship in front, causing the 200 x smaller ship in front
to panic and speed off into hyperspace.
Captain Morgan tapped his fingers on his dashboard, then poured
humself a whiskey.
"I know… I know I shouldn't drink… but only a small one…" he said in
an Irish accent and pored himself a huge glass of whiskey and gulped
it down.
"Ah well, it was small… compared to this tanker!"
His mission was simple. His tanker was filled with 10,000megatonnes
of beer, that he was taking to the front line. It had been
discovered by the Blue Dwarf two years ago that beer had an
extremely volatile effect on the Hymenoptera, so he was taking this
to the Space Corps fleet on the border of Hymenoptera space.
So far he had only travelled in Space Corps controlled space, so was
pretty safe, but if he got any closer to the fringe he could come
under Hymenoptera attack. He was to meet a fighter escort in the
next system that would escort him safely to the fleet.
---- A few hours and a few whiskeys later -----
The `Exxon Shandeez' approached the system spinning out of control.
Captain Morgan dizzily spun the massive tanker into a parking orbit
around a nearby moon and hiccupped. His escort ships weren't here
yet, luckily for him they hadn't seen his drunken driving.
He passed the time with another whiskey and a little singsong, but
still his escort didn't arrive.
He looked at his watch, and tried to steady his eyes on it. "Wha the
feck…. Eeey… where are those sober lobcocks?!"
-------------------
Who: Captain of the SC Ark Royal
Where: The fleet, on the border of SC controlled space
When: Same time
The captain of the Space Corp's flagship "Ark Royal" quickly put his
toupee back on. The last blast from a Hymenoptera ship had knocked
him to the floor.
The Space Corps fleet was under attack; two large cruisers had taken
them by surprise by hiding in a nearby soupy-green nebula. Now the
ships and all their many small Hymenoptera fighters surrounded the
entire fleet in bitter warfare.
"I could really use some beer right now." Said the Captain,
scrambling back onto his chair. Their Drive-Room sparked and shook
from another hit.
"Now isn't the time to think about drink!" Said his first officer.
"No I mean… our beer cannon. We would stand a better chance against
the Hymenoptera if we had the right weaponry. We have a fully
working external beer cannon onboard that could take out those huge
warships…
"Then why don't we use it?!" asked the first officer.
"We're all out of beer."
"What?"
"Well the crew were thirsty, its boring out in space!"
A daddy-long-legs shaped hymenoptera splattered on the windscreen
and the ship jolted from another blast.
"Do you call THAT boring!" said the first officer.
The captain took a deep breath. "We were expecting a beer shipment
by tanker soon, but all our ships are…otherwise engaged… with the
enemy."
The first officer thought for a second. "I saw a support ship from
that Blue JMC ship earlier. If they're still in the area they could
escort the tanker here."
-----------------------
Who: Dean, Efof, MK7 and KatZ
Where: Raven
When: After they blew up the turret
As the small crew of the Raven celebrated their minor victory, a
call came into their ship, it was the first officer of the Ark
Royal. He explained the situation and gave them the coordinates of
the star-tanker "Exxon Shandeez".
"Your mission is to escort the `Exxon Shandeez' to our position. It
is vitally important that it reaches us undamaged, and with all beer
intact."
Dean and Efof grinned.
"The Hymenoptera will no doubt know of its importance as a weapon
and will try to destroy it. And one last thing… DON'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT DRINKING THE BEER!!!"
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