Efof - "In ANOTHER stew" pt 1Posted by
Posted: Jul 15, 2007, 12:00pm
Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar and the Apophallationmaster
Where: In a ship that apparently looks like "a big poo"
When: After Efof escaped but got caught again
Then his heart sunk as he was surrounded by Mollopods, pointing sharp
ceremonial weapons at him. Each one was angry that their dinner had
escaped. "So that's where his nose is!" Said one. Efof crossed his legs.
He asked a barrage of questions about the Starbug but none of the
large slugs listened. They just frogmarched him to the kitchen where
he found himself in another large pot full of tepid water. He sighed.
Efof splashed around in the bit pot of water again. At first he was
happy that the supposed method of cooking him was extremely
comfortable, but now he was getting bored.
Over a period of 10 minutes, the water he was sat in had finally began
to get hot. Efof started to sweat as steam came up from the water
around his face. His skin started to hurt as the water boiled around
him. He looked out over the lip of the pot to see a mollopod chef
piling lots and lots of wood around the stove. The large slug looked
up at him.
"Excuse me, could you put a bit of cold water in, it's getting a bit
uncomfortable in here." said the Ffionian sweetly.
The Mollopod laughed. "It's not supposed to be comfortable! Most
humanoids are tastier when they scream up until the end." he then
licked his lips.
Efof sunk back into the water and started to panic. It only now dawned
on him that this was actually quite serious, he was going to be cooked
alive and eaten by some large slugs. He wished he could contact that
French planet they had visited last year and get them to come eat all
the slugs. Or was it only snails that they ate? He never could remember.
The water was becoming so hot now that it was almost unbearable.
Efof's skin turned a nasty shade of red and he started to thrash about
in the pot. Last time he had managed to sway left and right to tip the
pot, but this time the pot had a flat base, so it would have needed
tipping more than 45 degrees to roll fully over.
He started to thrash about, hitting the sides of the pot wildly until
he felt something with his big toe. There was a small crack on the
inside of the pot. He kicked at it and felt it widening. He kicked
again and this time it gave way. A hole appeared in the middle side of
the pot and all the water started to gush out.
Efof felt himself spin as the water drained away through the hole,
sucking him down like water down a plughole.
The chef looked on in terror as boiling hot water flooded his kitchen.
He had time to call the guards before the naked and blistered Efof
flopped to the floor in front of him.
"You're not getting away this time!" The slug said. "You're too
"Why thank you!" said Efof, but realised he wasn't a compliment he
really wanted to hear.
The chef reached for a large meat cleaver and raised it above his
head. "I didn't want to cut you into chops, but it looks like I'll
Efof reacted quickly and defended himself with a rolling pin. Instead
of using it as a shield like anyone else would do, his first thought
was to ram it into the slugs mouth. This took the chef completely by
surprise and started choking. He dropped the cleaver which fell by
it's own weight into the slugs soft head.
Efof gasped as he saw what he had done. But realised he probably
shouldn't stick around for long. Wanting something to cover his naked
body, Efof snatched the chef's apron with the words "Kiss the cook"
written on it. He certainly hoped none of the Mollopods did try to
kiss him as he ran off.
The shuttlebay was the only place he could think to run to. He still
had no idea why there had been a Starbug there, but he hoped it was
still in the same place. He knew that he'd need a quick getaway, which
he could do in a starbug. If he tried to getaway in one of the
mollopods own ships it might take him longer to figure out the controls.
He rounded the corner he had used to get to the shuttlebay before and
looked in. The Starbug was gone.
Efof cursed in Ffionian, which caught the attention of the guards who
were already looking for him. They squelched over, brandishing their
large sharp-looking ceremonial swords.
Efof legged it down a corridor he had never been down. It could have
lead to anywhere, for all it knew it could have lead him directly into
a team of more guards, or into another kitchen with another large pot.
Almost as bad, it lead him into a prison.
Efof sagged his shoulders. He wasn't having a good day so far, but in
five seconds things would start to look up. He saw some movement in
one of the cells, so walked up to the bars for a closer look.
<to be continued - hopefully with a new member on his trial membership!>