Customer Service

Who: Keto, Trisees
Where: Supply Field B, Red Dwarf
When: During the thiever...uh, 'salvage operation'
"I don't think the Captain will be down here."
"He must be, he's nowhere else," stated Keto. He hoped he was here.
"He might be off the ship, Charles. Might be adventuring out there on
some foolish mission, knowing this ship."
"It doesn't hurt to check."
"Maybe you need time to think it over?"
"I've thought, I've decided. It is the way it is."
The turbo lift sped down the shaft towards its destination, carrying
the two friends.
The lift hadn't travelled far when the onboard speaker crackled to
life and Jed's voice echoed out of it, causing Keto to blink and stare
at it.
"Evenin' ladies and gents, this is ya Cap'n speaking. We've spotted a
lone cargo ship slipping it's lead about 2 lightyears from here.
Anyone who wants to earn a bonus on top of thar wage come meet me in
Flight Deck 1 for a salvage mission."
The speaker cut out with a crackle as the lift continued to descend,
and Keto groaned. He stepped forwards and tapped the "Open Doors"
button hopefully. On the screen next to the door, the visage of an
attractive young lift hostess appeared.
"Thank you for using Xpress Lifts," she said cheerfully, "Please note
that all passengers are requested to remain seated while the lift is
in motion. The doors will remain sealed for the duration of your
journey. Thank you."
The screen went blank. Trisees, frowning, stepped up next to Keto and
pushed the button himself. The screen lit up and the young hostess
appeared again as they both glared at it.
"We notice that you have requested that the doors be opened," she
said, still smiling, "Please note that it is the policy of Xpress
Lifts not to allow the opening of doors during travel. Thank you."
Keto leaned forward and jabbed the button again.
The hostess appeared, and now her smile seemed to be slightly forced.
"Xpress Lifts apologises for any inconvenience, but please note that
it is our policy not-"
Trisees hit the button.
"Xpress Lifts cannot-"
Keto hit the button.
"Xpress Lifts WILL NOT-"
Trisees hit the button repeatedly until the hostess stopped talking,
her smile now barely more than a slight curving of the lips at the
very corners.
Then, with a slight twitch, the full happy and cheerful smile reappeared.
"We notice that you have made several consecutive requests to have the
doors of this lift opened," she said beaming, "While this is not our
policy, we at Xpress Lifts acknowledge that, if a customer has made
multiple requests that our outside of our policy, it is simply not
acceptable for us to continue to ignore these requests endlessly."
Keto and Trisees gave each other a satisfied nod.
"Therefore," continued the hostess without missing a beat, "A large
dose of knockout gas will now be administered into the lift in order
to prevent further requests."
"Wait, wha-" began Trisees, before a large gout of purple gas hissed
out from a small vent above the monitor, hitting both Keto and Trisees
squarely in the faces and causing them to step backwards, spluttering,
before it took full effect and they both slumped to the floor,
The hostess beamed.
"Thank you for your custom."
OOC: Okay, so Keto and Trisees are now unconscious in a lift on their
way down to Supply Field B. Given that the lift could stop at any
floor for somebody else to step on, feel free to tag, anyone! :)
Failing that, anybody who wants to be in Supply Field B when they
arrive, feel free too!

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