Strips and S**Ts

"With respect sir" Dante said "I don't think SHE should be left
alone" he
nodded toward Jayne as he said this.
"Agreed, take her with you, but, give her a weapon and let her help.
yourselves on an open, encrypted comm channel with me" his gaze
switched to
Jayne "This is your chance to prove yourself, don't let me down."
Jayne nodded her acknowledgment.
"Come on" Dante said to her as he led her to a vent in the opposite
direction to the one Jay chose, just as Jay ducked his head in and
disappeared into the blackness of the ducts.
<End clip>
Who: Dante and Jayne
Where: A rather large air vent
When: During the dinosaur rampage
It had been a good 20 minutes since Dante and Jayne had entered the
ducts. Dante was rather to big even for this duct and his body armour
still scrapped along the roof of it, and his knees left scratches
where he crawled and knelt. He was making quiet some noise and
conversation had been nigh on impossible since the journey began.
"Sod this," Dante came to a stop in front of a vent leading into the
corridor below. With a hefty blow with his elbow the grate crashed
down to the floor knocking out a mini triceratops.
"Woops." Dante half smiled as he grabbed the frame with his hands
denting the metal and slowly unfolding himself out of the vent like a
17yr old gymnast. He made a soft landing next to the unconscious dino
and dusted his hands. A small curtsy style cough echoed from above in
the duct and Dante saw Jayne 9ft of the floor in the vent.
Remembering that she of course was a lady and a smaller more delicate
looking lady at that, Dante offered up both hands and gentle lowered
her down. Their eyes met again this time the fire red that flickered
across Dante's eyes in moments of madness was not there and Jayne was
able to see his ghost silver eyes in all there glory, if only for a
few seconds.
"Right," Dante said breaking eye contact and letting go of the
attractive but possible dangerous woman. Dante had forgiven her for
what she had done, he did not think that she had been right to tie
him up and beat him, but Dante did like a bit of pain and not many
people could really hurt him, and this girl did have spunk.
Dante was hot and sweaty in all his armour, he had been wearing it in
prep for the battle on the planet but with only a few slugs on board
at present he decided to lighten the load.
"Excuse me can you just…" Dante did a little turn a round sign with
his hand. "Just for a second, cheers." Jayne did so. But she couldn't
help having a quick peek just as he bent over to remove his leg
protectors. Her eyebrow rose as she turned back to face her front in
a very impressed sort of manor.
"Thanks for that," Dante had sent his armour back to science labs for
a service in the internal mail system that was conviently situated
next to where they were standing. He was now topless and his many
scars shone in the light as he re-holstered all the weapons on
"Okay, we need to sabotage the drive room, that is our main effort.
Now I was thinking that if we go here in engineering first we may
find some distractions for the crew guarding the drive room. And some
way of at least slowing down the Blue Dwarf maybe keep her in orbit.
What do you think?"
"Sounds like a plan!"
"Oh yea Jay wants you armed, as you're his kind of sister maybe he
wants to protect you or maybe he trusts you either way I don't care
because I reckon I could handle you and…." Dante had to pause for a
moment to wipe the blood from his mouth again; it had been freshly
opened by a piece of debris flung at him by another GELF from the
Bloodhound Gang. "As I was saying I could handle you and anything
else that comes after you. But I don't want to sound egotistic or
anything it's just…" A second piece of debris was again flung at
Dante, this time opening up a wound above his left eye.
"Excuse me miss," Dante gritted his teeth and was about to go ape
again, his eyes flickered with the internal fire within. "No," Jayne
held her hand across Dante's massive chest. "Allow me. I owe them
one." Jayne stepped in front of Dante and rolled up her sleeves, she
stood for a minute, stretching her neck and arms, gauging the dog
Gelfs next move. "Right Fido time to play dead, did I say play, I
meant BE!!" The dog turned and darted round the corner Jayne broke
into a run and caught up just out of Dante's view, but before she had
rounded the corner Dante had taken the opportunity to have a look at
the tight view from behind as it jogged down the corridor. "Man, I
LOVE tight jeans." He muttered to himself.
