Niples - "Hand over the terrorist"Posted by
Posted: Oct 30, 2005, 6:49am
Who: Ambassador Seymour Niples
Where: His ambassadorial quarters
When: Early morning
Seymour was in the shower when his intercom rang to the tinny theme of
Bohemian Rhapsody. He grunted in annoyance at the tune, which he
hated. The Queen had insisted he use it so that he knew it was her
calling. He had preferred the theme of "God save the Queen" but she
said it was outdated and twee.
Seymour rushed out of the shower wearing a dressing gown and had a
towel wrapped around his head. He sat in front of the vid screen and
turned it on. The Queen's face appeared.
"Ma'am." He said.
"Seymour! Nice towel you big puff."
Seymour twitched and cut to the chase. "Ma'am what can I do for you?"
"Well I have interesting news. I met up with the only remaining Space
Corps ship yesterday and had a one-night stand with its Captain "
Seymour sighed and hung his head. If only she'd at least pretend to be
like a proper Queen he'd be happy.
" Any way, he said that the Blue Dwarf was now considered an enemy of
the Space Corps because it's harbouring terrorists."
"Terrorists? We have pickpockets, thieves and numbskulls, but I wasn't
aware of any terrorists oh. He means Chrysler doesn't he?"
"Yep. And by the looks of it if you don't turn him over, they'll come
"Oh dear." Said Seymour. "Is it a big ship?"
"That's not the point Seymour! The point is, I like the Blue Dwarf,
people know I do. And people know that I have a Royal Ambassador
onboard. So anything you do is a reflection on me! And I don't want to
be associated with terrorists!"
"So I want you to do something about it. Get that acting-Captain of
yours to turn him over, or do it yourself."
"Yes ma'am. I understand ma'am."
He turned the screen off and sat in silence, thinking about his plan
of action. He could contact the Space Corps ship right now and get
them to come get Chrysler, but the only radio with Space Corps
encryption frequencies was in the Drive Room, there was no way of him
using them without Phil knowing.
And even when he did contact the Space Corps, Phil could just use the
wormhole Drive to escape as far away as possible.
Seymour knew what he had to do. He got dressed, grabbed a hefty wooden
antique lamp and headed down to Engineering.
Who: Phil, Jay and Seymour
Where: Drive Room
When: After Seymour had been to engineering
Seymour entered the Drive Room and ordered everyone to leave.
"Excuse me?" Said Phil. "I'm the Captain now."
"Well yeah " Phil said, almost embarrassed. "But still more Captain
than you!" he grinned.
"I want to talk." Seymour said. Phil nodded and made everyone else
leave apart from him and Jay.
"I hear from the grape vine that the Space Corps is after us."
"Don't worry, they only have one ship." Said Jay.
"That's not the point." Said Seymour bitterly at Jay. Seymour, like
many others still hadn't forgiven Jay for what he had done. He knew of
course that he hadn't been acting himself, but in Seymour's opinions
he still couldn't be trusted.
Phil and Jay looked at each other. "Don't worry Seymour, we'll sort it
all out, we have a plan."
"Does the plan involve handing over the terrorist?" Seymour pointed to
"Well no." said Phil.
"Than it's not good enough." Said Seymour. "Now stand aside and let me
use the radio to give the Space Corps our coordinates."
"I'm sorry Seymour, I can't let you do that." Said Jay standing in
front of the radio.
Phil tried again to reason with him. "Listen Seymour, just trust us.
It's a very good plan, honest."
"Besides even if you contact the ship, we'd just wormhole-jump away."
"Not anymore. I took it offline." Seymour said smugly.
"You did what?!"
"I hit it with a very expensive antique lamp. A good one too, I'm sad
to have broken it. But I'm that sure that I'm doing the right thing.
It'll probably only take a few hours to repair, but thats all the time
the Space Corps need to get here. Chris Harris tried to stop me so I
had to hit him too, went down quietly like a sack of potatoes. I don't
think he can feel anything though. Oh don't worry I called Dr Keto,
he'll be fine. Now stand aside and let me use the radio!"
He pushed past them both and picked up the radio microphone, and
pressed a button to transmit on Space Corps frequencies.
"This is the JMC Blue Dwarf to Space Cor-"
There was a whack and Seymour fell to the floor.
"Was that really necessary?" Asked Phil as Jay retracted his fist.
"Of course! He was going to contact the Space Corps! And it was fun!"
"Yeah, okay. But let me do it next time eh?" Phil grinned.
Seymour woke up finding he was tied to a chair in the middle of an
empty cargo hold.
"What the hell is going on, release me at once! I'm a Royal Ambassador
"I'm sorry Seymour, but you didn't really give us much choice."
"Choice? Choice! You could have just pulled me away from the radio or
stomped on my toe or something, you didn't have to hit me. it hurt."
"Well we're both sorry. But you'll have to stay down here until we get
everything sorted out."
"The Space Corps just don't understand. We can't let them or you mess
"But this is not fair! This is no way to treat a Royal amb . Oh bugger
Seymour was left alone in the cargo bay.
Or so he thought. After five minutes of pointless shouting and
screaming, something crawled out of the shadows. The savage Hyperdodan
megabeast of Qualm crawled up to him.
"Oh this is just taking the biscuit isn't it?!" Seymour said as the
beast approached him, and tried to struggle free of his bonds.
It jumped at him and he screamed.