Who: Keto, Shakespeare, Unfortunate Crewmembers, Mollopods
Where: Mollopod Sandwich Processing Factory, Mollopod Planet
When: Shortly after the sandwich fillings (crew) were recaptured, and
shortly before several velociraptors were teleported into the same room
Keto struggled, trying to slide his hands out from the chains that
held him to the conveyor belt. It was hopeless. Even covered as he
was in some kind of dressing (he could have sworn it was some type of
french dressing), his wrists weren't quite slick enough to escape from
Either side of him, he could see other crewmembers also secured to
similar conveyor belts, all about to be sliced up and processed into
giant sandwiches. His only consolation was that Shakespeare was there
as well. Hopefully the mollopods would die from an overdose of
Actually, that wasn't too much of a consolation.
"Ah, excuse me," said Keto, clearing his throat. The mollopod tending
the machines paid no attention, so he tried again. "Ex-CUSE me!"
The mollopod turned around and stared dumbly at him. "What?" it
mumbled. Keto got the impression that this wasn't the smartest slug
on the face of the planet - it was operating a sandwich slicer, for
goodness' sake - which could work in his favour.
"I just thought I'd better check," he said, "That none of you are
allergic to ketonins."
The mollopod blinked.
"Ketonins," Keto continued, trying to sound as condescending as
possible. He had years of practice, after all. "You know?"
"Uh...what are those?" asked the mollopod, blinking. Keto's eyes went
wide and he adopted a shocked expression.
"You're preparing all this food and you haven't even checked for
ketonins?" he gasped, "Oh dear. Really, you should inform your
supervisor of this immediately."
"...I *am* the supervisor."
"And so you should be!" nodded Keto, not missing a beat, "After all,
people obviously rely on you to make sure that their food is prepared
safely and, uh, tastily, right?"
"Yup," nodded the mollopod, a smile appearing on its face. This was
rather unsettling on a giant slug, so Keto averted his eyes.
"Right, uh, excellent. Well then, no doubt you'll be aware that
consuming an item high in ketoniates..."
"Didn't you say ketonins?"
"Quite right, I did...uh...they're the, ah, oxidised form.
Obviously," managed Keto, "Anyway, consuming an item high in
ketoniatins can lead to severe physical detriment, particularly if the
item isn't correctly prepared. Of course, unless any of you have been
experiencing pangs of hunger recently, I doubt there's a problem."
The mollopod suddenly looked worried. Keto seized upon the opportunity.
"HAVE you been feeling hungry recently?" he asked. The mollopod
nodded, frightened. "Oh. Oh dear. Do you often feel a desire to eat
foods rich in ketoniates, for example...human beings?"
The mollopod now looked positively petrified as it nodded, shaking.
Keto suppressed a grin.
"Oh my. This could be a severe case. I know these things, I'm a
doctor," he said knowingly, "And, unfortunately, I'm extremely high in
ketonitalias. I'm afraid that if you were to consume a portion of me
you could well suffer an overwhelming overdose of...of that thing I
said. Have you been tested for a keto allergy?"
"N...no!" yelped the mollopod, backing away slightly. Keto allowed
himself to smile reassuringly this time, though it was a struggle to
prevent it from turning into a smile of triumph.
"That's okay, we might have caught it in time," he said, calmly, "All
you need to do is release me and then I can give you the vaccine..."
"AAH! I'M GONNA DIE!" screamed the mollopod, suddenly turning tail
and slithering off away from Keto as fast as it could move. The
doctor blinked. His intention HAD been to get himself released and
then run away as fast as possible. This was not going according to
plan, but at least with the mollopod gone the sandwich-slicing
machines could not be activated.
"It's okay everybody," he said bravely, raising his voice, "I've saved
us all! Just remember when we get out of this that Doctor Charles
Keto saved the day!"
Suddenly there was a loud inrush of air, and a hiss. Keto turned his
A rather irritated velociraptor had just appeared in the corner of the
room. The room full of helpless, strapped-down crewmembers.
"Charles?" called a familiar voice from out of Keto's line of sight,
"Me thinketh your plan be'eth not working!"
"Eat him first!" shouted Keto at the velociraptor.
OOC: Tag anybody still on the mollopod planet, particularly those in
the sandwich room (if any!) :)
Also, my internet was down unexpectedly for a little while, but it's
back up and running now, yay! I've caught up with the recent posts as
best I can, but apologies if I make any small continuity errors - I
know not what I do!