The smile did not last as Dante began cringing as cries and howls of
pain followed what sounded like very hard punches and kicks. Jayne
reappeared just after the sound of a dying dog echoed down a rubbish
chute towards engine burner 13. "That was fun! Right do you still
think you can handle me?"
"Mmmm," Dante thought about his response for a second, "As cute and
as tough as you may be, you'd better take the gun just in case kid."
His arm was at half stretch and he offered one of his personalised
pistols, "Just don't loose it, Kay?" Jayne took the .50cal
pistol, "Bit of a relic isn't it?"
"That my dear friend is a modified .50 calibre desert eagle; it was
one of the most powerful hand pistols in its time and has been looked
after by me since I was small. And has kept pace with all the new
tech stuff with a few alterations."
"Oh ok it will do!"
"It WILL do," Dante took a moment to calm himself, this girl really
new how to flick his switches, he liked it. "Right, what I was think
"Okay, engineering looks clear, I am gonna go in a clear the room.
When I say so, you find the terminal and do what I suggested ok?
Boots ready." Dante and Jayne both checked their new boots which they
had robbed from one of the maintenance bays down the corridor.
"Good luck," Jayne said as Dante was about to leave.
"Don't need luck. I got you." Dante tried not to sound corny but he
knew he did.
Upon entering the control room Dante found no evidence of fighting or
any sign of any one still around. "Okay coast is clear." Dante
stamped his foot on the floor and his boots made a small thud as if a
very large magnetic field had been switched on in the sole. Jayne
entered the room also double checking it for slugs or Gelfs; they had
not seen any since the encounter with the dog Gelf and Jayne felt
slightly uneasy. Dante had his rifle in his shoulder looking over the
sight and round the room. Jayne stuffed her borrowed pistol down the
back of her tight jeans much to the delight of Dante, and approached
a large computer console to the left of the core. "Right I don't have
a clue about this so hang on. Mmmm, okay… maybe, nope, Mmmm, Urhhh???
Bloody Windows NT 2000!!"
"NT 2000, I know that system it's easy just…" Dante lifted the butt
of his rifle and smashed it twice into the console, once into the
monitor and then into the control panel itself. "That should fix it,
by fix I mean break."
Holly appeared at a second screen behind the pair. "What the hell did
you do that for?" He whispered "Why is Dante every time you come in
here you feel the need to turn off the gravity."
"Good it worked then!" Dante stated happily
"Well it will in about 58 second's time." Whispered Holly.
"Holly why are you whispering?" Jayne asked
"Another good damn Chrysler! Well Jayne there is 60 slugs and 5 Gelfs
on there way here now." The computer replied still whispering.
"Let me at them! These boots will keep me on the floor while I batter
those slugs as they float through the air."
"Dante for now, at least, I suggest that we hid in here for a moment."
"Okay, but just till the gravity is off." The disgruntled alien had
been looking forward to his bit of blood shed, but he followed the
pistol that was still between those luscious butt cheeks.
The pair heard the aliens arrive in the control room. "Hey look that
console is all smashed and stuff!" grunted one of the slugs slime
sticking between his lips as he spat every where while he spoke.
"Jayne, I don't mean to poke a hole in this plan of yours to hid in
here but in here is the gent's."
"And? I'm not shy."
"AND! It sounds like NSD is having an almighty S**T!"
"AND!!!!! The gravity is about to….go… off." Dante was cut short as
NSD was cut short. "OWWW no you're meant to be going out not in." The
only closed cubicle opened up. And NSD swam out of the cubicle using
the air friction and his world famous breast stroke to power across
the toilets, his trousers still round his ankles, tackle trailing
behind him. His tackle wasn't the only thing following him. A giant
turd floated after him.
"Urrgh!" Jayne and Dante cringed in unison.
<Tag, Andy, and everyone the gravity is off so have fun floating and
flying round the ship.>

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